My Heart Song

Hello, blogland! It's been a long time. I certainly haven't been at a loss for words, but I must admit I haven't felt like blogging for quite some time. To be honest I've not wanted to share what has been on my heart.

I consider myself to be transparent because I have nothing to hide, but quite honestly I have felt misunderstood by people who don't really "know" me. As I touched on in the Passionate about Purpose series to know someone indicates a very intimate relationship. We all have a number of people in our day to day lives, but how many of those people really know us and vice versa? I have a select few I feel really know the song of my heart. They are safe. I can trust them with my heart. It doesn't mean we have to agree on everything, but there is safety in expressing who we really are without any pretenses or expectations. These are the type of friends who if they heard gossip about me would be able to say, "no, I know Amy Dover and that's not her heart."

Out of obedience to my Papa I feel it is time to break my silence. However, I want to reiterate what I stated when I began this blog. I'm not looking for doctrinal arguments. I'm not trying to change how you think. This post and the posts to follow won't take the tone of instruction, teaching or a theological stance. In fact, Jesus doesn't even want me to use much scripture...He said to simply share my story and my heart because through it He wants to release hope to the hopeless.

Jesus often offended the religious leaders of His day. He came and totally turned over their apple-carts so to speak. Sometimes I take stances on issues that aren't mainstream...perhaps even offending some. I believe this has caused me to be misunderstood many times. I will admit this rejection has hurt, but I'm not sorry for standing for what I believe to be His heart.

Recently a friend sent me an encouraging text. In it she said Jesus said to tell you...and she went on to share what He had given her to share. Funny thing is, He had already told me the same word. Not only had He told me, He had told me several times, in several different ways (through song, sermons and scripture)...I like to believe it's because He loves me and knows I need lots of confirmation=)

I read her text and chuckled. I said aloud, "Jesus, okay I get that, I hear You. But I just want them to know my heart." You see, I had already searched my heart on the issue and knew it was pure. I was not prepared for what He said back to me...He said, "Don't you think I want them to know mine?" Wow! Talk about putting my little pity party into perspective! Jesus, the King of kings, is misunderstood? Of course He is! If the planet took the time to get to know Him and know His heart they would fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with Him!

I have spent the past several months seeking His heart and He has not disappointed me. He is revealing His heart to me on many issues. I've got to admit, it's not popular opinion the things He has shown me. Imagine that, Jesus goes against the status quo=)

So, if you're interested in having a front row seat into the beat of my heart, stick around...He has told me to give you a glimpse into His heart, through mine. I'm not saying I have all the answers, or that I have this Christianity thing all figured out, because I do NOT...but what I do have I will share and that is simply a love relationship with Papa, Jesus and Holy Spirit. A relational connection so tight I struggle very little with fear and fear use to consume me. I have peace which I have no explanation for other than Jesus, Jesus, Jesus! It doesn't mean I don't have problems, struggles or sin...it means I know my identity in Christ and I wake up each day with something to celebrate because I have learned to live on earth as it is in heaven. My Soul Sings and it's my prayer your soul is singing too...Stay tuned!

Passionate about Purpose Part III

Welcome back to our Passionate about Purpose series. This is part three of our journey. If you are just now joining us hop on down to the first post in the series and read up.

In short review, in our last post we learned striving is a nasty word. We took a brief look at what drives us to strive and how our worth is NOT found in what we do.

Today we are going to discuss what leads to ministry burnout. In our first post I posed several questions to you. One of them was, "Are you, or have you, felt burnout in the area of ministry or Christian service?" If the answer was "yes", hopefully, today's post will shed some light and give you a direction in which to move.

As Christians I believe we all come to a point in our lives where we ask the question, "is this all there is?" If we are honest with ourselves, and each other, most of us have thought it and some of us have even verbalized it. Of course, with this thought comes a good deal of guilt, shame and condemnation. After all, He gave us the greatest gift imaginable, shouldn't we find pure joy in serving Him? The answer is "YES!" Serving Him should be pure joy....so why is it not for many?

Presence and overflow. Two key words which should be at the top of your Christian vocabulary list....way before the word service or servant. In this post we will focus on presence.

I have often said, "without the presence of God we can just all go home." What I mean by this statement is if we aren't hosting the presence of God in our life, especially in the area of Christian service, what we are doing is basically worthless. You might get the best Amy I have, but if His presence isn't on it, the best Amy is useless.

Let's see if I can make this a little clearer...can you think of a time you were in a church service, perhaps a weekend retreat or conference and the atmosphere felt absolutely lifeless? The music was good, the preaching or teaching was average, but something just seemed to be missing? I certainly have experienced this, in fact, most of my life I would say this was my opinion of church and church functions. You go to church and you go to these functions because it's what "good" Christians do, but it's not because they put a fire in your belly, it's because you feel obligated. This my friends is going through the motions. There came a time in my life I recognized there had to be more than this. The God I read about in the Bible simply wasn't this lifeless and boring! Jesus came so we could have life, abundant life (John 10:10.)

After being under the power and presence of God, I can now recognize when the Spirit has left the "building." I love the book by R.T. Kendall, "Sensitivity to the Spirit." He tells of the story in the Bible where Mary and Joseph have been to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. On their way back Mary and Joseph realize Jesus is not with them...it took them three days to realize this!!!! Now, we might read this story and think that is crazy...THREE DAYS! Would it take you three days to realize your child wasn't with you? Pastor Kendall likens this to the Dove (Holy Spirit.) How many times have we moved on in ministry, a church service, etc. without the presence of the Dove? Stuck in our routines, relying on our talents and the Dove has left the building and we don't even notice!

I really haven't done the subject of hosting the presence justice. How can I describe in a few words the magnitude of the power of His presence? I hope you will dig deeper in this subject and I pray Holy Spirit brings you wisdom and revelation...He, after all, is the very best teacher!

So, what is the cure for ministry burnout? I hope you are seeing the answer...it's His presence, but it's also overflow.

What is overflow? I am so glad you asked:) Overflow is the result of spending time in His presence, at His feet, in His lap, in the secret place with Him. When we seek Him we are promised in Scripture we will find Him (Jer. 29:13.) This is your greatest purpose as a child of the King! You were created to worship and love Him. If this is ALL you ever did, you will have fulfilled your highest calling.

In our next post we will discuss this purpose in greater detail and how if we live in a place of worship and overflow, serving Him is a natural by-product! Doesn't that sound wonderful and liberating? Serving Him is a natural by-product of spending time with Him!!!!!

Yes, we have made it harder than He ever designed it to be! Isn't He brilliant? If we would just slow down and seek Him life would be far more rewarding and enjoyable!

If you have spent any significant amount of time here at "My Soul Sings" you will recognize I am a proponent of experiencing God. I fully believe we were made to experience His goodness, power, love and grace in a tangible way. I also value His Word. It is both His written Word (logos) and His spoken word (rhema) that empowers me to walk in His presence and in His power. I have a tangible God. We are instructed to "taste and see He is good" (Psalm 34:8.)

Maybe you are hesitant to "experience" God. I am not here to change your mind, but to share my story of how He changed me and brought me into abundant life. Walking in lifeless religion, void of relationship and experience, didn't work for me...so I leave you with the question, "how's it working for you?" Yep, think about that one...

Until next time, I pray He reveals Himself to you as deep cries out to deep...your soul longs for Him. My Soul Sings because I have found what, no Who, it was crying out for...you can too!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings please become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

He is willing

NOTE: This post is not part of our Passionate about Purpose series, but something I felt the Lord was wanting me to share.

Matthew 8:1-3 tells the story of the man with leprosy who came to Jesus. "When He came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed Him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before Him and said, "Lord if You are willing, You can make me clean." Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. "I am willing," He said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy.

"I am willing." Three simple words which state God's desire to heal. He is willing. Does it say maybe? Does it say sometimes? Does it say if you jump through this hoop and that hoop? NO! It simply says, "I am willing." There are many verses which tell of God's will to heal, but none as simple as these three words found in the 8th chapter of Matthew.

I want to throw out a few more points for your consideration, not to win an argument or debate, but to share with you where I have landed on the question "is it God's will to heal?"

First, look at Hebrews 13:8, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." Jesus healed every person who came to Him for healing....EVERYONE! How many more must He have healed that are not recorded in the gospels? This scripture tells us He is the same today as He was then. He is willing!

Second, Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Jesus sees us all the same. What He has done for one He will do for all! He is willing!

Third, why do many people when they pray for someones healing add at the end of the prayer, "if it's Your will, Lord?" In the 21 recorded healings of Jesus in the gospels, not once did He pray, "if it's Your will, Father." If we are to model Jesus, why do we pray such a thing? Is it because we hold unbelief and doubt in our heart and want a disclaimer at the end of the prayer just in case God doesn't come through? He is willing!

I have seen the supernatural hand of God at work. I am have seen cancer eradicated in the name of Jesus! I have witnessed deaf ears opening! I have seen legs grow out! I have seen supernatural healing in both of my children!

Rachel was healed, through prayer alone, without medical intervention, of an undiagnosed stomach disorder! Juliana was healed of asthma! I am still seeking healing in my own body for several medical conditions. Does this change what I believe God's will is....ABSOLUTELY NOT! Do I rationalize and make excuses for why I have yet to receive my healing? ABSOLUTELY NOT! He is willing!

The God of the universe doesn't need me making excuses for Him. I make the choice to empower the finished work of the cross which is salvation, healing and deliverance in my life. I make a choice NOT to empower the why questions. I choose to empower the solution and the solution is JESUS! He is willing!

Maybe you are struggling with sickness, disease, infirmity or emotional pain in your heart. Maybe you have questioned what God's will for you is. I want to encourage you not to give up! There is always HOPE in the arms of our Savior. He is mighty to save (body, soul and spirit.) If you would like me to pray with you, please send me a message through Facebook or to afdover@hotmail.com.

So, what about you? Will you choose to empower the Solution or empower the questions? My Soul Sings and can be at rest because I know, "He is willing!"

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings please become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Passionate about Purpose Part II

Woo-hoo, my life has been full lately! What about yours? Happy to report the home church we are helping to start had it's first service last week and God blew us away...but, He always does when you are submitted to Him. Thank You, Jesus for such an opportunity. Normally today I would be ministering but I have the day off and I am so glad to get around to blogging! YAY!

In our first post about Passion and Purpose we asked some questions. We started to break down Psalm 46:10 and learned striving is truly the "s" word:) Briefly, we discussed how God desires us to be His friends and lovers, not just servants. It is from our relationship with Him that we serve from the overflow. If you haven't read the first post, I suggest you start there, because these posts are building upon each other.

Today we are going to take a look at what drives us to strive. I say "a look" because I can't begin to cover the roots of striving completely. I can only really share from what I have personally experienced.

As I said in the previous post, striving denotes a "doing" mentality. When we put our focus on "doing" instead of His presence, we fall into the Martha trap. If you are unfamiliar with the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible I suggest you read Luke 10:38-42. I recently heard a pastor say if you are in a Martha season, by all means, get out! Jesus rebuked Martha twice!

I once was Martha. When I hosted a gathering at my home perfection was the goal, details reigned supreme and I would bit your head off (just ask my husband and children) if you walked through the kitchen. Instead of focusing on creating an atmosphere of love for my guests I created one of tension and stress. As Jesus said to Martha, "Martha, Martha, you are worried about and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her."

Pastor Bill Johnson teaches on the importance of not putting principles over the presence (of God.) Principles are good and necessary for order, but shouldn't take precedence over hosting the presence of God. It's in the presence of God where people are touched, transformed, healed and loved!

So, what might gear a person toward being a Martha instead of a Mary, toward striving instead of serving from overflow? For me it was driven out of a need to please and perform for the approval of others. I had to be the best at what I did...sadly, it didn't matter how much collateral damage there was in the process. Needing approval of others is just the surface of what fuels this kind of behavior. Unworthiness is a nasty beast driving this "striving" and "doing" mentality as well. Maybe if I do my best I can be worthy of love and acceptance. This is placing our value in what we do, not who we are in Christ.

God loves you for you. Period. When we try to "work" for His approval we are in essence saying His grace wasn't enough for us....and how prideful is that?!? Do you think what Jesus did on the cross was enough? The deceiver works overtime to keep us believing the lie we are unworthy. What I am about to say is strong and I don't say it to condemn...but really, when we say we aren't worth the sacrifice Christ made we are calling Him a liar...because, Beloved, He said you were worthy enough for Him to die for. Is your sin so bad that He needs to go back onto the cross and suffer it all again? Of course not....so, why do we live with a cloud of shame and unworthiness? Hopefully we can shed some light on this topic in the future.

Perhaps you have struggled with unworthiness (I haven't met anyone who hasn't at one time, me included.) When we are shrouded in a cloud of unworthiness we believe He couldn't possibly want to spend time with us....so we neglect spending time with Him and our hearts become empty...then we take our empty hearts and try to "serve" Him...which is the pre-cursor to ministry burn out. Which is where we will pick up next time!

In the meantime might I encourage you to seek the Lord if you struggle with the ungodly belief you are unworthy. If you find value in what you do, instead of who Christ's makes you, ask Jesus where the ungodly root is. Start with this prayer or something like it:

"Father God, You created me for relationship with You. To be in Your presence and to serve from a place of presence. I have struggled with striving and have tried to earn Your grace. I confess I have believed the lie I was not worthy and denied Your gift of grace and the work of the cross. Jesus, Your blood makes me worthy. I receive Your robe of righteousness. Father, help me. Show me areas in my heart where there are lies I am believing about how You feel about me. I want to receive everything You have for me. I want to walk in FREEDOM and JOY and serve from the OVERFLOW of my relationship with YOU! Thank You, Papa, You give me only good gifts. Thank You for Your grace. I love You!"

Now turn your eyes toward heaven....listen....He is going to talk to your spirit. Write it down and meditate on what He reveals to you.

Serving from a heart of overflow, hosting His presence which brings the kingdom of heaven to earth makes MY SOUL SING! Lalalalalala, can you hear it singing? Yours can sing too!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings please become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

White as Snow, or Grey as Sludge?

I promise to return to the series I started last week. Writing conditions for me are not the best when I have people (aka my children) running in and out from playing in the snow. It usually takes me several focused, uninterrupted hours to knock out a blog post with references, etc.

As I have been stuck in the snow the last three days I have thought about the significance of snow. Many friends on Facebook have made references to the verses in scripture that speak of how Jesus washed us white as snow. I have heard references to how everyone's home and landscaping looks good under a blanket of white, fluffy snow. The snow does have a way of "leveling" the playing field. It doesn't matter what is underneath, it all looks beautiful under the pureness of white.

I always want to get up the morning after a nightime snowfall and see the roads, yards, trees, etc. covered in snow, before any activity occurs outside. Anyone else do this? Once those first shoe prints and tire tracks get made it's not the same.

So here we are late into day three of our "blizzard." Plenty of shoe prints surround my house where the girls have been playing. The roads are covered in slush, with a thin, but dangerous layer of ice underneath. Which got me to thinking...once the roads are sanded or salted, the sand/salt mixes in with oil from cars and other road debris and it creates this grey looking slush on the sides of the roads...kind of like our lives as Christians...

When we accept Jesus as our Savior His blood washed away our sins, nothing can change the fact, we are forgiven and we are sealed...but, this doesn't mean we live a perfect life, without flaws, bumps, stains...the "slush on the side of the road" so to speak.

Now, in a couple of more days the sun is going to come out and the temperatures are going to rise and this beautiful white snow will be history, until the next one. This is the question I want to pose to you. Have you allowed the "slush" of life to mix in and eventually take over the covering of Christ's blood over you? Please hear me, nothing and nobody can take away the covering of the blood of Christ, but, you can certainly live like it is gone.

There have been many times in my life when I felt less than pure, less than clean and less than covered. I allowed lies to dictate who I was and how I lived my life...the "slush" took over my thought life and the last way I saw myself was as "white as snow."

I want to encourage anyone who feels life, bad choices, sin, lies, or circumstances have overshadowed the truth "though your sins be as scarlet, you are made white as snow" there is no better time than right here, right now to allow the blood of Jesus to wash over you again...covered and beautiful in the eyes of God! He sees us ALL THE SAME AND WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND PURE IN HIS EYES! Thank You, Daddy! Woo-Hoo, this makes My Soul Sing!

Passionate about Purpose

Remember those old time arcade games? My aunt and uncle had one in their basement when I was a child. You would pull back on the lever, let go quickly and watch the metal ball be propelled up the chute and back down as gravity pulled it, hitting sensors as it went, full of accompanying sounds and lights as you pushed the button which flipped the bars trying to prevent the ball from going into the gutter. That pretty much describes what is going on in my head right now with this post...so many directions it could go, so many holes it could fall into, some scoring more points then others...Excuse me a moment while the ball lands at its destination...Holy Spirit come, wisdom and revelation come. Okay, here we go....

This will be a series, not sure how many posts. I have much to say on the topic and I don't want to overwhelm you. Let's start with taking an inventory on where you stand on the subject of purpose by asking a few questions:

1. What were you created for?

2. Do you feel you are walking in what you were created for?

3. Do you struggle with feeling like there should be something more to life?

4. Do you feel incomplete?

5. Are you frustrated or confused in the area of purpose or calling?

6. Are you, or have you, felt burnout in the area of ministry or Christian service?

7. Do you say "yes" to things out of a sense of obligation?

8. Do you find identity in what you do? In other words, does "doing" make you feel significant or valuable?

There was a time when looking at these questions would have made me feel hopeless. My answers would have been:

1. I have no idea

2. No, obviously, since I have no idea.

3. Yes, all the time.

4. Are we allowed to feel complete?

5. Yes and Yes

6. YES!!!

7. YES and guilty when I had the guts to say no.

8. Identity? What the heck is identity?

Like the majority of the body of Christ, I believed I was made to serve. I mean, after all, this great big God sent His one and only Son to die for me, a wormy wretch, shouldn't I spend the rest of my life serving Him? If this is where your thoughts end on the subject, you may have been missing out on the greatest relationship of your life. If you have accepted the lesser of your identity as "servant"as the end of the line you have been missing out on the opportunity to walk in the greater part of your identity as "friend" and "lover." I will attempt to show you in this series how we can be all three; servant, friend and lover.

Let's take a look at Psalm 46:10 in the NASB version:

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

You may be more familiar with the version that begins with "be still," but I want to talk about "striving" before we talk about "being."

Let's define the word strive: To exert much effort or energy. To struggle, to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict. To rival, vie.

In the ministry where I am on staff, strive is the "s" word. Striving denotes a "doing" mentality. In our relationship with the Lord it is not about doing, but being. Doing denotes a theology full of works. Grace is unmerited favor, a gift. Grace can not be earned. Salvation is also a gift, it can not be bought, earned or paid back. It has been my observation although a denomination believes salvation is a gift from God, not of works, many live their lives in contradiction to this truth by "striving."

When it comes to our relationship with the Lord it should be from desire we pursue more intimacy with Him, not so we can meet a quota of Bible reading, prayer and study. When we come to understand how crazy in love with us He is, we WANT to spend time with Him. Time with Him becomes a priority, not a duty. Religion has taught us time with Him is routine, mundane and mechanical. Why have we made relationship with Him something different then what He designed it to be?

Other translations of Psalm 46:10 begin with "be still." Read it like this: Be. Be still. Be still and know. Be still and know that I am God.

I want to propose to you the concept of resting in the Lord. I heard a speaker this past Sunday say, "It's out of rest you wear the enemy out." The enemy is most intimidated, most frustrated and most defeated when we REST in our God given identity...when we KNOW who we are in Christ we are scary to Satan...we can REST in the finished work of the cross KNOWING His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

Here are some things we will address in future posts in this series: What drives us to strive. The cure for ministry burnout. What is our purpose. Expose lies the enemy wants us to believe about serving God. How to deepen your walk with God and become a friend and lover, not merely a servant. How to serve from the overflow of relationship. We will discuss what it means to "know God" as we continue to look at Psalm 46:10. Wow, this is the list I have made so far...who knows where the Spirit will lead. It will be exciting! I hope you join me on the journey!

Knowing my purpose has liberated me in ways I can't express in words. Leading others in discovering their purposes makes MY SOUL SING!

I Don't Know

The other day I was having a conversation with someone who had question after question. They were expecting me to give them answers and quite honestly I didn't have many. My response was repeatedly, "I don't know."

A few days later I had some questions of my own. Frustration began to loom over me and I directed my question(s) to God. What I heard back from Him was simply, "Amy, you don't have to have all the answers."

When I first heard His reply I thought to myself, "ok, great, God says I don't have to have all the answers, now what?" The frustration lifted, but it took a few days for the freedom to come.

I am a huge proponent of self talk, so over the course of the next week I repeatedly said over myself, "Amy, you don't have to have all the answers." The more I said it, the better it sounded and the more freedom it released.

Yesterday, a sweet friend called and wanted to meet for lunch. She was facing some decisions and was somewhat confused about what direction to take. As I was preparing to go meet with her I was talking with Jesus. I told Jesus I was concerned that I didn't have any answers to give her, in fact I only had more questions.

Jesus gently responded to me, "Amy, you don't have to have all the answers." He then went on to reveal to me how the best teachers are not those who lay out all the facts and tell you what conclusion to come to, but rather those who lay out the material and then pose questions to you by which you are led to the answers through discovery.

Before leaving to go to lunch I jumped onto my Facebook to post this as my status: "You don't have to have all the answers. God gave me this word several days ago and I realized this morning it was not just for me, but to be shared."

It never made it to my status, because I heard Holy Spirit say I needed to share this word through a blog post....so here we are.

As we prepare to enter into a new year I am sure each of you have questions of your own. It is my prayer for myself and for each one reading this that 2011 would be a year of learning to trust God more, following His leading and laying on His chest when things look uncertain or a little scary.

Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Our Papa God has ALL the answers and He is waiting for us to come to Him....He wants to reveal His secrets to you and to me. Knowing it is my Abba Daddy's desire to share His heart intimately with me makes my soul sing!

I want to leave you with a song by Kristene Mueller (DiMarco) Happy New Year to each of you, my friends and blog family!