Time for Rest

This post will be more like a journal entry; a peek inside my heart and mind the past few days.

It hit me Sunday morning while sitting at my daughter's swim meet. I am exhausted. Not just physically tired, but spiritually and emotionally spent to the point I was feeling it in my physical body. I wanted to weep, but how could I in front of all these people? Surely they would think I am crazy if they asked if I was okay and all I said was, "I'm just tired." After all, it's not uncommon to see swimmers break down into emotion because they didn't "perform" to their expectation...yes, a swim meet has it's potential for many adolescent hormonal displays of emotion:) But, that's not me and my onslaught of weepiness was not remotely tied to swimming.

In the midst of it all, I decided when I got home I was unplugging from life...or as Jack Bauer in the former Fox TV series, "24" would say, "I'm going dark." Yes, I went dark Sunday afternoon and evening and it was delightful! Turned my cell phone off, didn't check Facebook and after both of our girls were home for the day, we even unplugged our house phone. And, I rested.

As I awakened this morning I suspected I would feel completely revived and recharged, but that's not the case. Of course I immediately started to access the situation and my conclusion is this...boundaries...I broke Amy's unwritten rule of living life from a place of rest. I've lived my life the past few weeks with little to no room for time to recharge...leaving not only my body tired, but my mind and heart as well.

I have blogged before about ministering from a place of rest and this is crucial in preventing ministry burn out. I broke my own "rule." Well, I'm not real fond of having a lot of "rules" so maybe it's more of a boundary or guideline than it is a rule. After all, even though we live in the New Covenant under God's grace, His "rules" are there in order to protect us, not restrict us. I don't look at the "rules" of scripture as there to keep me from having fun, no, quite the opposite, they are there to keep me safe.

This summer has been insanely busy...mostly coming from having an active 15 year old in the house. Maybe this summer is God's way of preparing my heart to let her drive next year...something that if I ponder too long makes me slightly anxious at the thought:)

Hmmm, I really don't know. But, one thing I do know is this...our bodies were made to need rest, as much as they were made to need food and water. God even modeled resting to us on the 7th day of creation. So, in the midst of the crazy summer schedule I am going to re-evaluate my boundaries and carve out more time for rest.

This past Saturday night at our home church, Joy shared with us about stewardship. Stewardship is about more than just our finances. We will steward well what we have value for...if I'm not stewarding my body well, I'm not only not taking care of God's temple, I'm not honoring my family with the best of me. When I am weary in body, soul and spirit I am not going to be the best wife, mother or friend. Stewarding our bodies well is also an act of worship to God!

I believe I was created to share and be transparent, which is the purpose of this blog post. Somehow, just processing this on "paper" has relieved my soul of a burden...thanks for listening and I hope this will speak to many other "weary" ones.

Exchanging weariness and fatigue for His yoke makes MY SOUL SING! Now, where is my pillow and soft praise music?????

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings, please become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Sweeter than Candy!

"Complaining in the Kingdom doesn't get you candy." I heard this said in a sermon I was listening to by Kris Vallotton and it really sparked some thought in this ole' head of mine.

The overall message wasn't necessarily about the direction I am taking this blog...it just sparked some thought which led to revelation for me personally...which, in my opinion, is too good not to share:)

After Kris made this statement he went on to the give the example of a child throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store, begging mom for candy. You know how the story ends, because I think we (parents) have all been in this story...you get the child candy, in hopes of shutting them up and keeping peace. Not the end of the world if this is a rare occurrence, BUT if this becomes a pattern we really are doing our children a disservice by teaching them complaining/throwing a fit/whining gets them what they want in life. Although this may be true to some degree i.e. complain in a restaurant about the food or service and you may get a free meal out of it, it isn't how God does business....in other words, it's not kingdom.

I will be the first one to confess I have parented this way...giving in to my girls just to make peace...but then I was challenged several years ago by Matthew 5:37 in several areas of my life, but particularly in the parenting department. My paraphrase of Matthew 5:37 is, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no."

My girls don't push the envelope as much these days, especially my older daughter. I have even overheard her say to one of her friends, "when my mom says no, she means no. There's no need in begging her."

Okay, so you may be wondering where I am taking this...I'm getting there...

I started to think of how God parents us. Sometimes we pray and ask for something and the answer, or lack of answer, can be translated as a no from God. Then I am reminded of the story of Abraham and Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham was in true relationship with God and in Genesis 18 we see him plead with God on behalf of the righteous in Sodom. If you are not familiar with this story I would encourage you to go read it. Very encouraging and empowering to know we can have this kind of relationship with the God of the universe!!!

What I gleaned from this is I want to teach my children they can persuade (not manipulate) me, just as we can pray to God and persuade Him. You might have trouble comprehending we can persuade God, but we can probably agree that one of the purposes of prayer is to come into alignment with His heart. I think this is just another facet of what true relationship with Father God looks like...intimacy, where you see His heart and He knows yours...and because He is a good Father He wants to fulfill our desires, but they must be in accordance with His character and His word.

If I can see one of my daughters truly has a heart desire for what they are asking for I will do everything in my ability to fulfill their request...no complaining, begging or whining required!

No, complaining truly doesn't get you candy in the Kingdom, but it does get you something, but not anything you would want...it gives you an all access pass to visit the realm of darkness. It will empower the enemy to move in your life. I love the quote by Bill Johnson, "complaining is to the demonic what praise is to God."

As Psalm 100:4 tells us, "enter His presence with thanksgiving and His courts with praise."

I want to dwell in His presence...complaining doesn't put me there, praise does. I want to parent my girls like Father God parents me. I want everything I do and say to reflect the kingdom of God. What about you?

Thankful for the process of learning to live with a Kingdom mindset one step at a time. My Soul Sings with praise and thanksgiving for my Jesus and that, my friends, is sweeter than any candy!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings, please, become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Love is the Key

The Beatles were really onto something with their song "All We Need is Love." But, "Whose love?" would be the question I would pose.

Have you ever had someone in your life that was just plain broken? Messed up? Hopeless? Helpless? No matter what you say or do, nothing is ever enough to pull them out of the pit of despair they find themselves perpetually living. Have you ever thought if I could just love them to wholeness everything would be so much better?

Yes, I believe love is the key and love is everything, but not necessarily human love, but divine love. Until we experience God's love, nothing and no one can fill the hole or holes in our heart.

If you follow me on Twitter or if you are my friend on Facebook you will see me often post about my love for Jesus and His love for me. Friends, these exclamations of my love for Him are more than just beautiful words to me. They are deep and they are real...because I have been forever changed by His love.

I am passionate about leading others into the same healing and freedom I have found through my relationship with Jesus. I have shared my story over coffee, lunch and through Facebook messaging. Some accept what I have to offer, others do not...and that's okay, it's their journey, my obligation is just to share when He says share:)

There are others who ask for help in walking out their journey to wholeness and freedom...inevitably, along the way there are those who don't seem to be able to get over the hurdle of their past, be it sin or shame, they just seem stuck.

I rejoice with those who walk on to victory, as I believe it is the will of the Father for each of us to walk in complete victory...but I am saddened by those who choose (yes, it is ALWAYS a choice) to go backwards...which led me to ask Papa God the question...Why? Papa, why do some embrace Your healing and others do not?

The list of obstacles is lengthy. Shame, unworthiness, guilt, fear and control are a few things standing in the way of true freedom. Each of these have to be dealt with on their own, but there is one key that unlocks them all...Love, God's love.

One of my all time favorite scriptures is I John 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."

Perfect love isn't a feeling or emotion; it is a person, JESUS.

Sounds so simple, yet it is so difficult for many to grasp. Papa was giving me the antidote and the answer to my question and it is love, His love. How can one get past the obstacles forming a wall around their heart, preventing themselves from being hurt, abused or taken advantage of? These walls have protected them from bad stuff, but they have also blocked the love capable of setting them free! The process to healing starts with receiving God's love.

Have you ever met someone who seemed unlovable or hard to love? Perhaps even feeling like you didn't like them too much, but you couldn't put your finger on why. Odds are, they don't love themselves and they project a "I'm not lovable" vibe. In actuality, they are dying on the inside from lack of love.

When I realized I couldn't love anyone to wholeness until they were ready to receive it, my perspective shifted. I realized I can not be more zealous about pursuing their healing than they are. So, what do you do until they are ready? You love, you surrender the person to God and pray for them how you would want them to pray for you. Ask Papa to fill them with His love, making His love real to them, filling every place in their heart where there is pain or void with His perfect love that casts out fear. He will. Loving us is His speciality and no one is excluded!

If you are reading this and the person needing to experience God's love is you, I pray you would have the courage and desire to move forward in your pursuit of our loving God. I pray you would become a target for all the goodness and love Papa God has for you! He has been waiting to lavish you with His love. The first step to walking out a path to wholeness and healing is allowing Him to love you. Let Him use the key of love to unlock your heart, you can trust Him with it!

There are not enough adjectives in the English language to describe the love of God. I am thankful He loves me with an abundant, never ending, furious, extravagant, lavish, all consuming, passionate, perfect, luscious, unconditional, marvelous, amazing, brilliant and radiant LOVE...my soul will forever sing of His love for me and for YOU! I pray your soul is singing too!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings, please, become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Ready for a Divine Upgrade? Embrace the Process!

This post is closely related to my previous post, "Grace for the Process." If you haven't read it, I invite you to scroll on down and do so.

Have you ever heard the saying, "a leopard can't change his spots?" Basically we believe one or two things to be true...you either believe a person can't change, maybe believing "they were born that way." Or, if you subscribe to the ultimate truth of God's Word, you know when one accepts the gift of salvation they become a new creation in Christ (see II Cor. 5:17.)

I 100%, adamantly, without exception or apology, believe the second statement! Upon salvation I became a new creation and will spend my entire life embracing the process to look more and more like Jesus with each passing day! Which brings me to the topic of this post...divine upgrades.

Graham Cooke (yes, I am quite fond of his teachings:) says there are unclaimed upgrades lying all around us. When difficult times come including trials, temptations, battles, etc. we can take a defeated attitude, accept things as is, wallow in self pity or hopelessness...or we can focus our thoughts and eyes on Jesus and allow Him to show us the "upgrade" available through the process! Although I am hesitant at times in submitting to the process (aka, refining) I am always looking for an upgrade...because I have learned the upgrades are well worth the "fire" to get there!

History almost always repeats itself, unless the cycle is broken. Many times we fall into the habit of doing things as usual, the way it's always been done in our families, perhaps our churches or even our denomination...finding ourselves in the same situations, with the only difference being the cast list. It was Albert Einstein who said, "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Maybe it is time for us to change perspectives?

I want to share with you how you could apply this concept to your spiritual walk while merging it with the concept of heavenly upgrades.

I believe God gives us tests. I also believe He has given us EVERYTHING we need to pass these tests. There are no failures, just as many retests as needed in order to pass on to the next one, thus stepping into your upgrade in that area of your life.

Let's take offense as an example...this happens to be a common problem for all of us, after all, it was Jesus who said, "WHEN offense comes." He didn't say "IF."

How we respond to offense is a crucial step in growing up in the Lord. Offense involves relationships, rather they be friendship, family or business oriented.

I must admit my goal use to be when offense took place to make it go away as soon as possible. Sadly, this usually didn't involve seeking a solution or common ground or even agreeing to disagree...no, it meant my goal was to separate or run away from the issue...almost always without resolution. Instead of acknowledging my part in the situation, taking responsibility for my actions I would also be quick to proclaim it was spiritual warfare.

Friends, we need to be careful what we blame the devil for...taking responsibility for seeds you sow is an important first step to walking in your divine inheritance as a son or daughter of the Most High. Blame shifting, rather it be toward other people or a "the devil is after me" mentality won't get you anywhere but the pit...I know, I've been there!

Now, when offense comes I ask the Lord to search my heart according to Psalm 139:23. If I have sinned or acted in a way not pleasing to the Lord I deal with it through repentance and when necessary apologizing to those who I have hurt. I take the pain in my heart to Jesus and get His perspective...trusting Him to meet my needs and releasing those who have hurt me from any expectation I have of them to change or meet my needs...only He can do that anyway!

You have heard me say on this blog many times before and if you hang around you will continue to hear me say it again and again..."You are only responsible for you!" You can not change anybody else and if you wait on those around you to change or if you think they are the problem and your life would be better if they would only (fill in the blank) you might be waiting a very long time...and in the meantime you could have been experiencing a more joy filled, abundant relationship with Jesus as you allow Him to refine YOU! And, of course, during this time you will be presented with more opportunities to pass the test I was referring to earlier. I don't know about you, but I'm not fond of tests and don't like having to take them over and over...I want to pass the first time (although, FYI, I'm not there yet:)

If you are reading this and realize history is repeating itself over and over again in your life...I would suggest you ask Jesus a question. "Jesus, what area in my life are You exposing through Your light, in order to equip me to pass the test and receive my upgrade?"

Friends, I promise He reveals the yuck in our hearts without condemnation. He isn't mad at you or frowning at you...no, quite the opposite...He is yearning for you to come to Him, like any good father, so He can lavish you with more of Him and His solutions. Any area of your life that doesn't line up with the truth of how heaven sees you is a prime target for an heavenly upgrade! So, what are you waiting for?

Learning to seek Him for His solutions, cleaning up my own messes (instead of begging Him to make them go away) and taking responsibility for myself has led me into a more fulfilling and empowering relationship with Papa God...which always makes MY SOUL SING!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings, I invite you to become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Grace for the Process

Wanted to hop on here and share with you a prayer Papa laid on my heart yesterday. It's a prayer I believe if we all prayed it, there would be a fountain of grace flowing more freely in the body of Christ.

I am not saying there is a lack of grace on heaven's part, but I think we have to be mindful that we have freely received grace for ourselves and it's time to freely give it to others as well. We need to be grace givers, not just grace receivers.

In life we are going to have conflict with others. Misunderstandings and offense are inevitable. Unless you live with your head in a hole, it's going to happen. I am at a point in my life where I want to use each opportunity to grow and become more like my Papa. Instead of avoiding or running from difficult situations, I want to meet them head on, in a spirit of love and grace. This is what I refer to as process. I am in process and everyone I come into contact with is in process...some are embracing the process and others are running from it:)

Graham Cooke refers to people in our lives that are difficult, needy or abrasive as grace growers. I have some grace growers in my life and I am sure you do too. Boundaries are necessary with your grace growers, but it's important not to completely shut them out because by doing so you will miss a wonderful opportunity to "grow in the Lord."

When we take offense and pick up our toys and move elsewhere we are just setting ourselves up to be introduced to more grace growers. He will continue to give us opportunity to grow up. It doesn't matter if the environment is different, the process is the same. Truth is, when we move, our junk goes with us...the same areas that need His touch and healing don't go away with new territory...you might as well deal with them where you are and save yourself some time and additional heartache!

For example, maybe you have a pattern of having issues with your boss. You think changing jobs is the solution, only to find the same issues surfacing within a few months in your new environment. Could it be possible, perhaps, YOU have an issue...maybe with authority? We can't control other people and we are only responsible for ourselves...so, take a look in the mirror. Allow Holy Spirit to shine His light on YOUR heart. Ask yourself the hard question...could I be part of the problem? Work on changing YOU and watch what God will do in your environments. It doesn't mean you won't have issues, but you will have His perspective and handling them with a goal toward solution will be possible with heaven backing you up!

So, the prayer He gave me was simply this, "Papa, help me to give myself grace in my process and give me grace for others in their process as well."

Yes, grace for my own process is important, because I have a tendency to beat myself up when I handle things less than "perfect." He isn't mad at me, therefore, I shouldn't be mad at myself. Who doesn't need more grace?

The day I realized I was trying to make people earn the grace I received for free was a day MY SOUL truly learned how to SING!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings please become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Revelation through Duck Poo

Like the title? A little colorful for this blog, I realize, but it was so accurate I couldn't resist!

My 15 year old purchased two baby ducklings a little over two weeks ago. Her plan is to release them when they are fully grown, as we do not have a pond or place for them once they are bigger.

I conceded to her purchase; after much hesitation, because she may be an animal lover, but I am NOT. I think animals are stinky and messy. They are most cute when they are behind a fence or plexiglass at the zoo. What I wasn't prepared for was how fascinated I would become with these two baby ducklings. I have found myself sitting for minutes at a time watching them, taking pictures and video of them on my phone.

Google has become like a Bible for me when it comes to all things about pekin ducks. I have researched about feeding habits, mating habits, moulting, gender identification...you name it. The most intriguing thing I have learned about them is how fast they grow. Two weeks ago you could hold them in the palm of your hand...TINY! Now, they are over half way to fully grown! Which leads me to the reason for my blog title...they poop constantly!

My daughter cleans out their cage at least twice a day. When they are outside playing every few steps they take they poop. I have duck poo all over my driveway and in the grass! The water hose and I have become fast friends. Of course, they eat as much as they poop...but the growth, on my stars!!!! I thought human babies grew fast...these ducks grow literally overnight.

One of my favorite speakers, Larry Randolph, talks about "poo" in the church. He gives the example of the church nursery. There's plenty of poo in the nursery, but what is also there? Growth. The two go together. Newborn babies eat every 2-4 hours and they poop just about as much...but look at how fast they grow!

So, Amy, all this talk about poo is making me ill...I'm sorry, stay with me. I heard Larry give this analogy over a year ago, but the visual raising two ducks provided made it even more profound to me. Which brings me to some questions for you...

Is the church (I'm referring to the body of Christ, not the building) more concerned with looking clean and polished where it makes the poo go away (like me with my water hose) or is the church embracing the "messes" people create and seeing them as an opportunity for great growth and an avenue to maturity through the process?

Let's make this example even more real for those of you who are parents. Do you look at the "messes" your children (think especially pre-teen/teens) make as things you need to fix, cover-up or make go away...or do you look at them as learning and growing opportunities?

I pose that question to myself as well. A few years ago I measured my success as a mother on how well my girls "appeared" to behave. Their behavior was my grading scale...but behavior isn't an accurate assessment and it isn't how God measures us. The church needs to worry less about conformity to the rules and focus more on the condition of people's hearts. In this process of healing and transformation there will be messes, but hopefully they will lead to more maturity and wisdom.

What about in your own life? Do you feel stuck in failures or disappointments? Do they cripple you? I have learned, through experience, I always have choices. I don't always make the right choices...sometimes this effects only me and sometimes it effects those around me. It is my prayer you each have a "safe" environment where things can get "messy" and those around you will extend you grace and mercy just as they have received grace and mercy for themselves. We all need to be constantly "growing up" in the Lord...and friends, messes are part of the process:)

How and what God will use to speak revelation to my heart never ceases to AMAZE me and this is just another reason MY SOUL SINGS!

My Heart Song

Hello, blogland! It's been a long time. I certainly haven't been at a loss for words, but I must admit I haven't felt like blogging for quite some time. To be honest I've not wanted to share what has been on my heart.

I consider myself to be transparent because I have nothing to hide, but quite honestly I have felt misunderstood by people who don't really "know" me. As I touched on in the Passionate about Purpose series to know someone indicates a very intimate relationship. We all have a number of people in our day to day lives, but how many of those people really know us and vice versa? I have a select few I feel really know the song of my heart. They are safe. I can trust them with my heart. It doesn't mean we have to agree on everything, but there is safety in expressing who we really are without any pretenses or expectations. These are the type of friends who if they heard gossip about me would be able to say, "no, I know Amy Dover and that's not her heart."

Out of obedience to my Papa I feel it is time to break my silence. However, I want to reiterate what I stated when I began this blog. I'm not looking for doctrinal arguments. I'm not trying to change how you think. This post and the posts to follow won't take the tone of instruction, teaching or a theological stance. In fact, Jesus doesn't even want me to use much scripture...He said to simply share my story and my heart because through it He wants to release hope to the hopeless.

Jesus often offended the religious leaders of His day. He came and totally turned over their apple-carts so to speak. Sometimes I take stances on issues that aren't mainstream...perhaps even offending some. I believe this has caused me to be misunderstood many times. I will admit this rejection has hurt, but I'm not sorry for standing for what I believe to be His heart.

Recently a friend sent me an encouraging text. In it she said Jesus said to tell you...and she went on to share what He had given her to share. Funny thing is, He had already told me the same word. Not only had He told me, He had told me several times, in several different ways (through song, sermons and scripture)...I like to believe it's because He loves me and knows I need lots of confirmation=)

I read her text and chuckled. I said aloud, "Jesus, okay I get that, I hear You. But I just want them to know my heart." You see, I had already searched my heart on the issue and knew it was pure. I was not prepared for what He said back to me...He said, "Don't you think I want them to know mine?" Wow! Talk about putting my little pity party into perspective! Jesus, the King of kings, is misunderstood? Of course He is! If the planet took the time to get to know Him and know His heart they would fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with Him!

I have spent the past several months seeking His heart and He has not disappointed me. He is revealing His heart to me on many issues. I've got to admit, it's not popular opinion the things He has shown me. Imagine that, Jesus goes against the status quo=)

So, if you're interested in having a front row seat into the beat of my heart, stick around...He has told me to give you a glimpse into His heart, through mine. I'm not saying I have all the answers, or that I have this Christianity thing all figured out, because I do NOT...but what I do have I will share and that is simply a love relationship with Papa, Jesus and Holy Spirit. A relational connection so tight I struggle very little with fear and fear use to consume me. I have peace which I have no explanation for other than Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! It doesn't mean I don't have problems, struggles or sin...it means I know my identity in Christ and I wake up each day with something to celebrate because I have learned to live on earth as it is in heaven. My Soul Sings and it's my prayer your soul is singing too...Stay tuned!