Imperative Word for the Body of Christ

Don't you just love it when God really wants you to hear a word He will repeat it several times until you've heard it? When listening to sermons, doing Bible study or talking with people I often hear words from the Lord. They pierce my heart and I think to myself, "wow, that was good." Then, other times, I hear the same word in different contexts, through many different venues and it's those times my spirit comes to complete attention. It's like the Lord saying to me, "Amy, wake up, this is really important. I not only want you to hear this, I want you to act on it." I have heard such a word in the last two weeks and now I am going to "act on it."

Repentance, it's important. No, let's take it further, it's imperative. Without repentance we cheapen the gift of grace.

Russell and I visited a church in Leiper's Fork, Tennessee a couple of Sundays ago. In case you are wondering where Leiper's Fork is, it is somewhere in the boonies near Franklin. Great place, you really should visit:)

We pulled up to the church and there on the sign it read, "Those who mourn will find comfort" or something like that. The pastor is doing a series on the Beatitudes and this particular week they were on Matthew 5:4, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

I must admit when I read the sign I wasn't too excited. I thought the message would be depressing. You know what they say about assumptions...

The pastor went into detail about the word "mourn." Of course to mourn means to grieve due to loss, but in this context it is more accurately referring to Godly sorrow. Sin makes God sorrowful, it grieves His heart. Sin should also grieve ours.

Let's look at II Corinthians 7:10 , "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." (NIV)

Now the same verse in the Message "Distress that drives us to God does that. It turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets."

The pastor went on to say he feels as believers we are uncomfortable with confronting other's sin and we downplay the need for repentance. For example, when a sister or brother comes to us and confesses a sin, perhaps looking for accountability and/or encouragement we are quick to say, "hey man, don't worry about it, it's no big deal." We downplay the seriousness of sin because it makes us uncomfortable to really look at it face to face. Probably because we too struggle with similar sin and to confront it in another turns the spotlight on our own hearts as well.

We are instructed in James 5:16 to confess our sins to one another so healing may come. Confession is part of repentance. Repentance is part of a Godly lifestyle if we want to live in the abiding place referred to in Psalm 91:1.

As the body of Christ we must stop sugar coating sin. Let's call it what it is!

Now, in effort to convey a balanced scriptural view on the subject I must say I do not believe anyone should wallow in guilt or condemnation. Holding onto sin and allowing the enemy to tell us we are dirty or unworthy is a denial of what Christ did on the cross.

Remembering one of my favorite verses Romans 2:4, "God's kindness leads you toward repentance." It is His goodness that draws us to repent because the Holy Spirit in us is grieved by sin. Going back to the beatitude, "blessed are those that mourn, for they will be comforted." Godly sorrow brings repentance and repentance brings forgiveness and forgiveness releases healing and freedom...and nothing is more comforting then that!

Papa God continued to speak to me about repentance at the conference I just attended. The conference theme was glory and intimacy. A line I wrote down in my notes was "clean conscience by repentance." You see, it is clear, repentance is necessary for those who want to walk more intimately with the Father. Not because we have to be "good enough," or "perfect," but because sin puts up a wall between us and our Daddy. I want what grieves Him to grieve me.

Let's take this up a notch and move from personal repentance to corporate repentance. I believe repentance is a good word for the current state of our nation. I am reminded of II Chronicles 7:14, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

This verse is quoted often when people are focused on the doom and gloom state of the government, economy, culture, etc. But I want to warn you don't be so quick to claim this verse without reading it carefully. Notice it clearly states we are to "turn from wicked ways." This is repentance in a nutshell.

Do you see the cause and effect pattern in this verse? Calling on His name leads to humility, where we fall on our face seeking His. When we truly seek His face we are struck with our need for repentance. Repentance clears the lines between us and heaven so we hear His voice. We then are able to receive forgiveness and healing! Isn't that amazing?!?!

Pointing the finger at one political party or person isn't the answer. Rioting, boycotting, name calling, petitioning, etc aren't the answer. Repentance is the answer, it's right there in the Book!

You might be wondering what this has to do with you? May I suggest it starts with you? Humble yourself and confess and repent from the sins of our fathers. Yes, you can repent for past generations in order to bring about change for future generations!

I have recently participated in such intercession. I was lead to repent for the sins of pride, rebellion and fear for myself and this region. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal to your heart what sins on behalf of your region and you, personally, need to repent for.

This blog has taken two different courses, thank you for staying with me. In short, walk in a lifestyle of repentance for yourself, then do your part to bring about repentance for your city, state and nation. Then praise God for His faithfulness to honor His promise to "heal," in your heart and your land!

I thank You, Papa God, that Your kindness and goodness is what leads us to repentance! I want my heart so in line with Yours, that I am grieved when You are grieved! Thank you in advance for healing my heart and healing my city...it truly does make My Soul Sing!

At the Foot of the Cross

When is the last time you visited the foot of the cross? Was it at your salvation? A weekend retreat? When someone you love was very ill and needed a miracle? After a moving sermon during an altar call?

For me, it was yesterday morning. No frills, no pomp, no moving sermon or fancy worship service...no manipulating pastor with good intentions to move his flock closer to Jesus. No, none of that, just a hurting heart and a need to lay it down at His feet.

I knew I was hurt, even angry. What I didn't realize is I needed to forgive. A phone call from a sweet sister who asked the question, "how are you?" was all it took for the waterworks to begin. My reply, "I'm a mess." She asked, "what are you a mess about?" Me, "I don't know."

I got my breath and then my heart started to speak. The issues were soon defined and out in the open. Her reply, "well, Amy, you know the first thing you are going to need to do is forgive."

Really? Forgive? Something I walk people through on a weekly basis and it hadn't even crossed my mind I needed it in my own situation! Yes, we really do need the body (of Christ) to guide us along the narrow path when our "stuff" (aka baggage) is blocking our ability to see and hear God's direction for ourselves. Forgiveness is exactly what was needed.

Holding on to un-forgiveness will almost always block your intimacy with the Father. Now, if you aren't intimate with Him to begin with, you may not be able to relate to that statement. Building an intimate relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit has been my life purpose the last few years and I definitely recognize when there is a block.

There is nothing more discouraging and frustrating then feeling I can't connect with Him. When all I can pray is, "oh, God" and it is seemingly quiet on the other end of the dialogue. Because that is what prayer should be, a dialogue, between you and Him. If we stay focused on ourselves and our "stuff," prayer will be all about our needs/wants and we will completely miss out on the relationship He wants with us. If we are focused on Him, it will be a time of dialogue. He will speak to your heart. One of the goals of *inner healing* is to develop this kind of intimacy with our Daddy.

Where were we...oh yes, forgiveness. So, as I sat at my kitchen counter with my cup of coffee, I started to forgive, "I choose to forgive (name here) for (offense here) and how it made me feel (list of feelings/emotions tied to the offense.) I cancel the debt they owed me to (what they should have done/or my perception of what they should have done, or not done.) Lord, I break agreement with any judgments I made about them and ask you to forgive me. I release them from all my expectations to meet my needs. I turn to You, Father God, to meet my needs and heal all my pain. In Jesus Name, Amen."

I went through this process for each person and then heard the Father gently say, "forgive yourself." Yeah, right! God, I really need to go brush my teeth and get ready to leave for my appointment this morning...catch that self forgiveness later, okay?

I went about my business and couldn't get away from the gentle nudge of Holy Spirit saying, "forgive yourself."

Knowing I wanted my peace back I complied, reluctantly. It went something like this:

I choose to forgive myself for being hard on myself, for resenting myself for allowing this situation to come between me and Papa God. I choose to forgive myself for punishing myself with verbal condemnation and condemning thoughts. I choose to forgive myself for not accepting God's forgiveness in this matter, by making a choice to hold onto the pain. I choose to forgive myself for speaking curses over myself and those involved. For losing my patience and yelling. I choose to forgive myself for opening the door to the enemy in my life, even though I know better! I choose to forgive myself for going to bed angry. I choose to forgive myself for not trusting God to work this together for my good. I choose to forgive myself for setting standards that are too high for me or anyone else in my life to meet and for withholding love because they don't meet them.

Ugly, huh? See why I needed to verbalize that and lay it at His feet?

So, again, I ask you, "when was the last time you visited the foot of the cross?" In inner healing circles we call this "doing kingdom business." DKB is a lifestyle. It isn't just for those moments of intense emotional pull mentioned at the beginning of this post. As soon as Holy Spirit brings it to your mind, you need to make the effort and the choice (oh, it's definitely a choice.)

More often than not it will be done in the presence of One, perhaps at your kitchen counter, maybe in the car, in your quiet time...although there are times when you need the body to come along side you and be your eyes and ears.

James 5:16, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

If you've not experienced this power in prayer maybe it is because you have isolated yourself. You've tried to handle it quietly, on your own and without the support of others. Maybe you're ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid. It's why I wrote this post. I want to share with you the freedom that comes with transparency. Light exposes darkness...every time!

None of us are perfect. Releasing pain, un-forgiveness, sin, etc. is part of every Christian's walk. There is no condemnation in it, only healing, forgiveness and FREEDOM!

I invite you to the foot of the cross...a place of restoration and redemption. To listen to a song about the foot of the cross go here and listen to this beautiful song by Kathryn Scott.

Releasing and receiving forgiveness at the foot of the cross makes My Soul Sing!

*Inner Healing* If you are interested in receiving inner healing or learning more about what inner healing is, please visit Growing in Grace Ministries website at www.iggm.org. Check out the Sozo ministry link. I invite you to come and experience freedom, healing and deliverance!

All you had to do was give it to Me

It has been awhile since I've written a post that is one part confession and one part exhortation:) I pray the Father speaks to you through this personal revelation.

My husband and I joined a small group. It met for the first time last night. This isn't your typical "new" small group because many of us were already in covenant relationship with each other. This level of intimacy allowed us to skip over the formalities and awkwardness of getting to know one another and get right to business. We each were asked to share up to three prayer requests.

As I listened to those who went before me I was thinking of what my requests would be. My thoughts went to several on going prayer needs within my family, but I knew none of these were what the Lord was wanting me to share with the group. He wanted me to get personal and share my heart.

Ironically, it took me awhile to realize what the concern of my heart was. I didn't go to the meeting thinking anything was weighing heavy on my heart. In hindsight I realized I couldn't have been more wrong!

My turn to share came and out of my mouth came an earnest desire of my heart. It was a mama's cry. I can not share the details, but just know it was a burden, one I didn't fully realize the weight of...

We had a time of prayer and left agreeing to lift one another up in the days and weeks ahead.

As I was driving my younger daughter to school this morning I noticed a shift. The very thing I had shared in my request was different this morning. Hmmm? I thought to myself. It was then I heard His voice, "all you had to do was give it to Me." Ding, ding, DUH!

For a brief moment I entertained the condemning thought, "how could you miss that, Amy?" I was quick to go back to the revelation my Daddy had given me...

"All YOU had to do was give it to Me."

"All you had to DO was give it to Me."

"All you had to do was GIVE it to Me. "

" All- you- had- to- do- was- give- it- to- Me."

I consider myself an intercessor. I love to pray. I love to listen for His heartbeat; the heartbeat of heaven and release what I hear the Father say into the environment around me. I love to intercede on the behalf of others. But what I had missed was a personal need. What I realized is I had tried to "fix" it myself. Trying to cope in my strength. How I know this doesn't work! DUH! "All you had to do was give it to Me."

It wasn't that I didn't think God cared about this need, or that He was too busy...it just wasn't on my radar until I spoke it out...when I heard my voice admit to the group this issue was robbing me of peace I knew the gravity of the issue. Living in a place of His peace is something I jealously guard and voraciously treasure. "All you had to do was give it to Me."

In my heart I know the prayer is answered, it's a done deal. The situation is back in His capable hands because I have removed mySELF out of the equation. The burden is where it was meant to be all along...at His feet. He gave me His easy yoke in exchange for my weighty burden! (Matthew 11:28-30)

Perhaps you are reading this and He has brought an issue, situation or need to your mind. Have you given it to Him? Maybe you have given it to Him only to pick it back up? Hopefully you are able to lay it down and leave it at the foot of the cross, remembering there is no limit to how many times you can do so. If you feel like it's been a seemingly never ending cycle, shake off any condemnation and lay it down again...and leave it there. "All you had to do was give it to Me."

Papa, I thank You. I thank You for being accessible 24/7/365. I thank You for longing for me to come to You with the heaviest of burdens and the smallest of burdens, because in Your eyes they are equally important. I thank You for placing me in a community who generally cares about my well being. I thank You I was designed to live in community where transparency brings healing. You are a good and loving Father. You long for me to depend on You, trust in You and come to You. My Soul Sings because all I had to do was give it to YOU!

*If you are personally struggling with a burden and want a safe place to share, I would love to pray for you. You can send me a private message by Facebook:)

I've got the POWER!

In my last post I promised a second post that would take a look at how we empower the enemy to wreck havoc in our lives. As with all my posts I take a look at the subject from my experience with it. This isn't a complete look at spiritual warfare, nor is it a complex one.

If you haven't read the previous post I recommend you start there, because I will refer to it.

In review: Adam and Eve relinquished authority when they chose to sin in the garden. Notice I said chose. Yes, they were given a choice, just like you and I are given choices everyday. Jesus came to fulfill the law, died and was resurrected which gave us back all authority.

Short and sweet, every victory we will ever need on this earth has been purchased by His death on the cross....EVERYTHING! If you deny this, you are denying the finished work of the cross!

If we have been given the power to defeat Satan and his minions why is it the body of Christ isn't walking in greater victory? There are many answers to this question and I'm only going to cover a couple of what I believe to be some valid answers.

First, I believe the body of Christ doesn't understand and fully take advantage of her identity in Christ. Instead of believing and acting upon the truth we are over comers in Christ, we walk around as if Satan is always nipping at our tails. Romans 8:37 tells us we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us!

Matthew 28:18 Jesus tells us all authority in heaven and earth has been given to Him. Jesus gives us the kingdom His Father conferred on Him in Luke 22:29. He gave us the keys to the kingdom in Matthew 16:19. Our weapons of warfare in II Corinthians 10:4 have divine power to demolish strongholds. In Ephesians 6:10-18 we are instructed about the full armor of God. Bottom line, friends, we are powerful and we are protected in and by the name and blood of Jesus Christ!

Secondly, because we undermine our God given power and, inadvertently, deny our identity in Christ, we base our beliefs on what circumstances and situations look like in this fallen world. I call this eyes on the natural. When we do this we can't help but pick up some ungodly beliefs (aka, lies) along the way. Lies about our identity, lies about the work of the cross, lies about God, etc...It is here we get into what is referred to as "open sin doors."

An open sin door is referring to ways we open the door to the enemy to work in our life. Now, most of us don't purposefully open the door when we are choosing to live for Christ. When many think of open doors to the enemy they think of blatant rebellion towards God such as a lifestyle of drugs, sexual promiscuity, stealing, witchcraft, pornography, etc. Christians don't normally like to think of ways they commonly open the door to Satan through such sins as fear, worry, stress, anxiety (to name a few.)

For the sake of this post we will use fear as an example of an open sin door.

Let's use Job for our example. Most people refer to Job as a man of God, living a life of holiness, blessing and righteousness. What we miss is one little verse in Job 3:25. In all my years of "church" and hearing the story of Job it wasn't until a few years ago I caught this. Job 3:25, "What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me." If we read by it too quickly we miss the fact that Job opened the door to the enemy through his sin of fear. Yes, fear is sin. All throughout the Bible we are told to fear not...it is obviously important.

If you've been reading my blog for awhile you will know one of my favorite verses is I John 4:18. I don't pass up an opportunity to use it, so here goes: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

As Danny Silk says often in his "Loving Our Kids On Purpose" curriculum, "fear is the mortal enemy of love." Just as fear displaces love, love displaces fear. Fear is not from God! As His children we were not created to fear anything or anybody other than God!

I could probably write a book on ways many Christians (myself included) open the door to the enemy through fear, worry, stress and anxiety. I hope my point has been made clear in this brief example of using fear as the open door.

When we walk in fear we empower the enemy by believing lies such as: "I am not safe. God will not protect me. I am not worthy of protection. I deserve the bad in my life." Any time we place our circumstances above the truth of God's character we are opening ourselves up for trouble. God is either who He says He is or He isn't. What or who are you choosing to empower?

*You may be asking where do I start? You start with your thinking. A renewed mind (Romans 12:2) is key to your success in walking out your God given destiny. Ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you beliefs you have that do not line up with His truth. Break agreement with those lies and ask Him to tell you what His truth is, then declare that truth over yourself, write it down, journal it, study scripture that backs it up. Meditate on Truth, the promises of God and who God says you are until the truths He shows you are deeply rooted in your heart.

When faced with lies or negative thoughts cast them down (II Cor. 10:5) and go back and feed yourself on the Truth. Do you see the cycle? I can assure you after years of believing so many lies I continually have to go back and remind my heart of the truth, say the truth, sing the truth, pray the truth and declare the truth. To encourage you I must admit this has worked marvelously well, but it has been a lifestyle for me, not just something I do in times of crisis! You shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set you free (John 8:32.)

I saw a quote on Twitter recently that basically said, "as a believer you can know you are doing something good for God when you sense the enemy at your door." I disagree with this statement, emphatically! Yes, the enemy is looking for opportunity, but you first have to open the door to him.

One such way you could in the scenario of doing good work for the Lord is to allow yourself to become puffed up with pride. Proverbs 16:18, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." The open door here would be pride. Let's also not forget false humility/self abasement is also pride, because it is still focus on self. If I am doing something good for the Lord I don't want to be focused on Satan, but the glory of my awesome God! Satan isn't worthy of our time or attention!!!!!

If you sense the enemy, stop and ask the Lord to show you the open door, then close it and choose to keep it closed!!!! Sensing the enemy at work isn't something to fear either...the Lord will allow Satan to trigger issues and situations in your life He is wanting to address and HEAL! I think sometimes it is easier to wallow in the mire of "being attacked" then it is to take a hard look at issues and pain in your heart the Lord is wanting to talk about so He can bring healing. From experience I can tell you it is hard, but the other side of "doing kingdom business" with Jesus is beautiful and free!

As always, it is not my desire to change your thinking or to debate theology, but to give you something to think about and search out with the Lord on your own:)

Living a life with Satan under my feet and basking in a life filled with a glorious abundance of love, freedom and grace in my Abba Daddy truly makes My Soul Sing!

*If you are having trouble knowing how to begin this process and are near the Chattanooga, TN area, Growing in Grace Ministries can help you. GGM is where I minister in the area of inner healing. You can go here and check out our Sozo ministry. We can teach you how to hear the voice of God and live a life replacing lies with truth, walking in greater victory and deeper intimacy with the Father. Check us out!

God and the Boogie Man

Those of you with children raised during the Veggie Tale era will recall the song "God is bigger than the boogie man." This is a profoundly true statement! But, how many of us live like the opposite is true?

Okay, so maybe not the opposite...but how many of us, if we were really honest, have subconsciously lived like Satan is an equal opponent to God? Our head knowledge tells us otherwise, but the way we live sometimes tells another story.

It wasn't too long ago that I might have believed and/or said the following statements, "God is moving in a mighty way in my life and I can tell Satan doesn't like it" (then living anticipating an attack) or "Because I'm engaged in spiritual warfare I've opened myself up to an attack of the enemy" or chalking up everything going wrong in my life to spiritual warfare.

Now when I hear statements similar to these, I cringe. What I have come to realize is by believing these statements we are in essence making Satan an equally equipped opponent of God...he is NOT! Beliefs like this also bring attention to the enemy, in a way I feel like they glorify him. Instead of focusing on how big our God is we are looking for the devil behind every bush...expecting a move on his part.

I believe in living from heaven to earth. After all scriptures tells us we are seated in heavenly places with Christ (see Ephesians 2:6.) If we are heavenly minded, living from a renewed mind (Romans 12:2) we are less likely to empower Satan. Yes, you read that correctly...I believe we empower him.

Now, I've told you before I'm no theologian. I am no Bible scholar by any stretch of the imagination...but I have the Holy Spirit as my Teacher and this is where I have landed...

Adam and Eve lived with authority over every living thing, free from sin, in the garden before the fall. After the fall they lost their authority. The rest of the Old Testament tells of a forthcoming Savior and our need for a Redeemer. In the New Testament Jesus comes and fulfills the law . His death, burial and resurrection give us back all authority in His name (Matthew 28:18.)

Jesus gave us back what Adam and Eve lost. This is the simplified version...and I certainly do like simple:)

After coming to this simple truth I realized I had not lived from this perspective and therefore I had forfeited the resurrection power of Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence Holy Spirit give me. I had not been living in my inheritance as a disciple called to do greater works (John 14:12.)

Bill Johnson puts into words best what this post is trying to convey:

"Don't live in reaction to darkness, instead live in response to Truth."

"If we live in reaction to the devil, he sets our agenda. He is not worthy. We are to live in response to God."

So what has this looked like when practically applied to my life? I live with my eyes focused upward. I feed my mind on Truth. I cast down any negative thoughts (II Corinthians 10:5.) When discouragement comes I purpose to look to the Father and ask Him how He sees the situation. Though I am aware of the enemy, I do not look for him or expect him to automatically try to thwart the plans God has for my life. If you are looking for the enemy chances are you aren't looking toward God.

We've only just scratched the surface on this topic. You may be thinking I am an ostrich with my head in the sand. Trust me, I know ignoring the enemy won't make him go away and I am fully aware of that. My next post will talk about how we give the enemy authority in our lives by opening the door to sin in our lives. Revelation of this has impacted my life in ways I can't even describe, but I will attempt to in my next post!

In the mean time I encourage you to spend less time looking for or out for Satan and more time renewing your mind with the Sword of Truth! The battle is fought and won in your mind...so by all means, RENEW IT daily!

Living from heaven to earth, renewing my mind and focusing on Jesus has empowered me to walk victoriously and this makes my soul not only sing, but shout, "Thank you, Jesus!"

Mediocre to Magnificent Part Two

I'm back! I know you are all dying to read part two:) Don't you just hate it when you read a good fiction book that is part of a series and you have to wait until the next one to find out the end of the story...Karen Kingsbury series come to mind. I read one in less than 24 hours and can hardly wait for the next one to be published. Well, that was back in the day when I read for entertainment, who has time for that anymore?

Gasp, did I just compare my little blog series with a Kingsbury novel? Pretty bold and assuming of me, eh?

Now, where were we...oh yes, marriage, my marriage to be exact.

In the last post I talked about how I realized in order to bring life to my marriage I had to do something with myself. I not so sheepishly told all you readers you are only responsible for you. Really, I can't stressed that enough.

Many times in talking with women who are struggling in their marriages their focus is on their husband. If only he would..., if only he would say..., if only he would do..., if only he wouldn't do... You can fill in the blanks. Ladies, you can not change your husband. No amount of nagging, begging, pleading or change him prayers will work. God gave us each free will, any change made is our choice.

Russell and I attended a marriage seminar this past weekend. It was phenomenal! If you ever have a chance to attend a
"Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor do it!

Mark talks about how to relate to your spouse, not turn them into another version of yourself. I wholeheartedly agree! In essence we are asking the question, "why can't you be more like me?" Making our spouse into another us is not the way to a better marriage.

After several years of walking through inner healing and aligning my thoughts to God's truth, I actually like me. Russell no longer has to tip toe through my emotional minefield on a daily basis which has changed the atmosphere in our home. A happy and fulfilled wife makes for a happy home...at least most of the time:)

So, how did we get here? Let's talk about some of the principles in play in my marriage that may spark some revelation in yours.

* First and foremost, find your fulfillment and identity in Jesus Christ alone. No man can ever fulfill your heart...to expect one to do so is setting yourself and the relationship up for failure. It is humanly impossible for any person to meet all our expectations. Releasing others from your expectations not only sets you free, it sets them free.

* Take your hurts to Jesus. Your husband can not fix you. Sure he can bring you comfort and support, but ultimately Jesus is the only one who can heal your pain.

* Work on you. Allow Jesus to mold you and shape you into His image. Hope you're not counting how many times I've said this:) It really is a key ingredient.

* Respect your husband. Never cut him with your words. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. This doesn't mean you can't express how you feel. You can and you should. But never put him down in order to make your point or in an effort to get revenge. Never intentionally accuse him or berate him. VERY IMPORTANT!!!!

* Encourage him.

* Appreciate him and tell him often how much. Determine his best qualities and praise him in those areas.

* Sex...you knew it would come up eventually. Ladies, men NEED it!!!! Never withhold sex as a means of revenge or payback...it's just plain selfish to do so. Believe me, there was a time I was highly selfish in this area.

* Never berate your husband to your children. They need the security of knowing you love their father. Also remember you are modeling to your daughters what a wife should look like. If you nag your husband, they will learn this behavior and most likely will someday nag theirs. Husbands (if there are any out there that have read this far) remember you are modeling to your sons what a Godly husband looks like. Dads to girls you are modeling what a husband looks like to your daughters...treat them like royalty and they won't settle for second best, selling themselves short. Behavior is learned, not taught...what are your actions teaching?

* Never go to bed angry. Seek reconciliation first. Even if you are right (or think you are right:) in an argument or disagreement be the first to bridge the gap. It's just not worth it to let anger fester into bitterness.

* Don't be afraid to say you are wrong when you are wrong. Pride does nothing but build a wall between you and the one you love.

* Put your marriage before your children. Time with your spouse is priority. It is challenging when the children are young, but it will pay in dividends in the long haul. Make it happen!

* Forgive quickly, don't harbor unforgiveness in your heart for lengthy periods of time.


Lengthy list, I am sure you can add to it and make it your own. Since I'm a wife I am primarily talking to wives, but husbands can glean from these principles as well!

It might be a good time to add I am not perfect, my husband is not perfect and our marriage is not perfect. However, we are honestly more in love and more connected now then in all our 18 years of marriage. I give God all the glory, but I also want to brag on my man a bit.

Russell Dover has a servant's heart the size of Texas. He serves naturally, it is second nature to him. He sees dishes in the sink, he washes them. Load of laundry in the basket, he folds it. When our girls were babies he changed many dirty diapers. I could write an entire post on how he serves me and the girls, but I want you to still like me and that might provoke a good dose of envy:)

He has always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. When I have a dream, he does everything in his ability to see it come to life. Making me happy, makes him happy. As I grow and mature in my love for Jesus, and my husband, I live to return this happiness to him. He can accomplish whatever he sets his mind to accomplish and I have a part in that by encouraging him and believing in him.

In the seminar Mark made a statement that most affairs don't begin for sexual reasons, they begin for emotional ones. As wives if we aren't believing in our husbands, being their number one cheerleader, someone else might come in and fill that role. So, get out your pom-poms and 2-4-6-8 who do you appreciate? Your hubby!

Russell makes me feel safe. Ultimately I know my defender and protector is God, but it sure is nice having a husband who models God to me here on earth. When my world seems to be in chaos, Russell helps me put situations into perspective...he keeps me balanced. We are a team.

If you have read this and thought to yourself, well that's just peachy for her, but I don't have this kind of marriage...I want to encourage you that you can. Where to start? Start at the beginning, work on you. While you are working on you love, love, love your man. Die to self and do for him sacrificially. If you wait on him to start the process you might be waiting a very long time.

I Peter 3:1 talks about how wives are to win over their husbands. The context is winning over an unbelieving husband, but the same principle applies to winning over husbands in general. When I started making changes I didn't announce to Russell, "today, you have a new wife. I've decided to turn from being negative and critical to loving and encouraging." No, he would have to see it to believe, so I started walking it out in front of him, winning him over without words. Ladies, I have to tell you, it didn't take long for him to notice or respond.

I don't share our marriage with you to discourage you or make you envious. I share our story to impart hope. Nothing is impossible for God. No marriage is too far gone He can't restore it and redeem it. Perhaps your marriage is good, but you desire it to be magnificent...what are you waiting for? The God of all creation can take you from mediocre to magnificent, ask Him to show you the way!

Spending a lifetime with my terrific hubby, growing in love and grace together surely does make My Soul Sing!

Summer Time Schedule

Hi Friends in Blogland! Just stopping by to say hello. I have not disappeared, nor have I forgotten you or my 2nd post in the marriage series. This summer has proven to one of the busiest yet. I am my 14 year old's official taxi cab driver!

My hubby and I are attending a marriage seminar this weekend called, "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" by Mark Gungor. I am looking forward to it! Marriage maintenance is never a bad thing:) It's like an oil change for your car, your car runs better with regular preventive care:)

I have many topics swirling around in my head and my heart to blog about, so I hope to get back here soon. Until then, I invite you to catch up on my older posts. Enjoy your summer!

Much love!

Amy