Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mediocre to Magnificent Part One

If you haven’t read the previous post, take a minute and do so...it will make this one more meaningful.

I can not tell you the day, not even the month or year I realized our marriage had changed. I don’t even remember the circumstances that brought it to my attention. One day I was simply watching my husband and thought to myself, “dang, he’s mine and he’s awesome. I can’t imagine being married to anyone else.”

Shortly after this revelation I was spending some time talking with Jesus when I heard Him speak to my heart, “Amy, I have taken your marriage from mediocre to magnificent.” I couldn’t have put it any other way!

Before we go any further let’s take a trip down Amy and Russell’s memory lane. We don’t have to go all the way to the beginning. Our early years were good, self-centered, but no major roadblocks. We were young and blissfully unaware of life’s trials. It wouldn’t be until shortly after the birth of our second daughter that are marriage vows would be put to the test, in the area of “in sickness and in health.”

Statistically speaking the odds are in our favor. Both sets of parents are still married. Divorce is never something we have ever even flippantly discussed. We both came from the mentality we would be married for life...now, that’s not to say we were going down a road to a life of bliss. In hindsight I can see now it was quite the opposite. We were headed in the direction of co-existing.

I can remember sitting outside at a friend’s house, crying and pouring out my heart to her about our marriage. I didn’t feel we communicated, much less connected on an intimate level. My words to her basically summed up our relationship as roommates, occupying the same space, but not walking in the fullness of covenant God designed marriage to be.

If we had stayed on this path we would be the couple sitting across the dinner table from each other after the girls are grown and gone with absolutely nothing to say. Have you heard of empty nesters who realized a little too late they invested so much time and focus in their children’s lives and not enough in their marriage that when the kids were gone they no longer knew their mate, much less shared any dreams with them? I knew I didn’t want to be that kind of couple, so I set out to do something about it. This is when I realized I had to work on me.

Eventually I decided I wanted more in my relationship with God. I realized I didn’t know God as a loving Father, whom I could intimately know. Somewhere in this timeline God became my number one priority. Although I accepted Christ as my Savior at age six, I really didn’t begin a life changing walk with Him until I was about 31.

Looking back now, this is where my journey began, which brings me to the previous blog post and revelation I am only responsible for me. Let me repeat that, I AM ONLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ME. This is a foundational truth and it applies to you too. You are only responsible for YOU! Get this and you will be on your way to immeasurable freedom. By walking in this truth you will also remove yourself from being an obstacle in the way of God moving in the lives of those you love. He will allow you to play Holy Spirit in the lives of others as long as you choose to do so, but He is waiting for the day you give the job back to Him:)

God started addressing my “junk in the trunk” (and I don’t mean my back side, although there is certainly some junk there too:), no this junk was from the past and it was standing in the way of me fully realizing who I was in Christ. I knew my name, but I didn’t know who I was. As He began to reveal to me my identity I couldn’t get enough of Him. I searched, I prayed, I surrendered and beautiful things started taking place in my heart...and then one day I noticed they were also taking place in my hubby’s heart as well...and I had NOTHING to do with it, other than the fact I had let go of him and placed him in God’s capable keeping!

Transformed lives, transformed thinking and a transformed marriage...in part two of “Mediocre to Magnificent” I will share with you the relationship I now have with my sweet Russell. I don’t share it to brag or boast, but to impart hope to those reading our story...and maybe give you the courage to let go and let God and watch Him bring renewal, restoration and (faithful readers, you probably can guess what comes next) REDEMPTION!

Marriage can be and should be a reflection of how Christ loves the body, His bride...it can be magnificent and this is why my soul sings!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

First, a little background

As I was taking a shower this morning I received divine inspiration for a blog post. Yes, in the shower, He actually talks to me quite a bit during showers or baths...maybe it's because I am a captive audience, not much multi-tasking can be done while bathing:) I also like to think it's symbolic of Him raining down on me, perhaps washing over me and cleansing me of my thoughts and replacing them with His...call it whatever you wish, I love these moments where it's just Him and me!

Before I write the new posts He gave me, I think it's appropriate to share the article below I wrote a couple of years ago. He reminded me in our "shower time" it all began when I realized the role of Holy Spirit was filled, and in this particular case, in my husband's life:)

The article you are about to read was first posted to www.iggm.org, it can be found under articles of interest. I have revised it somewhat to fit the blog, however, the content has remained the same...which I find ironic, because usually when I look back on something I wrote I see how I've grown and after more revelation I would write something differently...but, nope, not in this one!

I pray this post speaks to you.

Oh, and just to spark your interest in the upcoming posts, the title will be "Mediocre to Magnificent." It will most likely be a two part series and the subject is marriage...although it will not exclude those who are single, as these principles can be applied to other relationships!


Without further rambling, the article which chronicles where it all began for me...



Ungodly Belief: I am responsible for my husband’s spiritual growth.

What did I just say? Did I really just write that statement for all creation to read?

Let me clarify one thing right here at the beginning. If two years ago you had asked me if the above statement was true I would have looked at you like you were one noodle short of a full bowl of spaghetti! But, (isn’t there always a “but?”) I sure was acting like his spiritual maturity was my responsibility.

How? Surely none of you God fearing, Proverbs 31 women out there can relate! Oh please!

Have you ever questioned your husband’s prayer life or lack thereof? Have you ever tried to hook him up with an older, wiser, more spiritually mature man as an “accountability” partner? Have you ever tried to get him to worship the way you think he should worship? After you have encountered or experienced God in a new way do you expect him to jump on board with you as if he had the same experience (even though he did not?)

Was there ever a season of your life where you have been the spiritual head of the house and you have subtly hinted, begged or groveled for him to take up that yoke? Then maybe the time came, Praise God, where he took his proper role as spiritual head and then you questioned how he went about things? Perhaps, you gave him an outline of what you expected of him in that role?

Okay, before you start sending my husband condolences in the mail, please know I have not done all of the above...only a few of them! After all, the outline was in my head, I never actually typed it out and printed it! (Insert evil laugh here)

Have you ever prayed a prayer something like this? “Dear Heavenly Father, I bring before you today my husband, bless his wretched soul, forgive his sins and wash him clean. Please mold him into a better husband, a more dedicated father, make him see he needs to be the spiritual head of our house. Convict him Lord! Convict him of neglecting me and the children. Convict him of his lack of prayer and study of your Word. Convict him to get into a small group of men who will disciple him and hold him accountable. Send men into his life to be an example of what a Godly man looks like.” I think you get the idea...

While not all of this prayer is wrong, it isn’t exactly what the Lord has in mind. Yes, it’s probably exaggerated slightly, or is it? I’ve prayed similar “I want” prayers in regard to my husband. Basically, change him prayers. What about change me prayers? Ouch! There it is, another confession of mine. Yes, I was praying for the Lord to do all the things I thought He needed to do in my husband in order to be on track to a more spiritual family.

When the Holy Spirit revealed this to me I had to change my thinking and come into alignment with the Father’s will. You see I had been praying from my flesh. Praying from the flesh, or old nature as we often refer to it, is a topic all to itself. In short, praying from our flesh is useless. When we pray it should come from a direct download from Father God. Praying the Father’s will is the only effective way to pray. (And, I will add here, our spiritual growth is always in the Father's will.)

The Lord asked me, “who are you responsible for?” I knew the answer was me. It was then I started asking the Lord to reveal to me what needed changing in my heart. The prayer went something like this: “Dear Papa, Thank you for loving me so much that you can’t leave me the way I am. I want to share your heartbeat. Dig up and get out the dirt, sin and shame in my heart. Reveal to me your perfect plan for me. Bust open the lies I have believed and replace them with Your truth. Mold me into the wife, mother and daughter you designed me to be. Let Your light shine through me so words won’t be necessary. I want to hear Your voice more clearly. I want to fall in love with Your Word. Place an unquenchable desire in my heart for more of You and less of me. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.”

My daily prayer for my husband simply is this, “Bless him Lord and show him Your favor.” I do pray other ways for my husband, but no longer do I pray “change him” prayers, where I give the Lord a list of my wants. Because really the truth is this, the Lord loves my husband more than I can possibly imagine. He has plans to prosper him and give him hope for his future (Jer. 29:11). The reality is this, if your husband is a believer the role of Holy Spirit is filled (well, it's filled even if he is an unbeliever too.) There are no vacancies in that department...so GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Since I stopped praying change him prayers and I relinquished the role of Holy Spirit (I was failing miserably anyway) I have seen a dramatic change in my husband. He is in an accountability group. One he sought out, not one I picked for him. They meet once a week for Bible study, prayer and encouragement. He has taken on the role of spiritual head. I am expectantly waiting for more and I know my Papa is not going to disappoint me.

I have talked with ladies whose husbands have taken up the spiritual headship and they are left resentful. They wanted it to happen, but when it finally did, they didn’t know how to respond. They were so accustomed to the role and they felt stripped of something. If that is you, I would urge you to seek Godly counsel. These feelings are rooted in something deeper. Maybe you found your identity in filling this role God created your husband to fill. It’s time to replace that false identity with truth. God has a very special role for you to fill as a women and a wife. I encourage you to discover it and reach fulfillment like you never thought possible!

Original article ends here...

Check back soon and see how God can redeem your marriage and take it from mediocre to magnificent! Warning: IT WILL TAKE EFFORT ON YOUR PART AND DYING TO SELF...if you are looking for a quick fix, this is NOT it!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

God is always GOOD!

Psalm 63:4, "I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands."

I hope I never tire of proclaiming the goodness of God! As I sit here at the computer to write this post I realize this is a subject I write about often. Focus, priorities, God's goodness, His redemption, His love, living with Him in the abiding place...no matter how you slice or dice it, this is the theme of My Soul Sings.

As I sat down at the computer to type this post I asked God a question. "Why is it You always seem to have me write about Your goodness, focusing on Your redemptive nature?" His reply to me went something like this, "because the world needs to know. They need to know about My goodness. They need to know I am utterly redemptive. They need to know how much I love them. They need to be constantly reminded to keep their eyes on me. Amy, dear, you need to know too."

Don't you just love it when He is right? And, by the way, He is always right!

In a world full of crisis, chaos and sin we need to be reminded, as believers, this should not be our focus. Remember we are in the world, not of it. It should not consume us. Christ left us with the gift of the Holy Spirit and His resurrection power flows through our veins. As believers we hold the solutions to many of the world's problems...but, we can't effectively impact the world if our eyes aren't on Him. If we continue to focus on the negative we will empower it all the more.

Father God isn't sitting high above worried about the state of the world. Quite the contrary, He is waiting for His body to come to Him and ask Him what His solutions are. He isn't wringing His hands hoping His children make the right choices and then writhing in despair when they don't.

The statement I'm about to make is a topic many would like to debate. I am not here to debate it, nor defend it...I merely want to share it with you. I believe the wrath of God was fully poured out onto Christ on the cross. Like the song lyric says, "the wrath of God was satisfied." We won't see the wrath of God again until He pours it out as described in Revelation 6:16.

Amy, are you saying the natural disasters, torment and destruction we are seeing in the world today isn't the wrath of God punishing us for our sinful living? YES, that is exactly what I am saying. Do I believe God could stop them? Yes, I do...but just because He doesn't stop them, doesn't mean they are sent by His hand. Our charge as believers is to humble ourselves and pray as outlined for us in II Chronicles 7:14.

I don't want to camp on this subject, I think to do so would get us into a theological debate in which I am not educated enough to enter. Also, it would be a major bunny trail from the truth I wish to impart through this post. I will say I think believers get stuck on defending their theology to the point it can take our focus off the main thing...sharing the love of Christ with others and empowering people to walk in victory and relationship with the Creator.

I want to shift gears a little at this point. A friend of mine just this week got partial victory over a major storm in her life. All of us have storms, but this was of tsunami proportions. Many people are saying her life will never be the same. I agree with that statement.

Some even go on to say she will never get the pieces of her life back together again...implying her life is partially destroyed because of the devastation done from the "storm." I emphatically DISAGREE with this statement!

During the process I actually found myself believing her life was destroyed, no matter the outcome, that there were no winners. God gently showed me this belief was wrong and was not at all how I should be thinking as a believer in Christ. To believe her life is beyond the restoration and redemption of Christ is like saying there are some issues beyond His power! Remember Satan is not the equal opposite of God. God is absolute! By believing this statement in essence it's like saying this scheme of the enemy is bigger than God...and that, my friends, is absolutely preposterous!

Now...I'm not saying she doesn't have a battle ahead of her. She will be constantly faced with choices. I hope and pray she keeps her eyes on Christ. He has promised to work things together for our good, but our responsibility in this is to look to Him and follow His ways. We must trust Him and surrender to Him.

Let me try to wrap this up and bring it together for application for you and me in our every day lives:)

As believers we have storms. We have problems. We have trials. But, we also have choices. We are given the free will to run to Jesus or run from Him. We have the choice to keep our eyes on Him, or take them off and try to do things our way. We can out rationalize our faith and end up looking at situations with natural eyes as the world does...I've tried this, have you? It leads to discouragement, despair and ultimately, a victim mentality.

Without going into my friend's storm I just want to say I am encouraged by it. Watching it all play out in front of me and the hearing the testimony on this end is amazing. It has definitely increased my faith.

God is true to His promises! I invite you to search your heart and ask yourself what area do you need Him to fulfill His promises to you? Have you taken your eyes off Him? Have you empowered a lie in your situation? Do you believe the wrath of God is being poured out on you...if so, you may want to re-evaluate your thinking and ask Him for an encounter with His love.

I promise you He is not out to "punish" you. Jesus fulfilled the need for punishment. He said on the cross, "it is finished" that was for you and for me...our sins are covered by the blood of Jesus...we don't have to make atonement for them! This, my friends, is the gospel of Christ!

Father God, I pray for each person reading this post. I ask You to encounter them each individually and personally. Wrap them in Your perfect peace, grace, love and mercy. May they know you not only in head knowledge, but in the heart. I thank You Papa for sending us Jesus. I thank You we don't have to make atonement for our sin. I thank You for desiring a relationship with us free from striving. I thank You that You are always good and loving toward all You have made. I repent Lord for areas in which I have made you smaller than my problems, than the world's problems. Show me Lord Your solutions so I may be a problem solver, not a problem maker or problem enabler. I praise You Lord for all You have done and all You are doing in my life. I will sing of Your love forever as long as I have breath! I love You, my Daddy! I thank you for making my soul sing! AMEN!