Do you love yourself?

Wow, this blogging hiatus has been so long, blogger has changed interfaces on me!

Wanted to pop on here and talk a little about loving yourself. Papa has really been talking to me lately about love, specifically His love. He has also been showing me His goodness.

The other night I was laying in bed and couldn't sleep because of the overwhelming sense of His goodness coming over me. Basking in His love and goodness rekindled a desire in my heart (which is from Him) to tell the world (or at least those reading this blog) about His love. We complicate the gospel, making it difficult. Actually, the gospel is so simple; Jesus said we are to come as children. Children don't see life through a complicated lens, do they? Children trust and have faith. Hmmm...something to ponder, eh?

Before a person can fully give love they have to know (experience) Love. Let's follow the progression of love. God loved us first (I Jn. 4:19.) We are told to love God first and foremost, with all are being (Mark 12:30.) We are told to love one another as we love ourself (Mark 12:31.)

A few months ago I purchased a graphic tee at Old Navy. On the front, in large letters, it says, "Love Yourself." When I wear it I can count on some strange looks. I can only imagine what people assume. Perhaps they think I am conceited, arrogant, or prideful. It doesn't matter. What matters to me is I really do love myself, but that hasn't always been the case.

Sometime in my early 30s I was faced with the reality I had a huge self-hatred issue. Circumstances in my life brought this ugly fact into the light and over the last decade I have been in the healing process. Self-hatred's tentacles are tight and run deep. I didn't just wake up one day and decide I was going to love myself. No, it was most assuredly a long, tedious, at times ugly process. It began with learning who Christ made me and progressed to a radical heart experience with my Papa's love for me.

I had to dig up and toss out bad theology, replacing it with His truth. Religion had taught me to believe I was no good...the wretch the song refers to...but I now realize it was a lie. Once you have accepted Jesus as your Savior and are on this side of the cross you are no longer a wretch or a sinner. Truth is, God sees you as He sees Jesus. As He is so are we in this world! See I John 4:17.

Jesus was serious when He said, "it is finished" on the cross. Everything was done on the cross, it is a finished work. Our only part is to choose to believe and confess Him as Lord!

Sadly, the majority of the body of Christ is walking around believing they are wretched sinners. They believe they are disappointing God. They struggle with the same sin time and again, cloaked in shame and desperation. I know because I was one of them.

Once I realized I wasn't destined to be a sinner my entire life, everything changed. I know now when I do sin I have an advocate with the Father (see I John 2:1.) I've heard it said the reason we need an advocate (an attorney so to speak) is because we have no reason to sin. In the NIV translation it says "if anybody does sin." If, not when...hmmmm???? We aren't going to dissect that one today;)

It's hard to put into words how powerful the love of God is. The point I am trying to make is His love changes everything, but first you have to receive. I'm not talking about salvation. I believe one can accept Christ as Savior and not really know His love. Knowing His love comes through an intimate relationship with Him.

Many people can't get to the knowing part because they can't get past the wretched sinner part. When you believe the lie you aren't worthy of His love because of sin or your past, it's next to impossible to receive it. Friend, I'm here to tell you, YOU ARE WORTHY! You are worthy because of the sacrifice Jesus made! IT IS FINISHED!!!!

Receive His love. He is waiting for you. Love yourself because you are made in His image. Love others from the overflow that comes from abiding in the love of the Father. It's beautiful! His love is life changing!

Papa, I thank You for Your goodness. I thank You for desiring a relationship with me. I thank You for the ability to enter into Your presence knowing I am clean, righteous, holy and fully loved...and I did nothing to earn it. I thank You for Your love. Your love is so safe and so empowering my desire to sin decreases. I thank You for forgiveness when I do fail. Thank You for Your kindness leading me to repentance. I thank You for loving me as much as You love Jesus! Papa, You make my soul sing and I thank You!

Wives, let's talk about SEX!

I'm giving this blog post a MW rating for "married women." This post will contain mature content intended for women who are married, or about to get married:)

Warning, if you're a TMI* offends me type of person you might want to fore go reading this one...but you're also probably one who needs to read it the most.

As women of faith we've got to get a hold of this one, girls! Forget religiosity and let's get honest. Marriage is under fire! We don't need to be reminded of the divorce rates and the statistics showing the rates are just as high, if not higher, among believers as non-believers. The world is looking to the body of Christ for answers and solutions, but we can't give them when we are just as ensnared in the problem as the rest of the world! What's part of answer? Hey, it may be ALL of the answer...SEX, healthy, God glorifying, marriage enriching, SEX!

I could spend time talking about how God created sex for a husband and wife. I could talk about how the enemy has perverted sex or how our mindsets are skewed on the subject because of media, pop culture, music, etc. But, that's been done already and, really, is it getting us anywhere? I am a find a solution type of girl...after all, the problems have been well identified.

So for this one, let's agree to talk like close girl friends. Wives, I'm hear to tell you to give it up and give it up often! Yes, I just went there! Seriously, every three days is what experts tell us men need!

I can hear the excuses flying through cyberspace as I type this....girls, I've made them myself. I tried the "not tonight, the baby was really clingy today and I'm all touched out." Then the babies became a tween and teen and bedtimes aren't 7:00 anymore and the excuse became, "we can't do that; the girls might walk in on us."

Then, of course, there's the excuse my emotional needs weren't being met, so why meet his physical ones. If only he would...you fill in the blank. It doesn't matter the excuse, they are all rubbish. EXCUSES WON'T IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE AND THEY DEFINITELY WON'T SAVE IT!!!!!!

I don't have all the answers as to why God made men so sexual, but He did and we can either whine about it or embrace it. I'm hear to encourage you to embrace it.

Now, let's get a couple of things out in the open...as if this post wasn't open enough! First, I'm not perfect in this department. Second, I want you to know this message is to women in safe marital relationships. If you are being sexually or physically abused, get help and get help now.

My Soul Sings is a place where I get personal with you and this post is more personal than most. I must tell you, sex is the ticket to getting your needs met. Some might read that and think I am a proponent of manipulation. I am not. I detest manipulation. I would like to invite you to see it as sacrificial and unconditional.

Wait a second, Amy...you just said sex was the ticket to getting your needs met and turned around and used the words sacrificial and unconditional? The word unconditional by definition contradicts this statement. Yes, you are right, it does. Let me explain...

If you are a wife whose emotional needs aren't being met, it would be a sacrificial act of unconditional love on your part to meet the needs of your husband physically. Unconditional love is love with no strings attached.

Which brings me to what I must say next. If you want your way I'm here to tell you griping, complaining and berating your man isn't the way to get it. You're only making the gap between the two of you larger and larger. I've met some couples where the gap is so wide it takes a great commitment and hours of counseling to bridge it...sadly, many end in divorce because the gap seemed to large to bridge. After years of decay they opt out because they want relief from the pain and years of needs going unmet.

No amount of browbeating will bring about positive change in anyone. A negative on top of a negative doesn't equal a positive. That's a whole other topic for another day:)

So, what if...just what if, regular tumbling between the sheets brings out the best in your man? You'll never know, if you don't give it a try.

I'm chuckling at what I'm about to share with you. My sweet hubby gets used as an example so many times. He's good with it. I'll even read this post to him later.

This past weekend the girls weren't home. We had some things to accomplish around the house and also planned a date night. Life is incredibly busy right now and I love it when we make it a point to spend time together. If you're familiar with the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman you can probably tell quality time is one of my love languages. I also blossom with words of affirmation and acts of service.

Russell spent Saturday afternoon taking the blinds down in each room of our house. He took them outside, washed them and hung them back up. He also cleaned all the windows, from the inside and the outside. This was his idea. I hadn't asked him to do it. SCORE! This would be an act of service.

Saturday night we had dinner with some friends at a lovely restaurant overlooking the Tennessee River. SCORE! This would be quality time.

We came home, snuggled and (use your imagination here:) SCORE! This would be physical touch.

Sunday morning came and he informed me he had picked up a gerber daisy (my favorite flower) and potted it for my table on the patio where I sit in the mornings to enjoy coffee and quiet time. SCORE! This would be receiving of gifts.

Later in the morning he looked at me with loving eyes and told me how awesome I was. SCORE! This would be words of affirmation.

He was one happy pappy. His needs were met, my needs were met....and the whole family benefits from the atmosphere of love in the house. This also brings security to our children. It sends the message mom loves dad and dad loves mom...we are safe.

What I don't want you to take from this post is you can be a vixen in the bedroom tonight and expect diamonds and roses tomorrow. It takes time and consistency, but it's so worth it!

A dear friend and I were talking about sex the other day. She said, "Amy, to them (our hubbys) sex is like oxygen." It's true. Obviously we can not live without oxygen...perhaps to the male species, they can't "live" without sex. All I know is my hubby is tends to be less frustrated, more at peace and generally more pleasant when we are having sex regularly.

I may sound like a broken record, but again, you are only in control of you. You can only control how you respond to life's situations and challenges. A healthier, more fulfilled you is on the horizon as soon as you stop looking to others to meet your needs. It can start with letting your husband off the hook. Will you take the first step? Will you make the sacrifice? You might possibly end up enjoying it!

For those in sexual bondage or suffering with guilt from their sexual past, there is help and there is healing. Sexual sin is almost always the fruit of a deeper rooted issue...a way to medicate the pain or unmet need. If you struggle in any of these areas, I invite you to check out the inner healing ministries offered here.

If you've enjoyed this post and would like to read others like it go here, here, here and here.

I only issue challenges I'm willing to take myself...girls, let's do this one together! My Soul Sings because God thought it not good for man to be alone so He gave him woman. Embracing my role as wife, encourager, life giver, friend and most importantly, LOVER!

*TMI-acronym for too much information

Crisis Prevention

I have been reminded more than once this week God speaks our language. He can use the tiniest, most seemingly insignificant detail and use it to reach us. He loves us that much! I even witnessed Him use me in a ministry session to speak the language of the recipient without me being aware of it until after the fact. God speaks and walls come down!

I'm no stranger to hearing God's voice through the mundane things of life. I've even blogged about it here, here, here and here.

This week He gave me yet another picture using something ordinary...nails, my nails, more specifically my chipping, breaking, splitting nails. I recently started having my nails done with a fairly new technique called Shellac. This isn't necessarily critical for you to know, but I wanted to brag on my friend and nail tech, Bobbie Nation. Bobbie has a heart of gold. Sitting in her chair getting your nails done leaves you feeling not only pretty, but well loved:)

I wasn't scheduled to have them re-done until next week, but I was having a crisis, a nail crisis. I sent Bobbie a text saying, "I'm having a nail crisis! Can you get me in earlier?" I had to wait a few days. The thing with Shellac is even though they are your natural nails, the polish doesn't come off with regular remover. Not something I could really take of myself. It was really bothering me that my nails were looking so raggedy:)

This seemingly superficial post is going to get serious...stay with me:)

In the world of inner healing (lay men's terms, healing of the heart (emotional/spiritual) pain) we often receive requests for ministry that are URGENT. This especially happens when people find themselves in crisis mode. They call and want to be seen yesterday.

My mentor, friend and colleague, Vikki Waters, has trained me well in not allowing others' crisis to become my crisis. There will always be someone needing help and boundaries are crucial when you are involved in ministry.

What I have learned is people in crisis aren't always in a place to receive deep healing. The crisis is all they see and they want it fixed. In reality the best time to receive ministry or inner healing is when life is relatively calm...perhaps even avoiding many of the "crisis" times all together.

If I have any males that are reading this blog, which started out like a piece on "Toddlers and Tiaras," I want you to know I haven't forgotten you. Maybe you can't relate to my nail crisis analogy, but you can relate to car maintenance. Simple things like oil changes can PREVENT major vehicle issues down the road. I'm no car expert, but not changing your oil regularly can lead to some high price engine issues, among other things.

Let's put this in a real life scenario of marriage. Marriage takes work. Marriage is an investment. What can happen if you don't invest enough time and energy in your marriage? Potential boredom, loneliness, un-fulfillment (sexually and/or emotionally,) adultery and loss of relationship are just a few issues that come to mind.

How can these pitfalls be avoided? Maintenance, i.e. date nights, weekend getaways, short walks together, regular sex (very important!!!) and a safe environment in which to talk and share feelings openly without fear of being ignored, chastised or yelled at.

Bottom line and the point of this post is to encourage each of you reading this to be prudent. If you are struggling in an area don't wait for the bottom to drop out before you do something about it. Although I believe nothing is impossible for God and it's never too late for Him to redeem and restore, the truth is, when humans are involved there isn't always a willingness or desire for healing/restoration/redemption/reconciliation. Reconciliation takes both parties to be successful.

As I've said before and I will say again...on your very best day, you are only in control of YOU! Which means you can only do something about YOU! Expecting others around you to change to solve your problems will find you waiting a lifetime and will carry with it much frustration.

What are you waiting for...a crisis? I've been in several crisis times myself and they are NO fun. As far as it has to do with me, I want to maintain, prevent and go after what is broken and allow Holy Spirit to do "maintenance" on my heart and avoid crisis as much as possible! And when crisis does comes, because it will, my hope is to be able to handle it with the mind of Christ, from heaven to earth.

I am ever so thankful Papa God speaks in our language. He doesn't pass up an opportunity to minister to our hearts, but the key is, are you listening? I invite you to open the eyes and ears of your heart and look for Him in the mundane, the simple things in life. My Soul Sings because He uses it all, little and big, to bring Him glory and to bring me into a closer relationship with Him! He is so GOOD!

Chunking the Junk

Sometimes you just have to sit down and type! I've been wanting to organize my thoughts on what I am going to share with you today, but I realize that's probably not going to happen...so here goes it!

If you are my Facebook friend you've probably not escaped the fact I have been on a journey to healthier eating. As I read new information I have shared snippets with you through my status updates. Some of you are interested and others have laughed at me, it's okay, I'm laughing with you:)

Let's start by making this point clear, I AM NOT AN EXPERT AT ANYTHING. I'm not a doctor, nurse, nutritionist...shoot, I haven't even bought any books on the topic....yet. So, what I share with you here will be based on what I have tested personally or what has resonated with me from my research and reading online.

Of course, like any subject there are varying opinions on the topic of what to eat, what not to eat, etc. I'll leave those arguments to the "experts." If anything I am sharing this with you because if you only make one healthier choice from it I have been successful. Sharing, inspiring and encouraging...it's what I do and it's part of who God made me to be!

A couple of months ago I purchased a Vita-Mix high powered blender. I had been eyeing (okay, coveting) one for over 5 years when I first saw it demonstrated. Couldn't talk my hubby into the purchase (they're not cheap, think investment here.)

With hubby convinced and vita-mix in hand I went in search of some yummy smoothie recipes. I stumbled upon a whole new world of green smoothies. Drinking my greens was a new concept to me and I liked it. I like them so much I now have one every morning for breakfast!

As I learned more about fruits, veggies and seeds and their nutritional value I came to the revelation God has provided us everything we need to live healthy, disease free lives...but it's all in our choices. There is healing in food.

If you've been around My Soul Sings you know I am passionate about inner healing, aka healing of the heart. God is all about our health, from the inside out...healthy food choices are a great way of taking care of what He gave me, so I can not only have life to the full (see John 10:10) but live life to the fullest and have life to give to others in need of it.

No, I am not a vegetarian or a vegan...yet:) I don't believe it's wrong to eat meat. In fact, I believe the Bible gives us the freedom to eat it. You don't have to agree with me here...that's not the point of this post.

Google and I have become fast friends on this journey. I started looking up the health benefits of items I had hardly given a second glance in the produce department. Here are some of the tidbits I have put into practice and seen results from:

*Did you know that eating fruit after a meal will lead to bloating and gas? Fruit only takes about 20 minutes to process and reach the stomach. It's best to eat fruit early in the day, and especially not after a meal in which you've consumed meat. Most meat takes hours or longer to digest. Put fruit in behind that and it ferments before it ever reaches the stomach. Traffic jam! Not only is the result bloating and gas, but you've missed out on the nutrients in the fruit! Here I was eating fruit with my meal hoping to add fiber to my diet to prevent constipation and in actuality I was only making my condition worse! I have tested this. I am now a believer. Enough said!

*Artificial sweeteners are the same as drinking battery acid. They cause joint pain and aches. I haven't had a diet soda or artificially sweetened drink since last week. No joint pain whatsoever this week and no ibuprofen either...WIN!

*First thing in the morning, drink a tall glass of water with lemon juice in it. I usually use 1/2 lemon or more per 24 oz tumbler. Lemon is very cleansing and is an anti-oxidant which rids your body of free radicals which cause sickness and disease. Think of this morning ritual as a cleansing of the pipes so to speak!

*Greens, greens, greens! This is why I like green smoothies so much. I would probably never eat a big bowl full of kale in a salad, but put a few leaves of it in a smoothie with some mango and I can drink it up! Greens are also full of water; water that has already been purified naturally.

*Studies have linked a low fat diet with a tendency toward depression. Our bodies need good fat! Remember the fat in a doughnut is not equal to the fat in an avocado! I have to wonder if craving sweet junk food like chocolate ice cream or cake when we are feeling down is our body's way of saying, "I need fat!" The junky fat may satisfy and comfort for the moment, but a diet with a balance of healthy fat could make a difference for a lifetime!

I have an app on my iPhone called the green smoothie app. It has recipes for green smoothies, soups and raw puddings. What I love most about it is the nutritional information on a wide range of fruits, vegetables and greens. It tells you what they are good at preventing and/or treating. Great find for $1.99!

If you want to be entertained, as well as have a wealth of green smoothies recipes at your fingertips, check out www.blenditandmendit.com. My younger daughter likes to sit with me and watch her video tutorials. We like her enthusiasm, it's contagious:)

I also have learned quite a bit from www.greensmoothiegirl.com. In fact, I am planning on purchasing one of her books soon.

If you are interested in making some healthier choices, and have questions, feel free to ask me. I might not have the answer, but I may can help you find one! So many health issues can be cured and/or reversed by making changes in our diets. I want that, don't you?

Today in my breakfast smoothie alone I had 9 servings of fruits and vegetables. The FDA recommends 5. This afternoon as I have written this post I enjoyed a snack size smoothie containing one peach, about 2 cups of frozen honeydew, spearmint leaves and one whole romaine heart. It was very refreshing on this hot day and tasted great! Much healthier than what I use to choose as a snack:)

Well, that's about all I have to say on the subject for now. If you found your way to this blog through a search engine please know you are welcome here, but the topic of this blog is not usually health, nutrition or green smoothies. My Soul Sings is a place where I share my journey and relationship with the Creator of the Universe and Lover of my soul...Jesus. But what better way to honor Him then by honoring my temple (body) and what goes into it. I want my outside to reflect what's on the inside! I have been saved, healed and delivered...from the inside out and that makes my soul sing!!!!!

Are You Content to be Fat?

I had hoped my next blog post would be to share things stirred in my heart from my recent experience at Jesus Culture Awakening. Hopefully I will make time to do so in the future, but for today I feel I have a word from the Lord. I believe it's a personal word for me, but one He is also wanting me to share with His body.

Perhaps it is the result of what I saw and heard shared at the conference...after all, there were many ministries represented and showcased throughout the conference all with the same mission..."Send," "Go," "Love," are words I continually heard. These were people not just content to sit in a conference and listen to great men and women of faith share their stories of miracles and moves of God. No, they were people whose lives had been laid down in total surrender. They were in the trenches doing the "stuff," loving the unlovable, rescuing the dying, releasing the captives. One lady shared of a ministry starting with 5 children rescued from the sex trade, now they are up to several hundred children. They not only feed and house them, they are providing the children an education so they can grow up and be productive citizens! These people are not just preaching the gospel, they are living and doing it!

Which has led me to question are we, the body of Christ, more content to be fat? By fat I mean fat on knowledge...continuing to partake, but never assimilating. Maybe we don't "act" on what we know because we are afraid of what the sacrifice might be. Perhaps we are afraid of failing or of the unknown.

I am reminded of the scripture in I Corinthians that says, "knowledge puffs up, but love builds up." Allow me to take this verse out of context and pose the question, is it love that makes it possible for us to put knowledge into action? I believe the answer is yes. It is love that compels us to take knowledge and put action with it...to assimilate what we know.

What I love about spiritual principles is they are always first seen in the natural. If all we did is eat and eat and eat some more, but we never leave the table to exercise what happens? We get fat! Same applies spiritually...if all we do is study, go to church once a week and attend conferences, but never take what we learn and "go out unto all the world" we get fat...fat with knowledge.

"From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." (Luke 12:48b)

I don't know about you, but I'm not content to just eat and get fat. I want to share my "food," share my experiences with God, share His love, bring healing to the brokenhearted and set the captives free. This is what I was destined to do, my purpose...the piece of the Father's heart I carry. What part do you carry? If you don't know, I encourage you to ask Him. He has been waiting for you to ask!

Pray with me...Dear Papa, I'm no longer content to sit at Your table and feast without sharing the bounty with those around me. I'm tired of making it all about me, my needs and my wants. I recognize I am blessed to be a blessing. I want to see what you see in this world. I want my heart to break for what breaks Yours. I want to use what I "know" of You and represent You well to others. Papa teach me to put love into action, truth into action...I want to be a living, breathing, walking around example of the gospel of Christ. I want my words and actions to bring You glory and draw others into the abundant and free life You have generously bestowed upon me. Thank You for making the way. Thank You for trusting me, Papa. Thank You for life. Amen!"

It's time for the body of Christ to start assimilating what they know in a spirit of love. There is a world out there dying, literally and figuratively, to know and experience the love of Christ...what if you are the means to bring that freedom to someone? Why not you and why not now? This is the gospel and it makes MY SOUL SING!

If you enjoy My Soul Sings I invite you to become a follower of this blog. If this post has ministered to you, please feel free to share it with friends! Blessings on you!

Time for Rest

This post will be more like a journal entry; a peek inside my heart and mind the past few days.

It hit me Sunday morning while sitting at my daughter's swim meet. I am exhausted. Not just physically tired, but spiritually and emotionally spent to the point I was feeling it in my physical body. I wanted to weep, but how could I in front of all these people? Surely they would think I am crazy if they asked if I was okay and all I said was, "I'm just tired." After all, it's not uncommon to see swimmers break down into emotion because they didn't "perform" to their expectation...yes, a swim meet has it's potential for many adolescent hormonal displays of emotion:) But, that's not me and my onslaught of weepiness was not remotely tied to swimming.

In the midst of it all, I decided when I got home I was unplugging from life...or as Jack Bauer in the former Fox TV series, "24" would say, "I'm going dark." Yes, I went dark Sunday afternoon and evening and it was delightful! Turned my cell phone off, didn't check Facebook and after both of our girls were home for the day, we even unplugged our house phone. And, I rested.

As I awakened this morning I suspected I would feel completely revived and recharged, but that's not the case. Of course I immediately started to access the situation and my conclusion is this...boundaries...I broke Amy's unwritten rule of living life from a place of rest. I've lived my life the past few weeks with little to no room for time to recharge...leaving not only my body tired, but my mind and heart as well.

I have blogged before about ministering from a place of rest and this is crucial in preventing ministry burn out. I broke my own "rule." Well, I'm not real fond of having a lot of "rules" so maybe it's more of a boundary or guideline than it is a rule. After all, even though we live in the New Covenant under God's grace, His "rules" are there in order to protect us, not restrict us. I don't look at the "rules" of scripture as there to keep me from having fun, no, quite the opposite, they are there to keep me safe.

This summer has been insanely busy...mostly coming from having an active 15 year old in the house. Maybe this summer is God's way of preparing my heart to let her drive next year...something that if I ponder too long makes me slightly anxious at the thought:)

Hmmm, I really don't know. But, one thing I do know is this...our bodies were made to need rest, as much as they were made to need food and water. God even modeled resting to us on the 7th day of creation. So, in the midst of the crazy summer schedule I am going to re-evaluate my boundaries and carve out more time for rest.

This past Saturday night at our home church, Joy shared with us about stewardship. Stewardship is about more than just our finances. We will steward well what we have value for...if I'm not stewarding my body well, I'm not only not taking care of God's temple, I'm not honoring my family with the best of me. When I am weary in body, soul and spirit I am not going to be the best wife, mother or friend. Stewarding our bodies well is also an act of worship to God!

I believe I was created to share and be transparent, which is the purpose of this blog post. Somehow, just processing this on "paper" has relieved my soul of a burden...thanks for listening and I hope this will speak to many other "weary" ones.

Exchanging weariness and fatigue for His yoke makes MY SOUL SING! Now, where is my pillow and soft praise music?????

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings, please become a follower of this blog and consider sharing it with a friend! Blessings on you!

Sweeter than Candy!

"Complaining in the Kingdom doesn't get you candy." I heard this said in a sermon I was listening to by Kris Vallotton and it really sparked some thought in this ole' head of mine.

The overall message wasn't necessarily about the direction I am taking this blog...it just sparked some thought which led to revelation for me personally...which, in my opinion, is too good not to share:)

After Kris made this statement he went on to the give the example of a child throwing a temper tantrum in the grocery store, begging mom for candy. You know how the story ends, because I think we (parents) have all been in this story...you get the child candy, in hopes of shutting them up and keeping peace. Not the end of the world if this is a rare occurrence, BUT if this becomes a pattern we really are doing our children a disservice by teaching them complaining/throwing a fit/whining gets them what they want in life. Although this may be true to some degree i.e. complain in a restaurant about the food or service and you may get a free meal out of it, it isn't how God does business....in other words, it's not kingdom.

I will be the first one to confess I have parented this way...giving in to my girls just to make peace...but then I was challenged several years ago by Matthew 5:37 in several areas of my life, but particularly in the parenting department. My paraphrase of Matthew 5:37 is, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no."

My girls don't push the envelope as much these days, especially my older daughter. I have even overheard her say to one of her friends, "when my mom says no, she means no. There's no need in begging her."

Okay, so you may be wondering where I am taking this...I'm getting there...

I started to think of how God parents us. Sometimes we pray and ask for something and the answer, or lack of answer, can be translated as a no from God. Then I am reminded of the story of Abraham and Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham was in true relationship with God and in Genesis 18 we see him plead with God on behalf of the righteous in Sodom. If you are not familiar with this story I would encourage you to go read it. Very encouraging and empowering to know we can have this kind of relationship with the God of the universe!!!

What I gleaned from this is I want to teach my children they can persuade (not manipulate) me, just as we can pray to God and persuade Him. You might have trouble comprehending we can persuade God, but we can probably agree that one of the purposes of prayer is to come into alignment with His heart. I think this is just another facet of what true relationship with Father God looks like...intimacy, where you see His heart and He knows yours...and because He is a good Father He wants to fulfill our desires, but they must be in accordance with His character and His word.

If I can see one of my daughters truly has a heart desire for what they are asking for I will do everything in my ability to fulfill their request...no complaining, begging or whining required!

No, complaining truly doesn't get you candy in the Kingdom, but it does get you something, but not anything you would want...it gives you an all access pass to visit the realm of darkness. It will empower the enemy to move in your life. I love the quote by Bill Johnson, "complaining is to the demonic what praise is to God."

As Psalm 100:4 tells us, "enter His presence with thanksgiving and His courts with praise."

I want to dwell in His presence...complaining doesn't put me there, praise does. I want to parent my girls like Father God parents me. I want everything I do and say to reflect the kingdom of God. What about you?

Thankful for the process of learning to live with a Kingdom mindset one step at a time. My Soul Sings with praise and thanksgiving for my Jesus and that, my friends, is sweeter than any candy!

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