Moody Mama's Encore Appearance

It definitely was NOT an Oscar award winning appearance...but, yes, sadly, Moody Mama came back. If you are wondering who the heck Moody Mama is I begrudgingly invite you to go read this post. But I must warn you, it's not my brightest moment.

Good Friday, and no the irony of it being "Good" Friday is not lost on me...keep reading and you will see why. Good Friday and we were preparing to go out of town for Easter weekend. It is spring break week. We planned a weekend getaway to Atlanta where going to the Georgia Aquarium, Six Flags and shopping were on the agenda.

Allow me to setup the scene for you, so you can get the full picture. Last week was incredibly busy, on all fronts. I was out of the home 3 nights out of 4, something I try not to do most of the time. My days were filled with appointments of all kinds, ministry, hair cut, doctor and meetings. I am not at all complaining, just giving you a glimpse into what for me was a packed week. Being a "stay at home" mom has spoiled me with a good amount of leisure time and plenty of time to do laundry and various other errands during the day. When my time is otherwise scheduled those things get left undone temporarily.

Now would be a good time for a huge shout out for those of you who work full-time and manage a household including all of the above activities day in and day out. You gals are the bomb, seriously, my hat goes off to you! Extra kudos to those who do it all as a single mom...really, hats off!

But, for me, this kind of week is not the norm. By Thursday I was a mad woman catching up on laundry and getting out summer clothes due to the dramatic change in temperatures here in southeast Tennessee...which included some trying on to determine what fit the girls (and honestly what fit me, ugh), so we knew what to pack for our trip.

I encouraged the girls to pack their bags Thursday evening, but was met with, "we'll do it in the morning." The dear hubster, who is an extreme early worm, wanted to leave at say 8:00 a.m., 9:00 at the latest...yeah, right, I thought to myself...or maybe I didn't keep that thought in my head, yes, looking back, I'm pretty sure I didn't...hmmm, should have recognized then Moody Mama was on the verge of a comeback:)

Morning came, and have I mentioned before morning isn't my finest time of the day...well I should, because that is a very important tidbit of information to know. Yes, morning came, I wasn't finished packing and the girls hadn't even begun to pack. With children the ages of mine one grows used to peaceful showers and potty time alone without interruption...it's not like I have little bitty ones hanging on me while I do my business, etc. Those of you in that stage, I promise, it gets better.

So, imagine my frustration when they both alternately came into the bathroom while I was trying to shower and, you know, other stuff...they made several trips into my sanctum, with various questions, such as, "mom, I don't know what to pack. Mom, does this outfit match? Mom, what is the weather going to be like? What shoes look best with my Easter dress? Mom, are you packing your flat iron and can I use it?"

My response was less than cordial as I replied to them with irritation oozing from my pores...after all, didn't I ask them to do this the night before? If only my response ended there...it did not.

The hubster, being exceptionally intelligent, decided to go put gas in the vehicle and get cash from the ATM while this drama was unfolding at home. He really should have stayed away longer, but I suppose he ran out of things to do...because he came back and I made sure he was aware of the situation. If you are imagining a scene of intense fellowship here, you are very perceptive. The intensity was on my part because he, like the intelligent man he is, remained quiet, listening to me rant.

As if I haven't exposed myself enough here, it gets worse...now, if any men have made it this far I commend you, for this post has hormones written all over it, and it's about to get even more hormonal because I'm going to talk about stuff like bad hair and fat days...consider yourself warned:)

I was sitting on my makeup stool in front of the mirror when the hubster came in and asked me this question, "when are you going to be ready to go?" I responded, "look at me! I look awful! I can't fix my hair right (new layers from my haircut) and my summer clothes are too tight, not to mention the fact I am alabaster white, how can I wear capri's looking like this?!" I was holding an eyeshadow and eyeshadow brush, which I proceeded to throw with great vengeance, because really, this is the best way to express to him I am angry...whatever!

The eyeshadow goes flying out our bedroom door and into the living room where it bounces off the glass top on the coffee table, making a sharp ping sound as it hits. In my head I'm wondering if it nicked the glass and I'm also wondering if the eyeshadow is crumbled into a gazillion pieces, because it is quite costly warpaint in which I really don't want to see ruined. But, no, I will not show my concern for the table or eyeshadow, because that would signify remorse to the hubster, which I'm not ready to show...yet.

The hubster, still in his intelligence, goes and recovers the brush and eyeshadow and returns them to me. I continue to rant and now both girls are in serious get ready mode because they are scared into submission at this point (which goes against all the new parenting principles I have put into practice through my quest to Love on Purpose. See the parenting posts for more explanation on that.)

Surprisingly enough, my hair turns out to be lovely and the outfit I selected minimized my pallor. But I was still not ready to retreat and repent. We load into the car. I glance (maybe glare) over at the hubster and ask through seething teeth, "aren't you going to pray over us and the vehicle before we go?" To which he responded, "I already came out here and did while you were getting ready." Yep, I bet he did, I bet he added in a few prayers for me as well. And so begins our lovely family weekend...and have I mentioned it's Good Friday?

We are driving along and, amazingly enough, I hear God speak to me. Sometimes in these situations He is quiet until I confess and repent, but this time, in His graciousness He didn't let me stew for long...after all, He desired for our family time to be filled with love and joy and He knew I would set the tone...my attitude had a great deal to do with rather or not we would have an enjoyable trip.

So, here I am riding along, having dialogue in my head with God. He lovingly points out the obvious, I need to confess to Him, then confess to my family and ask their forgiveness. He is patient with me and I confess quietly to Him, but I am still not ready to eat a big piece of humble pie with the fam. He goes on to say He wants me to blog about this episode. Oh great, sure God, really...I mean REALLY? Do I really have to blog about every trip I make to the woodshed with You? To this question He gently reminded me of a trip to the woodshed just two weeks ago that He didn't require of me to make public...YET.

I believe He asks me to be real with you guys because He moves through it. I could make My Soul Sings all about the good Christian stuff. My posts could paint a picture of me living a submitted life to Christ. They could make it sound like I have it all together or they can be real and transparent. I choose real and transparent because it is the desire of my heart to relate to others not only am I victorious saint, I am a saint who also struggles.

As I have said before, through my honesty I hope you are encouraged to live a life of victory. Many have shared with me they think it's too hard and they don't know where to start. I know it can be hard to jumpstart, but you can do it!

We can either wallow in the darkness or we can constantly look to Jesus whose blood washes away all our sin. It is a finished work. We can either take the gift or we can stay in the pit. I choose to take the gift. Yes, it requires of me repentance, it requires of me to address the negative issues as they rise to the surface...but the relationship I have with Him is worth every second of the woodshed. Might I add the woodshed I refer to isn't a place of condemnation or punishment, but of discipline which trains and teaches...He is always gentle!

Moody Mama has once again been retired. My next inner healing focus will be to dig up what triggers me about family trips...Moody Mama has made appearances before around vacations. From my experience in inner healing this is a sign of a deeper issue. What is suppose to be a relaxing, family time can turn into something ugly real quick. Papa God is ready to meet me in that place of pain...I'll let you know someday the results of this meeting:)

Living free of condemnation and guilt of Moody Mama makes My Soul Sing!