No tomatoes, oh my!

I went into my friendly Walmart store this afternoon where I visited the Subway.  As I approached the counter the dismayed young man working said, "I just have to tell you, we are out of tomatoes!"  He said it with an air of defense like I was going to hold him personally accountable.  

The lady in front of me was joking with him about how this was a grocery store and why couldn't they just go get some tomatoes from the produce department.  She was teasing him, but by his response I could tell he was in no mood for folly. 

I joined in the lighthearted conversation and she said, "we are nice customers, we're just giving you a hard time."  He replied, "yeah, not everybody is nice and I don't have no respect for those that disrespect me."  He went on ranting about how he doesn't get paid enough to do this job and get disrespected by customers. 

I know enough about hurting people (due to the fact I once was one and I minister to wounded people on a weekly basis) to know with his current attitude he will never rise above "working for the man" for a meager hourly wage.  But I didn't allow this to stop me from taking advantage of the opportunity to love him unconditionally. 

Everyone has a story and I certainly don't know his...I just know he is discouraged and by what he was saying, deeply wounded...people are talking, are we really listening?  If we listen the Lord will allow us to see into their heart beyond the gruff exterior and into the areas of hurt.

Before you go imagining me pulling out my KJV pocket Bible and a couple of evangelistic tracks, think again.  Evangelism is NOT one of my spiritual gifts...in fact, on every spiritual gift assessment/test I have taken I score the lowest in evangelism.  I'm not saying this kind of witnessing is wrong, it's just not my style.  I just was drawn to show this boy the love of Jesus through kind actions and words...not preach to him about his lack luster attitude. 


In the end it's the love of Jesus that draws people to the Father.  In fact, I didn't even mention Jesus in our conversation.  But I know he encountered the love of Jesus through me.  I had spent the morning talking to Jesus, worshiping Jesus and basking in His presence....yes, I was having a grand day and; therefore, I was able to give away some of my joy from the overflow in my heart.  I was living from heaven to earth and so I was not effected by his mood or attitude.

He remarked, "not everybody is as understanding as you about the tomatoes."  I replied, "it isn't your fault the store is out of tomatoes.  I believe if we want to receive respect we must first give it away, it truly comes back to us."  Now I could have told him about the Biblical law of sowing and reaping...but fortunately for him I left the preacher girl side of me at home:)

Friends, I hope you see where I'm going with this story.  It had nothing to do with tomatoes.  I would be willing to guess this boy has a rejection issue and when customers "go off" on him he takes it personally...thus the gruff exterior...I will hurt you before you hurt me thinking.

There is a quote I've seen several times recently, "be kind to everyone you meet, because everyone is going through some kind of battle."  I would say this is true.  Who knows what a kind word from us will do for those in the midst of a battle. 

He was incredibly slow at sandwich making might I add.  While I was waiting the delivery truck came and brought the tomatoes.  I was able to have my sub with tomatoes and he even added extra.  As I paid I said to him, "you are doing a great job, have a nice day."  Those words of encouragement cost me nothing, but who knows, they might have meant everything to him.

I love Proverbs 16:24, "Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."  Proverbs 18:21 is another favorite, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

I would like to be able to tell you I walk around releasing words of life everywhere I go, but sadly, that is not the case.  What was different about my trip to Subway today?  I was filled.  When we try to give and our hearts are empty or dry we usually don't make the mark because it is from our flesh.  You might get the best of Amy, but you don't get His best which is far superior to anything you will get from me.  When we are filled with the Spirit of God and our hearts and minds are set on Him giving away His presence comes naturally and without great effort because it comes from a place of overflow and abundance.

After reading this post some of you will be inspired to give more encouraging words.  That would be good, but you would be missing the more important point I feel the Lord is wanting me to share with you.  If you read this post and thought to yourself, "I need to spend more time being filled with His presence" than you win the golden ticket:) 

Spending time in His presence, being filled with His glory and then being able to release encouragement, joy and presence to others makes MY SOUL SING, it will make your soul sing too...give it a try!

Is There Anybody Out There?

Hmmm...the title sounds like a familiar lyric to a Pink Floyd song from my past...nevermind:)

You guys are out there,  I know you are!  But if I didn't have my handy dandy widget telling me you are there I would think this blog is nothing more than a publicized, but unread, journal.  And, by the way, I don't know who you are, I just know where you are...so you can still come here anonymously...I still welcome stalkers:)

Yes, I know my high school English teacher would be all over my grammar in this post and the fact I started a sentence with "and" and "but."  But ya know what, this is my blog and nobody is grading my grammar...woo-hoo...that's a relief, being an adult sure is fun!

Wow, I'm feeling quite random...back to the subject.  I had come to accept that feedback around here was going to be almost non-existent until a couple of my peeps said they have tried to comment, but the process is confusing.  So me, and all my technological talents (if you know me you know such talents don't exist) set out to give you a tutorial on how to comment...please don't tell my technologically genius husband who writes complex computer programs and laughs at my inability to figure out Outlook!  Don't worry I'll be sure to tell him myself, because I like to see him have a good laugh at my expense, because after all laughter is good medicine (the Bible tells me so!)

Now, the real reason for this post.  I want to hear from you!  How are you doing?  What have you found helpful or encouraging?  If you have a google account when you go to comment you simply click "google" than follow the instructions.  If you don't have a google account I came up with two other options that worked for me when I signed in as my hubby.  You can either comment anonymously and sign your name if you want me to know who you are; or you can click on the Name/URL button and type in your name.  I tested this and it didn't require me to put in an URL, whatever the heck that is.

So, if you are reading this and want to humor me, send me a comment!  Even if you don't normally comment (I've been reading blogs for years and have commented less than 10 times) I would love for you to send me a few tests, so that I know my tutorial was helpful...because we know at the very least it was entertaining to hear me ramble:)

Please note I do have comment moderation enabled, so your comments will come to me for approval before they appear on the blog. I promise not to censor anything unless it is offensive or inappropriate.



Oh, and also, become a follower of My Soul Sings...if you want to of course...absolutely NO PRESSURE!

If you've stuck with me this far into this post you are a true peep!  I pray a blessing over you for your time and patience.  May Papa God reveal Himself in a new way to you today.  May you feel His love wrapping around you like a warm blanket.  He is rejoicing over you with singing, may you hear His song in your heart! 

Bluff or Show My Hand

This could be considered a follow up to our parenting series . If you haven't read the parenting series click the link above and I suggest you start there.

In short review of Loving on Purpose (LOP) remember love casts out all fear (I John 4:18.) In LOP we looked at Biblical parenting principles and parenting like Father God. We learned not to parent from control, but with the goal of teaching our children to manage their freedom. We learned not to fear our children's sin. Fearing their sin will lead us to control them, thus producing in them either fear or rebellion, which later in life will lead them to use control as a means of protection (it's a cycle.)

We learned to build a relationship with our children in which we protect each other's hearts. Ultimately it is from this relationship our children will learn to make wise choices and how to respond when their choices aren't so wise. Remember it is His kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4.) True repentance is not admitting our sin because we got caught or because we fear punishment. Repentance is brought about by conviction from the Holy Spirit where we confess and turn from the sin, allowing Him to empower us to walk in victory over it.

So now we have refreshed our memories on the basic concept let me introduce you to another facet the Holy Spirit revealed to me (through a recent life experience.) Light exposes all darkness. Just as fear and love can not inhabit the same space, light and darkness can not co-exist. Which is stronger? I hope you said light:)

Scripture is full of references to light and darkness. Jesus himself says "I am the light of the world;, he who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." (John 8:12) I love I Peter 2:9 which says we have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Satan is described in John 8:44 as the father of lies, when he speaks he is lying...ALWAYS! Satan is always aligned with the kingdom of darkness. Jesus is always aligned with the kingdom of light...never are there any exceptions! As followers of Christ, which kingdom should we align with? LIGHT!!!! When the Lord reveals an area in our heart not in alignment with His we are to repent and confess it as sin, thus breaking agreement with the enemy and realigning ourselves with God's truth.

Back to my story...I was recently faced with a decision. I could either show my hand (for all you card players out there) or I could try to "bluff" and get my daughter to show me hers. While I was pondering the situation, praying and asking for wisdom I clearly heard the Lord say, "show your hand." How did I know this was God's voice and not my own or the enemy's? Simple...this statement aligns with the truth of His Word. All throughout scripture we are shown how God's light reveals things hidden in darkness. If I had chosen to "bluff" I knew I would be guilty of manipulation, which is just another form of control...the very thing I'm trying to avoid doing! NEVER, EVER, EVER do we see Jesus use control or manipulation in His ministry on earth...and remember He is the example we should follow.

My goal was to expose deeds done in darkness to the marvelous, saving and redemptive light of Jesus Christ. So, I was honest...real honest, shockingly honest. I shared my heart and revealed things hidden there not even my husband (before now) knew all the details about. You see the enemy wanted to keep what I shared in the darkness, where he could use it to bring me shame and guilt...but most importantly in this case to breed FEAR. Fear of my children making the same mistake. Once these details were exposed I felt a shift take place in my heart because carrying secrets is burdensome and heavy. Once exposed my heart felt lighter...remember what the enemy intended for your destruction God works together for good!

You might be wondering how this applies in the parenting department. In our 4th parenting post we discussed the issue of self-control and respect. As parents we model respect (or disrespect) to our children. They are watching us. We can not expect for them to exhibit more respect than what has been taught them through their observation of us. Same concept applies in our post today.

In the past I have modeled to my children control, fear, manipulation and lying (to keep things from being exposed.) I have also modeled to them judgment, criticism and ungodly anger. We were reaping what was sown, rotten fruit and all.

BUT!!!!! The story doesn't end here. You should know me well enough by now to know my confessions are always followed with the story of God's redemption and restoration. He is faithful to His children! He repairs what has been broken. He restores what has deteriorated. He returns what has been stolen. It's nothing I earned or deserved by any self effort, only by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. It was a matter of listening to His instructions and following through in obedience. It took faith and trust, which I admit were hard for me. Everything in me wanted to resort back to ways that were familiar, but I knew they weren't in alignment with the kingdom of God and I had come too far to turn back now.

Is the process complete? No. Is it easy? No. Is it painful? Sometimes. Is it fruitful? You bet! Is it worth trusting Him? Absolutely! Is there satisfaction with knowing my obedience to God exposed the work of the enemy? DUH! Can I trust God to complete the work He has begun in my family? YES! And this is why MY SOUL SINGS!!!! Hallelujah!

Word Up

This post will be short and sweet! Betcha don't think I can do it, do ya? We are going to continue looking at some of my favorite scriptures in our "Word Up" series. I have decided (for now) I will go in order of the books of the Bible.



It doesn't matter what translation you read it in Genesis 3:21 pretty much says the same thing:

"The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."

Short verse, to the point and simple. Adam and Eve were naked and for the first time (because of the fall in the garden) this was a problem. Up until this point shame had not entered into the picture and they freely frolicked around in their birthday suits...how fun. In Genesis 3:10 we see Adam and Eve are afraid (because of their sin) and naked so they hid...enter in fear and shame...thanks guys, we really appreciate it.

Where am I going here? I love how God reveals His mercy in verse 21. HE CLOTHED THEM. This verse may be short and simple, but we see a part of God's character many times overlooked by those who want to paint a picture of God as angry, full of wrath and out to "zap" us. This verse shows the kindness of God and we are merely three chapters into the Bible!

How many times have you been "clothed" by God? I don't think I could begin to count the times His mercy and grace has clothed me...let's just say, it's a very high number!

So, today I am thankful and my soul sings because I serve a God who is merciful, kind and loving...and it's His kindness that leads me to repentance (see Romans 2:4.)

I'm Not Who I Was

This isn't a new post, but an article I wrote in December of 2008 for Growing in Grace Ministries website. I have several articles posted on GGM's website and you can read them by going here.

I've had recent conversations with friends who have known me for several years. One in particular met me at the lowest point of my life. She has watched me go from a bitter, empty woman to a Spirit filled, transformed, work of God. It was good talking with her about who I was and who I've become because I never want to take for granted who I am today and the grace of God to get me here. It was painful, cost me dearly and was not at all easy....BUT, it has been so worth every minute!

When women come to me wanting to know what I did to get "here" I share with them how I had to come before the Lord completely broken. For those looking for a quick fix, I'm sorry there is no such thing. Being healed and changed by Papa God takes time and it takes looking into your heart at things that are ugly. But if you allow Him to take you there I promise He does it so gently. You will never be the same once you've encountered the sweet love of Jesus. IT'S A LIFE LONG PROCESS and I'm still on the journey:) But once I started the process I realized I was to far into it to turn back to old ways...it simply was too costly to go back.

One thing I desperately need you to hear me say is this...I have not arrived, I am far from perfect, my transformation is on going. I only share my story in hopes of helping other women (or men) discover who they are in Christ. If my breakthrough can bring someone else into their breakthrough it is worth every minute of transparency to me. I believe it's my very purpose in life...or at the very least, my passion!

I'm Not Who I Was

originally published 12-08

Some recent events in my life have led me to ponder the concept of change. There is a song coming to mind by Christian artist Brandon Heath called "I'm Not Who I Was." If you get a chance you can listen to the song here.

Who was I ten years ago? I was a stay at home mom of a toddler and a newborn. I was a wife, daughter, a sister, a friend and a child of God who didn't know her identity in Christ. I was an occasional pew warmer. I was barely existing...and I didn't even realize it. Being created for a purpose never even crossed my mind. I was also wounded and you, my friend, at some point in your journey have experienced woundedness too...and what do wounded people do? They wound. I've been wounded, but I've also wounded...and so have you.

By this point you're thinking, "wait a minute! I come here for words of encouragement, not to be told I'm wounded and I wound!" I'm getting to that, just stay with me a little while.

It was recently revealed to me why a relationship in my past came to an abrupt end. I went several years without knowing what I had said or done to cause this friend to completely disconnect from me. When I found out what her reason was for ending the friendship I was devastated.

Without going into great detail, let's just say I was an extremely negative person. I didn't even know it, being negative was so much a part of my identity. Do you know anyone like that? They just aren't fun, are they? I loved, but my definition of love was so limited. I had religion, (which we've talked about before) but what I was missing was relationship. It's through relationship with Christ where we experience love, we in turn can give love. Simply put...you can't give what you don't possess.

In looking back we both wounded each other. I wounded her simply by reacting to life out of my pain. She, in turn, wounded me by rejecting and abadoning me. What's sad in this situation is she isn't open to reconciliation. I have tried, in the only way I can, to ask her forgiveness. Unless circumstances change she will never know this side of heaven I have changed. I'm not who I was.

Okay, so we've established we aren't the same. It doesn't matter if you go back 20 years, 10 years, 5 years, or 5 months chances are there have been changes and; hopefully, if you are living a surrendered life, they are changes for the better.

Consider II Corinthians 3:18, "And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." The King James uses the word changed instead of transformed. The text indicates it is a process of being transformed or changed, meaning it is ongoing.

There's a life lesson here...when isn't there?! In my state of pondering...hmmm...let's change that to processing, I was seeking the Lord. The wound had been reopened and it stung. I knew the Lord would bring about something good from this pain, if I would only give it to Him. Remember, it always requires action on our part. I cried out to Him (literally), "I don't want this, it's ugly and it hurts and your Son died on the cross for it. It's not mine! Take it!" He gently led me to repentance and forgiveness...again! His words to me were sweet comfort. He said, "Amy, Amy, Amy don't go back to that way of thinking. You've come too far to go back to old ways. I don't see you as a negative person. I've called you to be an encourager, to bring about restoration and healing to the broken hearted. I've made beauty from ashes and my gifts to you are irrevocable. I loved you far too much to leave you the way you were. Everything I've done for you is because I love you dearly."

I processed His words and more revelation came. You see when we are still and we listen, He speaks! Again He was gentle, not condemning. I imagine He had a smile on His face and a laugh in His voice when He asked me this, "How many people have you judged based on who they were 20, 10, or 5 years ago?" There's the ouch! You knew it was coming, didn't you?

I've recently started a Facebook. Those of you familiar with Facebook know it's a great networking tool. It enables you to connect with peers, friends, family and old classmates. As you build your network it will suggest friends you might know based on your current connections, school affiliations, etc. Within a few days high school classmates starting popping up on my "people you may know list." It's amazing at what you remember about people..."he was a drunk, she was popular, he was really nerdy, she was really quiet, he was fat, she was homely, he was a jock, and so on." What I had failed to consider was how people have changed...Papa God was merely pointing it out to me. Amy, you aren't the only one who has changed! DUH! I was looking at the list of names based on who they were eighteen (now twenty) years ago!

I'm not who I was! Can I get an AMEN? I bet most of us can humbly claim we aren't who we use to be. I am extremely grateful my Savior loves me so much He can't leave me where I was! I praise Him for training me to see people how He sees them. He sees beyond the pain, the bitterness, the wounds and negativity. He sees the person they can become! He sees the person His Son hung on the cross, bled, died and rose victoriously for! When we look at people through His eyes we are not only reminded of where we've been and how far we've come, but on their potential too! Maybe all they need to start their journey of transformation is a kind word from you.

I pray as you've read this the Holy Spirit has brought someone to your mind and reminded you they aren't who they were and neither are you!

END OF ORIGINAL ARTICLE

I share this post with you because it lays a foundation for future topics we will discuss on My Soul Sings. You can't fully understand who I am today, until you know where I've been. I'm not who I was and this certainly makes My Soul Sing!

Word Up

I get asked occasionally what my favorite scripture is. I have an awfully hard time narrowing it down to one! When I first began developing a thirst for the Word of God I quickly acquired many favorites. The more I study and grow in the knowledge of Him, the more verses get added to my ever multiplying favorites list. Instead of limiting myself to one or two I'm going to spend some time blogging about many of them. Not sure yet if this will form into a series or become a regularly featured topic. It will be fun to see which direction it will take!

I love using different translations of the Bible. On a daily basis I use the New International Version. I am finding I also really like the New American Standard, New Living and Amplified versions equally well. Of course it's always fun to read passages of scripture from The Message, which is known more as a paraphrase, than a translation.

I love it when a translation starts out a verse with the word beloved. My name means beloved...so it's extra meaningful to me. Of course I can attach "beloved" to the beginning of any verse and it would apply and you can too, because, as believers, we are all the beloved of Christ:) Sometimes I will insert my name in place of the pronoun used. I will do this especially if I am claiming a promise of God or declaring truth about my identity as a child of God.

Something else I developed the habit of doing several years ago is writing in my Bible a date beside a verse or passage when I have experienced it personally. When I encounter the living God through His Word I want to remember it. Not only do I enjoy looking back on these notes, I am leaving a legacy to future generations of my spiritual journey.

I hope by sharing my favorites you will be encouraged to dig into God's Word and discover your own treasures. Again I want to remind you my commentary on this blog is not doctrine...it's simply what I feel I have heard from the Lord. I am not a theologian. I think this is the third time I have said this and it won't be the last....allow Holy Spirit to be your Teacher!

We will begin this journey in the beginning...what a novel idea:)

Genesis 1:26-28 (NAS)

Then God said,"'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth." God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, " Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

This passage is full of meaning and significance, but I will share what speaks to me about them. First, notice God refers to Himself as Us meaning, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I love the fact the three in one God existed before time began, not just the Father. This blows my mind and I just can not comprehend it.

Second, we are told here for the first time we are made in the image of God! This verse and others like it were especially powerful to me when I was walking in self-rejection and low self-esteem. I did not like who I was and I really did not like my appearance. Then I realized I was made in the image of God. To say I was ugly was like saying He was ugly!

Third, this verse tells us we were given dominion over the earth and everything in it, even "every living thing that moves on the earth," not a coincidence because Satan would appear just two chapters later as a serpent.

Adam and Eve gave up their right to subdue the earth and rule with their choice in the garden...BUT Jesus came to earth and gave His life on the cross and by His sacrifice we were given dominion back!!!! Jesus gave us this authority in the great commission found in Matthew 28:16-20.

I often explain this authority to people when I am ministering to them. When someone seems to be continually struggling to walk in victory as a follower of Christ it usually indicates they have given authority to the enemy. The only power the enemy has over you is that which you give him! This doesn't mean we always knowingly give it to him. Through active and generational sin the enemy is given legal access to our lives. Another way we give the enemy authority is by believing lies. When we believe a lie we empower the enemy to work in our life. We have the power in the name of Jesus to shut these sin doors, replacing lies with truth and walk in a life of victory! All because of JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I can see this is probably going to take me awhile if I go into such details with each verse or passage:) Looking forward to sharing more of my favorites over the days, weeks...ahem, months ahead! Carrying the Sword of the Spirit (the Bible) in my heart absolutely, undeniably makes my soul sing!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

I thought with Valentine's Day coming up it would be applicable to write another post on LOVE. Everywhere I turn from my own personal quiet time with the Lord, to music, church and in conversations with others the Lord keeps highlighting a theme to me...LOVE. Not sappy teenage puppy love, but real love...the love of Christ. The kind of love that dies to self. The kind of love placing others first, no matter what they have or have not done to deserve it.

Jesus commands us to love in John 15:12, "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you." Now before you go thinking to yourself this is an impossibly tall order to fill, to love as Jesus does...remember if it were impossible He wouldn't have commanded it. But, like many issues I write about, to fulfill this commandment will require you to be in relationship with the Source of perfect love...Jesus.

The command to love one another as Christ loves us can NOT be done out of self-effort. Do I need to repeat that? I thought so. You can NOT love as Christ loves out of determination, will or self-effort. To love as Christ will require a secure relational connection between you and the One who is Love. Only when you truly accept the love of Christ will you be able to effectively love others with the same love.

I addressed this concept of love in several of my parenting posts. If you aren't a parent and you skipped over the parenting series you might want to give reading them a chance...yes, they are focused on parenting, but the skills taught in the Loving On Purpose model can be applied to any relationship...not just parent/child. You can start the series here. After you finish reading this post, of course:)

What is this love I keep referencing? It is beautifully defined in I Corinthians 13:4-8:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

I John 4:8 tells us God is love. So I want to take the above passage of scripture and replace the word "love" with God. I've done this before in an article I have written and it makes this passage come even more alive for me. It also reveals to us the true character of God.

"God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. God is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails."

There have been seasons in my life where I needed to hear one or more of these character traits of God. When I've walked through seasons of fear (which has been much of my life) I needed to hear and know God always protects. When sin in my life seems so great I feel it may swallow me whole and I don't feel worthy to be called a daughter of the King, I need to know He is not keeping a record of my wrongs. But out of all these revelations what I needed to know most is God is not easily angered. I had a wrong image of Father God for years. I saw Him as Abraham Lincoln's monument in Washington, DC...stone, hard, cold, frowning and unapproachable...like He was mad at me and everyone else for that matter. As I studied the scriptures and encountered Papa God for the first time I realized this image I had in my mind wasn't accurate at all. I hope to share these encounters with you soon.

I digress, shocking (picture sarcastic smile here)...by now you are probably getting use to my posts taking turns down rabbit trails:) So back to loving like Christ...

As I shared in one of the parenting posts I have been guilty of loving conditionally. I have loved when it's been convenient for me, when there's something for me in return...and I have withheld love when I'm angry at someone. This is not real love, certainly not how Christ loves us and is further evidence perfect love doesn't come from our strength. If you are reading this and are feeling conviction, Holy Spirit is speaking to you. Simply turn to the Father and repent, accept His sweet forgiveness and ask Him to show you how to love others unconditionally.

On the other hand, if you are reading this and are feeling condemnation, that is the voice of the enemy. Satan would like to keep you in a place of condemnation so you are paralyzed and not able to move forward in the way God wants. Take this lie captive, replace it with God's truth found in Romans 8:1. You have a choice...there were and are two trees in the garden...choose the tree of life.

If you have chosen the tree of life I have a challenge to pose to you. Purpose this week to love the unlovable...the person driving the car who cuts you off, your cranky toddler, your fussy newborn, your rebellious teenager, your wayward spouse, your emotionally abusive spouse, the father who left you and your mother when you were a child, the rude sales clerk, the person on the side of the street begging for money...I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

I believe LOVE is the most powerful weapon we have. Love displaces fear and allows the power of God to flow through people. I want to close with telling you of a movie called, "Furious Love." The director's purpose in making this film was to test the love of God. To take the love of God into the darkest areas of the world to see if it would prevail. I have seen this movie. I was left almost speechless afterwards. All I could say was "WOW, PRAISE GOD!"

If you are interested in seeing "Furious Love" the website has a list of locations where it's being shown. If you are in the Chattanooga area I can provide you with a venue here locally. To watch the preview click here.

Although the movie is about the powers of darkness, it's focus is not. The focus of "Furious Love" is the power of God to overcome the darkness.

Spiritual forces of evil are real (see Ephesians 6:10-20 and II Corinthians 10:3-6.) Keeping your head in the sand does nothing to advance the Kingdom of God here on earth. I have been clothed with the full armor of God and can love without fear and this is why my soul sings!

Link to Register for Workshop

Growing in Grace Ministries has provided online registration for you! Click here to be taken to the registration page.

We are working on getting paypal set up for payment, but until then you can mail your payment to the ministry center: Growing in Grace Ministries, 5959 Shallowford Rd, Suite 103, Chattanooga, TN 37421.

Checks should be made payable to GGM. Cost is $10/person which includes lunch.

To learn more about "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" I invite you to read my "Parenting and Loving Every Minute of It" series here on My Soul Sings. In six blog posts I take you through my journey to Loving on Purpose.

Those of you who have verbally told me you are attending still need to register online as well! I am super excited!!!! I am already praying for those who will be in attendance! Blessings on each of you:)

Parenting and Loving Every Minute of It! It's a WRAP!

Here we are at the end of our parenting series. I trust the Holy Spirit has taught you something:) As we journey through parenting the Lord promises to give us all the wisdom we need. We simply have to ask Him for it (James 1:5) Not just in parenting, but in life, He is the source of wisdom.

I am by no stretch of the imagination a parenting expert. I do not claim to have all the answers. I am much like the rest of you reading these posts...I was in search of something better, something healthier and something that would work. True to His nature God was there to answer my cries for help. I'd like to share two verses attesting to this truth.

Jeremiah 33:3 "Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

Matthew 7:8 "For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

God is certainly not hiding from us. He is not playing hard to get. He is waiting for us to come to Him. When I decided I couldn't parent without His divine aid I ran to Him and pleaded for help. I knew what we were doing was not working...I was tired, frustrated and wishing the days and months away. Just getting from one day to the next was my goal. I wasn't living an abundant life. There had to be a more excellent way. I desired to raise children who loved the Lord with all their hearts. Children who knew the love of the Father because it had been modeled to them through their earthly parents.

God heard my cries and I fully believe He led me to "Loving Our Kids on Purpose." When I first read the book about a year ago I knew it was something I wanted to share with others. So much so I went and spent almost $200 on books and the DVD teaching series. It wasn't until hearing Danny speak in person I fully grasped these principles and the fire from last year was re-kindled. I knew I couldn't keep this knowledge to myself...I had to share it with anyone who would listen (or in this case, read:)...from this passion "Parenting and Loving Every Minute of It" was birthed.

There are other areas I feel much more "equipped" to address, so to write a parenting series was definitely a leap of faith, a most humbling experience and act of God. I thank Him and praise Him for using me as His mouthpiece.

Where do we go from here? I can't answer for you, but I have shared through these posts what it has looked like for me. This past Monday my teenager was out of school, but my 10 year old was not. I was able to spend the day with Rachel, just the two of us. The Lord had told me I would need to eventually go to Rachel and ask for her forgiveness...then He provided the perfect opportunity to do so.

This was a tender and sacred moment for me, but I feel He is asking me to share it with you. I said, "Rachel, mom needs to talk with you a minute and it's really serious." She looked at me with wide eyes thinking she was in trouble...I had her attention so I simply said, "baby, I need to ask you to forgive me for all the ways I have misrepresented Jesus to you. I haven't always loved you the way you needed to be loved. I have lost my temper and yelled. I was afraid and tried to control you. This isn't Jesus. Jesus loves you so very much and is very patient with you. Will you forgive me for this? You probably have already seen things changing around our house. Things are going to continue to change. Jesus is showing us a better way. I love you very much and want only the best for you and your sister." She simply smiled at me and said, "I forgive you."

Even though I had started to implement LOKP methods I had yet to eat the big slice of humble pie I knew was necessary before proceeding further. I had apologized to both girls for particular incidences as they had occurred, but I hadn't swallowed the "big one." Repenting of past mistakes before the Lord and then before those you have hurt is a major step toward walking in an environment of honor. Ask the Lord to show you what this looks like for you...your experience will be different from mine.

I want to leave you with several questions to ponder.

• Are you scared of your children's sin? (Scared people want to have control.)
• Do you believe there is greatness in your children? Ask the Lord to show you how to call it to the surface.
• Is your parenting style reflective of heaven?
• Do your children see Jesus in you?

It is my prayer you have seen the redemptive side of Christ in my story and please know He desires to lavish you with the same redemption. There is nothing impossible for Him and through Him you can parent like Father God!

In closing let's read the famous scripture on love from I Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures though every circumstance." (NLT)

My Soul Sings because my God is love and through Him I can love on purpose!

Parenting and Loving Every Minute of It! Part Five

In the last post we learned how to use LOKP one liners. Danny Silk teaches many different methods in his book and in the DVD teaching series we will use in our workshop on March 20th. I am not going to cover all of them...again, I encourage you to either purchase the book and/or, if possible, attend the workshop. The workshop will be invaluable in explaining these new parenting methods by using real life illustrations. Again, my blog posts are just highlights from the tools taught in the many LOKP resources. To see the LOKP language illustrated in comic strip style click here . Exploring these resources will strengthen your understanding of the loving on purpose method.

I do want to highlight one more LOKP technique before wrapping up this series. This technique is called "Fun or Room." Fun or Room takes the concept of time out to a whole new level. Fun or Room is saying to your child, "I require something from you in the relationship."

In my opinion, "Fun or Room" works well with toddlers through early elementary(although I successfully used it when my daughter was 9.) It teaches the child there are requirements and needs of others to consider in relationship. It also teaches self-control. In other words, it is not all about them...this will be a shocking discovery for them, I know:)

Let's set up the scene: Your toddler is not happy and begins to throw a fit, complete with loud shrills to thunderous roars of rage. They plop themselves down on the floor and refuse to budge, Cheerio spittle coming from their mouth...they are mad and they want their way! As a parent you can either concede to their demands, lose your temper or spank their bottoms until they burn (producing more shrills) or you can peacefully put them in their room until they can be "fun to be with."

The last option allows them time to consider the consequences of their behavior, gives them a choice and your blood pressure remains at a healthy level:) Win, win for all. How do we implement "fun or room?"

• Child: Throwing tantrum
• Parent: "Fun or room?" If the child continues to scream you take this as their decision and tell them to go to their room and remain there until they can be "fun to be with."
• Child: Refuses to go to room of their own accord.
• Parent: Pick up child and place them in their room. If the child comes out, put them back in, explaining each time (in a calm voice) they can come out when they are ready to be "fun to be with."

If you consistently apply this method your child (because they are little geniuses) will realize it is much better to be "fun" than to spend time alone in their room. They will also see their choice in the situation. Danny gives testimony of children deciding for themselves they need "room time," placing themselves in their room until they can maintain self-control.

I love this method and have used it a couple of times with my younger daughter. After giving her the choice of "fun" or "room" she has chosen room. While she went to her room to work out her emotions, I was able to maintain peace and go about my day without entering into a debate contest with her. Just in case you haven't realized it yet, reasoning with children does NOT work! Presenting your case like an attorney, no matter how airtight it is, will NOT work with your child! Trust me, I've tried it:)

When your child decides they are ready to be fun, they are able to rejoin the family without mention of their earlier behavior. "Fun or room" is just another way of teaching them responsibility for their behavior and presenting them with choices which empower them to succeed both now and later in life.

Now, on to the subject of SPANKING! How many of you would admit this has been the question on your mind from the beginning of this series? I will admit when I read the book it was at the top of my list of questions. I thought to myself, "what about spare the rod, spoil the child?" This phrase has wrongly be associated with Proverbs 13:24 which says, "Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them."

Confession time...typing this makes me cringe...I actually would read this scripture to my older daughter before spanking her when she was younger. In an angry voice I would say to her, "Mommy is spanking you because it is what Jesus says to do if I love you." Isn't that just super...I misrepresented Jesus to her at an early age and this is a form of spiritual abuse. Did you know in all the gospels there isn't one instance of Jesus laying a finger on anyone? Even when He displayed righteous anger as He turned over the tables in front of the temple He never struck anyone...interesting...and something you don't often hear taught in traditional churches. If you have an image of an angry Jesus, or Father God for that matter, squashing people like grapes with His wrath I urge you to reconsider. Jesus said, "let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."(Matthew 19:14)

This is an area where we could get into a theological debate and I stated at this blogs beginning I would not get into doctrinal debates. If this issue is of importance to you I encourage you to research it. I did for myself. I discovered Bible scholars differ on their interpretation of "the rod" and "a rod" when used in scripture. If you hang around My Soul Sings often you will hear me urge you to let the Holy Spirit be your ultimate Teacher. (In fact, I plan to write on this topic soon.) After I researched the Biblical meaning of rod I took my findings to the Holy Spirit in prayer. My conclusion coincides with the teaching found in LOKP.

Is spanking wrong? No. Is spanking the primary means of discipline? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Are there incidents where spanking is the most appropriate means of discipline? Yes.

I don't know your stance on the issue of spanking, but I can honestly say there is NOT one time my husband or I have spanked that is has been done without anger in our heart. When we have spanked in the past it has been done out of anger and frustration, out of our desire to prove we were in control. I can tell you one thing for sure this is not a Biblical form of spanking...this is not righteous anger, but just plain ugly anger...sinful anger. Anger I have since repented of. Fortunately for our girls spanking is not a method we have used often, nor have we used it once since discovering LOKP. LOKP has presented us with so many alternatives that are teaching our children valuable life lessons, spanking has not been necessary.

I love how Danny described the tool of spanking in the workshop we attended. He said, "spanking is a very small tool in a very large tool box." When spanking is employed it is to be done so out of love. It is to help them gain self-control, not as a means to control them by using fear. Remember our key verse? I John 4:18, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

For those of you thinking to yourselves, "my mama and daddy whipped my butt and I turned out just fine. It's what is wrong with kids today, they need to be whipped too!" Yes, we did turn out okay (most of us)...but I believe there is an even better way, a Kingdom of God way. In our final post I will talk about this "way" and why I feel it is far superior to all other models. Kingdom parenting is parenting from heaven's perspective..."on earth as it is in heaven" and, sweet Jesus, this makes my soul sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Parenting Workshop

Hi everyone! Just wanted to quickly let you know I haven't gone anywhere:) This is the longest I've gone without posting since starting the blog. The first of the week was crazy busy and now I'm feeling under the weather. Nothing major, just allergy and sinus crud.

Hopefully, I will be able to write #5 in the parenting series SOON! We will be wrapping up the parenting series in two more posts (unless the Lord gives me another download I don't know about yet:)

I wanted to let you know the "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" Workshop has been scheduled. If you are in the Chattanooga area and can join us on Saturday, March 20th from 9-4 send me an e-mail amydover@iggm.org and I will tell you how to secure a spot. The cost will be $10/person which includes a sub sandwich lunch and snack. Late registration (after 3/13) will be $15/person. Space is limited, so early registration is encouraged.

The workshop will be held at Growing in Grace Ministries located at 5959 Shallowford Rd., Suite 103, Chattanooga, TN 37421.

I will be showing the LOKP DVD series by Danny Silk. Danny is a wonderful communicator and engaging speaker. You will laugh and be encouraged! We will have time at the end for questions and answers!

If you want a copy of Danny's book, "Loving Our Kids on Purpose" let me know. We will order in bulk and sell them at our cost on the day of the workshop. It isn't necessary to have read the book before the workshop, you won't be lost. You will however want to read it afterwards...it's that good!