Bluff or Show My Hand

This could be considered a follow up to our parenting series . If you haven't read the parenting series click the link above and I suggest you start there.

In short review of Loving on Purpose (LOP) remember love casts out all fear (I John 4:18.) In LOP we looked at Biblical parenting principles and parenting like Father God. We learned not to parent from control, but with the goal of teaching our children to manage their freedom. We learned not to fear our children's sin. Fearing their sin will lead us to control them, thus producing in them either fear or rebellion, which later in life will lead them to use control as a means of protection (it's a cycle.)

We learned to build a relationship with our children in which we protect each other's hearts. Ultimately it is from this relationship our children will learn to make wise choices and how to respond when their choices aren't so wise. Remember it is His kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4.) True repentance is not admitting our sin because we got caught or because we fear punishment. Repentance is brought about by conviction from the Holy Spirit where we confess and turn from the sin, allowing Him to empower us to walk in victory over it.

So now we have refreshed our memories on the basic concept let me introduce you to another facet the Holy Spirit revealed to me (through a recent life experience.) Light exposes all darkness. Just as fear and love can not inhabit the same space, light and darkness can not co-exist. Which is stronger? I hope you said light:)

Scripture is full of references to light and darkness. Jesus himself says "I am the light of the world;, he who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life." (John 8:12) I love I Peter 2:9 which says we have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light.

Satan is described in John 8:44 as the father of lies, when he speaks he is lying...ALWAYS! Satan is always aligned with the kingdom of darkness. Jesus is always aligned with the kingdom of light...never are there any exceptions! As followers of Christ, which kingdom should we align with? LIGHT!!!! When the Lord reveals an area in our heart not in alignment with His we are to repent and confess it as sin, thus breaking agreement with the enemy and realigning ourselves with God's truth.

Back to my story...I was recently faced with a decision. I could either show my hand (for all you card players out there) or I could try to "bluff" and get my daughter to show me hers. While I was pondering the situation, praying and asking for wisdom I clearly heard the Lord say, "show your hand." How did I know this was God's voice and not my own or the enemy's? Simple...this statement aligns with the truth of His Word. All throughout scripture we are shown how God's light reveals things hidden in darkness. If I had chosen to "bluff" I knew I would be guilty of manipulation, which is just another form of control...the very thing I'm trying to avoid doing! NEVER, EVER, EVER do we see Jesus use control or manipulation in His ministry on earth...and remember He is the example we should follow.

My goal was to expose deeds done in darkness to the marvelous, saving and redemptive light of Jesus Christ. So, I was honest...real honest, shockingly honest. I shared my heart and revealed things hidden there not even my husband (before now) knew all the details about. You see the enemy wanted to keep what I shared in the darkness, where he could use it to bring me shame and guilt...but most importantly in this case to breed FEAR. Fear of my children making the same mistake. Once these details were exposed I felt a shift take place in my heart because carrying secrets is burdensome and heavy. Once exposed my heart felt lighter...remember what the enemy intended for your destruction God works together for good!

You might be wondering how this applies in the parenting department. In our 4th parenting post we discussed the issue of self-control and respect. As parents we model respect (or disrespect) to our children. They are watching us. We can not expect for them to exhibit more respect than what has been taught them through their observation of us. Same concept applies in our post today.

In the past I have modeled to my children control, fear, manipulation and lying (to keep things from being exposed.) I have also modeled to them judgment, criticism and ungodly anger. We were reaping what was sown, rotten fruit and all.

BUT!!!!! The story doesn't end here. You should know me well enough by now to know my confessions are always followed with the story of God's redemption and restoration. He is faithful to His children! He repairs what has been broken. He restores what has deteriorated. He returns what has been stolen. It's nothing I earned or deserved by any self effort, only by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. It was a matter of listening to His instructions and following through in obedience. It took faith and trust, which I admit were hard for me. Everything in me wanted to resort back to ways that were familiar, but I knew they weren't in alignment with the kingdom of God and I had come too far to turn back now.

Is the process complete? No. Is it easy? No. Is it painful? Sometimes. Is it fruitful? You bet! Is it worth trusting Him? Absolutely! Is there satisfaction with knowing my obedience to God exposed the work of the enemy? DUH! Can I trust God to complete the work He has begun in my family? YES! And this is why MY SOUL SINGS!!!! Hallelujah!