Many of you know me personally, but many of you do not. This will be one of those posts where knowing me will put you at an advantage. I have been told I write just like I talk, so if you've been reading for awhile you have a pretty good glimpse into my personality...God bless you if you continue to come back:)
We just completed Fall Break 2010 here in the Scenic City (Chattanooga.) My husband took most of the week as vacation. We loaded up the family and headed to the great tourist mecca of eastern Tennessee, aka, Sevier County, Great Smoky Mountains, Little Las Vegas and Gatlinburg.
Where else can you hike, horseback ride, wine taste, eat, go to indoor water parks, zip line, shop, ride go-carts, play unlimited miniature golf and find a "show" on every corner? If that's not enough you can visit any number of Ripley's museums which promise to be the best of the Smokies...I wouldn't know, I've not been to any of them!
I hope I painted a clear picture for those who haven't had the privilege of visiting the Great Smokies. One adjective I would use to describe any trip there is "BUSY!" Now, if you are childless there are plenty of cabins nestled in the woods which offer a place of respite and refreshing...but traveling to Sevier Co., Tennessee with two girls, ages 10 and 14, you aren't going to go to those places...see previous paragraph.
Fast forward to right now, it's 1:14 in the afternoon and I'm coming to you from my bedroom, showered, but in pj pants sitting in the quiet, writing this blog post. The only talking I have done thus far today is communicating with my 10 year old as she got ready for school. The quiet has been blissful.
Please hear me loud and clear, I adore my family. I love to spend time with my husband and our girls, but seriously, we are LOUD! All four of us! When we are all together it is hard to be heard, so we become louder. Now, I'm not saying this is all bad. After all, God gave us our personalities. In the past I tried to change who I was in order to fit a mold I thought people wanted or expected of me. I realized God made me with a voice and I have embraced that voice in the last couple of years...thus the realization of My Soul Sings!
Not too long ago I had an epiphany...I enjoy solitude. This really surprised me at first, because I love people and being with people. If given the option of a quiet Friday night at home or going to dinner with friends, I'd choose the latter most all the time. What I realized is I have the benefit of copious amounts of "me" time. While the girls are in school I am home alone. My days and weeks fill up quickly with ministry and such, but I also have alone time on a daily basis Monday through Friday, with a few exceptions. Having this amount of alone time equates to plenty of Jesus and me time!
Before you jump to conclusions and envision me all pious, let me clarify. Jesus time for me doesn't mean I spend hours reading scripture, or praying, for that matter. It simply means I am aware of His presence with me as I go about my day. Yes, I talk to Him. I most definitely spend time praising and worshiping Him. I also enjoy listening to sermons online, as well as reading the Word.
Last night when I went to bed my thoughts went toward today and the time I would be able to spend with Jesus. I realized I hadn't had much Jesus and me time all week. It made me sad. Think of your dearest friend, now think of the last time you spent with them. Was it today, yesterday, last week or last month? If you answered last month how does that make you feel? Distant, separated, alone? Does it make you crave time with them? If so, why do you crave time with them? Is it because you love how time with them makes you feel? Is it because you love them, cherish them and enjoy the deep heart connection you have with them? Perhaps when you are separated from them you feel incomplete or like you are missing something. This is exactly how I feel when I've not had my Jesus time.
I've been a Christian for most of my life, but that doesn't mean I have always walked in an intimate relationship with Him. In fact, my relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit really began about six years ago. In the past if you had asked me about my quiet time I would have said it was slim to none. From time to time I would be guilted into or feel obligated to spend time reading my Bible and my prayers were short and self-serving at that. Then there were crisis times when I suddenly became "fervent" in prayer, because of desperation and fear. Like I could actually put God in a box, store Him on the shelf, then pull the box off the shelf and blow off the dust when I needed Him...what a prideful way of thinking I had! Pure religion, devoid of relationship, reducing God to a genie in a bottle.
So, maybe you can relate to some of what I just shared and maybe you are wondering what is different now for me. Well, so glad you asked! Relationship, that's the difference. No longer am I fearful of God in a sense of having to perform for Him to meet the mark. Quite the opposite, I am drawn to His goodness. Anything I do for Him I do out of the overflow He has so generously poured into me. I spend time with Him because I want to, not because I need to or should. I praise Him because without a way to express my gratitude and love for Him I just might explode! I talk to Him, because He is my friend and greatest confidant. The more I experience and encounter His heart the more passionately I grow in love with Him.
Let me attempt to tie this all together. Last week represented busyness. Our world as a whole is loud and always on the go...just like I felt our "break" was. Have we become so accustomed to drive thru living that we have equated our time with Jesus, our dearest friend and Savior, to drive thru as well? I'm calling it "grab and go Jesus." Grab and go Jesus makes me sad...it almost makes me sick...I can't help but wonder how it grieves His heart. Unlike the members of my family, Jesus doesn't raise His voice and become louder in order to gain our attention.
One of the reasons I started this blog was a desire to represent Him well. I feel the body of Christ has largely mis-represented God to the world, myself included. The more of the mystery of Christ I uncover, the more I want to share my findings.
In no way is this post meant to bring shame or guilt to anyone. Your time with Jesus is personal. There is no "set" amount of time you should spend with Him. I have discovered the more time I spend with Him, the more I want. As long as I was stuck in the process of "fulfilling the quota" I wasn't living in the fullness of joy being in His presence brings (see Psalm 16:11 NASB.)
We were created to be friends of God. Once you partake of friendship with Him, time with Him becomes a priority, something you purpose to make time for above all else. Last week among the busyness of fall break I didn't purpose to spend time with Him and I was left feeling empty as a result.
Intimacy with the Father is something I love writing about. I hope this post has sparked desire in your heart, or rekindled a flame that may have been smothered out by busyness. Can you hear Him calling you or has He been drowned out by the noise of this world? Spending time with my closest Friend makes my soul sing! I refuse to settle for "grab and go Jesus," what about you?
I once settled for grab and go Jesus, but no more!
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