In the Shower with Jesus

Hopefully the title of this post doesn't offend anyone, because if truth be told; and you are a believer, you are IN CHRIST and there's no where you go that He doesn't;)  I had a shower epiphany this morning.  Now, you guys can count yourself blessed I don't share all my shower 'epiphanies' in blog posts.  The shower seems to be the place where He speaks to me the most often.  Occasionally, He will awaken me from sleep during the night, but I don't always get up and listen.  He knows me well; so, in the shower it is:)

This morning's insight was so seemingly random.  I suppose the timing might become clearer to me in the days to come, but if it doesn't, I'll just count it as an insight He wanted to show me 'just because.'  He can do that, ya know?  Just because He loves talking to us!

He took me back to the junior high lunch table and some remarks a boy a year older than me said to me, more than once.  The comments were rude, degrading, explicit, sexual and a direct assault on my physical body.

This wasn't a totally new memory for me to re-visit.  When I went through inner healing this memory surfaced and I forgave the boy for his disparaging remarks.  It's a healed memory; I can know this because the thought of it doesn't bring any pain.  It remains part of my history, but it no longer defines who I am.

As I was picturing the setting in my imagination the question struck me, "why did I continue to sit at lunch with this group of people?"  I honestly can't remember any of the other 'players,' just this one offensive (older) boy and his remarks to me.  I can only assume we had mutual friends, which placed us at the same table, because I know for certain there were no assigned seats.

It was like Jesus was showing me this picture, but He wasn't really saying anything about it.  This is when I realized I would not put myself in that situation currently.  I wouldn't continue to expose myself to someone who didn't respect me.  Would I be kind to them?  Yes.  Would I go out of my way to reach out to them?  In the words of my 16 year old, 'probs not.'  Would I sit at the lunch table with them?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I think Jesus wanted me to see how far I've come, from self-hatred and no value or respect for myself, to healthy boundaries with those who don't see me for who I really am.  From a victim mindset to one of an overcomer.

A victim doesn't see their worth.  They don't expect to be respected by others; because, quite frankly, they don't respect themselves.  I've said this many times, but it bears repeating...one sets the standard for which one can receive love/respect/honor.  To the degree you love/respect/honor yourself is the degree others will love, respect and honor you.

In the case of this boy at the lunch table, for years his remarks rang through my head and I believed them to be true.  In reality, they were quite false.  From his remarks I formed the belief of many other lies, escalating in depth from the one he spoke over me.  Do I blame him?  Nope.  You see, we choose what to believe.  Sure, as a young teenage girl I was more vulnerable to deception than I am now, but still, it was my choice.

Not really sure why I'm sharing this with you today.  It's always my prayer that what I share will bring hope to someone currently struggling with where I've been.  It's just another way I relish in trampling on the work of the enemy:)  What he (satan) meant for my harm and destruction, Papa God turned into a platform for me to share truth.  Oh, the redemption and restoration of my Papa God makes MY SOUL SING!

Attack or Pruning?

I have blogged about this topic before, but feel Holy Spirit nudging me to blog about it again in greater detail.

Consider these statements:

"Satan is after me."

"Satan is at it again."

"I know I am doing something right for the Lord, because I feel satan attacking me."

"Satan sure knows how to get me where it hurts."

"If you are working for the Lord, satan will come after you."

Is it possible by making these statements you are not honoring or lifting up the name of Jesus, but glorifying an enemy whose power was taken away at the cross? In essence bringing him the very attention he desired over God that got him thrown out of heaven?

Let's look at a couple of scriptures and see what it is satan desired.

Isaiah 14:14 (NLT) "I will climb to the highest heavens and be like the Most High." Satan wanted to be like God. Isn't it awesome the very thing he wanted, God desired for man to obtain? We are admonished in scripture to be imitators of Christ (Eph 5:1) and we are seated in heavenly places (Eph 2:6)! Just think how this torments satan!!!!! We were created to bring God glory by doing greater works than Jesus!!! (see John 14:12) When we imitate Christ with a heart of humility, God is glorified!

Luke 4:7 (NASB) "Therefore if You worship before me, it shall all be Yours." Satan had the audacity to ask Jesus to worship him! For the full story and context read Luke 4:1-12.

I explained in this post and this post how the fall of man impacted our authority and how the finished work of Jesus gave it back to us. In this post I want to explain the two different ways we become entrapped in bondage to sin either by captivity or imprisonment.

Isaiah 61:1 (NIV) "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

I want to camp out in the last sentence of this AWESOME verse! "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

Friends, that is something to get HAPPY about right there!

Let's look at the differences between a "captive" and a "prisoner" in this context.

A captive is one who is made or held prisoner due to someone else's sin; one who was sinned against. For example a victim of abuse would be a captive. A child isn't willfully molested, thus they are a captive, being held against their will.

A prisoner is one who is being held as punishment for a wrong. In this context a prisoner is one who has willfully sinned. In this case we willfully give up our God given authority by opening the door to satan to work in our life through our sin. Simply put, when I sin I invite the enemy to come alongside me, which places me in bondage. Until I repent, break the cycle of sin and apply the finished work of the cross in my life the enemy will use my sin to torment me and keep me in bondage.

How does one who has been a captive go from being imprisoned because of someone else's sin into being a prisoner due to their own sin? Unforgiveness would be one way. In the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18 unforgiveness leads to torment. The jailers in Matthew 18:34 are also referred to as torturers in some translations. Guess whose payroll the torturers are on...satan's!

Another way a captive can go to being a prisoner is through forming ungodly beliefs (aka lies) based on what has happened to them. For example if a child is molested they may form the ungodly belief that all adults are capable of molesting, leading them to not trust. If they carry this belief into adulthood it will paralyze them in relationships and torment them for years, unless they allow the Lord to heal this place of pain in their heart.

The good news is Jesus paid for the release of both the captive and the prisoner! It is NOT the will of God for anyone to remain in bondage to any type of sin! It is always our choice!

If you are a captive who is remaining in a victim mentality you are not making a choice to allow the God of the universe to heal you and restore you. But Amy, it's hard, you don't know what they did to me. You are right, I don't, but you can either stay in captivity or you can allow Jesus to minister and heal you. His beaten and bloodied body paid for your release on the cross, but it will always be your choice. The garden began with a choice and there will always be two trees in our garden. Which tree will you choose?

I hope this has given you some insight into ways we can empower the enemy.

Truth: The enemy can not force himself upon us. He must have been given access. He gains access through sin.

Truth: The enemy is horrified of us when we are walking in our God given identity as sons and daughters of the Most High. When we are walking in our identity and authority he is ABSOLUTELY POWERLESS!

Truth: If I am lifting up the name of JESUS satan must flee. James 4:7 says, "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." How do we resist the devil? We stand on truth, not only with words but in our actions and Godly choices. If I have opened the door to sin, the enemy has access. His access is taken away through repentance and forgiveness. Resist sin and you are resisting the enemy!

I heard a sermon recently describing using our identity and authority in resisting the enemy. The speaker used an illustration of us running from the enemy like he was a Doberman Pinscher, when really he is a chihuahua. I'll let that illustration speak for itself:)

Friends, I am not ignorant of spiritual warfare. It is real and I am not making light of it. Quite the contrary, I'm giving you some tools to use to stand in victory. The enemy is like a lion seeking whom he may devour (I Peter 5:8.) All I am saying is, you don't have to allow him to devour you. If you have Jesus, you have power. You have authority. You have choices.

Stop running scared at the first sign of the enemy and stand up to him with the breastplate of righteousness, belt of truth, gospel of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation and sword of the Spirit!

I am coming to realize the full armor of God is more than just something you "pray on." It is a lifestyle and it is part of our identity. Once again it is a choice...you choose to wear it or not.

Does satan know your weak areas? You bet he does. Might I suggest to you the next time you are feeling like you are under attack to ask these questions. First, is this an area in which I have given satan authority through sin or holding onto unforgiveness? Second, what is the lie I am believing?

Many times we are quick to say we are under attack when really we are entering into a season of pruning where the Lord has allowed our circumstances and situations to turn up the heat. So, ask this question of the Lord. "God, is this the enemy or are you trying to burn away a part of me that isn't like You?" Ouch? I know. I certainly have been quick to blame satan when really God is just shining the light on an area of my life where there is sin. It's easier to blame the enemy than it is to take responsibility for our sin. Not fun and not pretty, but on the other side I promise you will look a little more like Jesus. Victory is mighty sweet:)

So, next time you are feeling pressured or "attacked" try lifting up the name of Jesus before giving any credit to the enemy. Allow the Lord to search your heart, revealing any wickedness there (see Psalm 139:23-24.) This is what standing firm against evil looks like.

I love the quote, "what we focus on, we empower." Friends, I choose to focus on my Jesus! Who do your words and actions say you are focused on? Hmmmm, something to think about:)

We are not to be ignorant of the schemes of the enemy, but we also aren't to give him glory by giving him credit for things in our life that are the result of our poor choices.

If you are struggling with discerning between "attack" or pruning I would love to help you and pray with you. Please do not hesitate to e-mail me at www.amydover@iggm.org or message me through Facebook. Helping others learn and discover their identity in Christ is my passion. Identity gives us power over the works of darkness...Jesus gives us power over the works of darkness and this makes my soul gloriously SING!

***I have purposefully used a lowercase "s" when using the name of satan. He isn't worthy of anything more!

At the Foot of the Cross

When is the last time you visited the foot of the cross? Was it at your salvation? A weekend retreat? When someone you love was very ill and needed a miracle? After a moving sermon during an altar call?

For me, it was yesterday morning. No frills, no pomp, no moving sermon or fancy worship service...no manipulating pastor with good intentions to move his flock closer to Jesus. No, none of that, just a hurting heart and a need to lay it down at His feet.

I knew I was hurt, even angry. What I didn't realize is I needed to forgive. A phone call from a sweet sister who asked the question, "how are you?" was all it took for the waterworks to begin. My reply, "I'm a mess." She asked, "what are you a mess about?" Me, "I don't know."

I got my breath and then my heart started to speak. The issues were soon defined and out in the open. Her reply, "well, Amy, you know the first thing you are going to need to do is forgive."

Really? Forgive? Something I walk people through on a weekly basis and it hadn't even crossed my mind I needed it in my own situation! Yes, we really do need the body (of Christ) to guide us along the narrow path when our "stuff" (aka baggage) is blocking our ability to see and hear God's direction for ourselves. Forgiveness is exactly what was needed.

Holding on to un-forgiveness will almost always block your intimacy with the Father. Now, if you aren't intimate with Him to begin with, you may not be able to relate to that statement. Building an intimate relationship with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit has been my life purpose the last few years and I definitely recognize when there is a block.

There is nothing more discouraging and frustrating then feeling I can't connect with Him. When all I can pray is, "oh, God" and it is seemingly quiet on the other end of the dialogue. Because that is what prayer should be, a dialogue, between you and Him. If we stay focused on ourselves and our "stuff," prayer will be all about our needs/wants and we will completely miss out on the relationship He wants with us. If we are focused on Him, it will be a time of dialogue. He will speak to your heart. One of the goals of *inner healing* is to develop this kind of intimacy with our Daddy.

Where were we...oh yes, forgiveness. So, as I sat at my kitchen counter with my cup of coffee, I started to forgive, "I choose to forgive (name here) for (offense here) and how it made me feel (list of feelings/emotions tied to the offense.) I cancel the debt they owed me to (what they should have done/or my perception of what they should have done, or not done.) Lord, I break agreement with any judgments I made about them and ask you to forgive me. I release them from all my expectations to meet my needs. I turn to You, Father God, to meet my needs and heal all my pain. In Jesus Name, Amen."

I went through this process for each person and then heard the Father gently say, "forgive yourself." Yeah, right! God, I really need to go brush my teeth and get ready to leave for my appointment this morning...catch that self forgiveness later, okay?

I went about my business and couldn't get away from the gentle nudge of Holy Spirit saying, "forgive yourself."

Knowing I wanted my peace back I complied, reluctantly. It went something like this:

I choose to forgive myself for being hard on myself, for resenting myself for allowing this situation to come between me and Papa God. I choose to forgive myself for punishing myself with verbal condemnation and condemning thoughts. I choose to forgive myself for not accepting God's forgiveness in this matter, by making a choice to hold onto the pain. I choose to forgive myself for speaking curses over myself and those involved. For losing my patience and yelling. I choose to forgive myself for opening the door to the enemy in my life, even though I know better! I choose to forgive myself for going to bed angry. I choose to forgive myself for not trusting God to work this together for my good. I choose to forgive myself for setting standards that are too high for me or anyone else in my life to meet and for withholding love because they don't meet them.

Ugly, huh? See why I needed to verbalize that and lay it at His feet?

So, again, I ask you, "when was the last time you visited the foot of the cross?" In inner healing circles we call this "doing kingdom business." DKB is a lifestyle. It isn't just for those moments of intense emotional pull mentioned at the beginning of this post. As soon as Holy Spirit brings it to your mind, you need to make the effort and the choice (oh, it's definitely a choice.)

More often than not it will be done in the presence of One, perhaps at your kitchen counter, maybe in the car, in your quiet time...although there are times when you need the body to come along side you and be your eyes and ears.

James 5:16, "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

If you've not experienced this power in prayer maybe it is because you have isolated yourself. You've tried to handle it quietly, on your own and without the support of others. Maybe you're ashamed, embarrassed, or afraid. It's why I wrote this post. I want to share with you the freedom that comes with transparency. Light exposes darkness...every time!

None of us are perfect. Releasing pain, un-forgiveness, sin, etc. is part of every Christian's walk. There is no condemnation in it, only healing, forgiveness and FREEDOM!

I invite you to the foot of the cross...a place of restoration and redemption. To listen to a song about the foot of the cross go here and listen to this beautiful song by Kathryn Scott.

Releasing and receiving forgiveness at the foot of the cross makes My Soul Sing!

*Inner Healing* If you are interested in receiving inner healing or learning more about what inner healing is, please visit Growing in Grace Ministries website at www.iggm.org. Check out the Sozo ministry link. I invite you to come and experience freedom, healing and deliverance!