Oh Focus, Where Art Thou?

I am starting to wonder if the name of this blog should have been "Confession Central." Seems like I do quite a bit of soul sharing and confessing on here and this post is no different.

I lost my focus. Never fear, I found it, if I hadn't I wouldn't be writing this post.

Some of you may or may not know what your focus is. I have blogged before about my priorities. To sum them up again they go in this order, God, my husband, my children, friends and ministry.

Focus and priorities for me are related, but not necessarily one in the same. For the last few years my focus has been on God and my relationship with the Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit. When I am in right relationship with the Godhead my priorities and other relationships come into order as well.

When I say I lost my focus I mean I took my eyes off God. You may be asking what exactly does that look like? For me to be focused on God is to constantly view things through Kingdom lenses. The circumstances in the natural often look bleak, discouraging and hopeless. When we focus on what we see in the natural we empower lies to work, as we lose sight of God's truth. It is my desire to filter circumstances in my life and the lives of those I love through the eyes of God.

This can mean I seek a precedent from scripture or it can be as simple as asking Him how He views a situation. Viewing life through Kingdom lenses has empowered me to walk in victory, satisfaction and peace; as well as, providing Kingdom solutions to the trials and problems I face in day to day life.

As a friend told me today I have an addictive personality...thanks sister, I felt so edified by this comment:) Just kidding...she is right. I've never had a substance addiction, but when I am passionate about something it usually turns into an obsession/addiction...it becomes what I live and breath for.

Now, before you go and assume this is a negative trait of mine I invite you to look at how this can be a good attribute. Followers of this blog should know by now I am constantly looking for the redemptive value in EVERYTHING!

As I have grown in my relationship with God I have become absolutely obsessed with Him. This has effected me in a wonderful way as I am now living in great freedom. I am obsessed with worship, prayer, study and ministry. My passion and love for Jesus drives me to share my relationship with others, hopefully imparting a little piece of the Kingdom to those who are seeking it...and hopefully without spiritually throwing up on them uninvited...if I have crossed this boundary with anybody reading this please accept my apologies...I just get excited sometimes:) Most of the time my God obsession is a good obsession!

But, when I lose my focus I can easily fall into a snare of the enemy, becoming obsessed with other things that aren't healthy for me or my family. Before we go any further in this post I want you to hear me say this is my story, and it may be quite different from yours.

I want to confess and explain what it looks like when I lose my focus...not that I'm proud of it, I am not.

When I take my eyes off God I always get incredibly grumpy, highly agitated and easily frustrated. The peace I am accustomed to walking in goes right out the window.

Isaiah 26:3 from the Message, "People with their minds set on You, You keep completely whole, steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don't quit."

When I lose my focus and my eyes aren't on Him my life turns into a whirlwind and chaos reigns in my home. When I am on a focus sabbatical (tee-hee) I don't spend much time with God, my prayer life is brief and self-centered, and I hardly open the Word. What happens when you don't water a plant? It withers. Visual learners that was for you:) What happens when you go a long time without talking with a friend? You lose contact.

Fast forward to this morning. I knew I had lost my focus. I also realized I had some pretty intense repentance I needed to do. In my circles we call this "doing kingdom business." Nailed down and simply put I had placed other obsessions over my relationship with God and that, my friends, is idolatry.

As I sat on my bed with my Bible and journal in front of me I closed my eyes and tried to connect with the Father...nothing...silence...hello God, are you there? Now I know good and well He is there, He never leaves...dang it, I knew it was serious business when I had to start confessing and repenting before I even felt Him close. You people know how much I love His presence, to not be able to immediately connect with Him for me is pure torture.

He has already revealed to me the redemptive side of me temporarily experiencing the break in connection...because, He is, after all, ridiculously redemptive and doesn't waste the opportunity to use anything to teach us and grow us up in the faith.

Stay tuned for a blog post soon about restoring your heart to heart connection with Father God. Until next time I hope your soul sings because the Father passionately loves you and longs for an intimate relationship with you!