In the Shower with Jesus

Hopefully the title of this post doesn't offend anyone, because if truth be told; and you are a believer, you are IN CHRIST and there's no where you go that He doesn't;)  I had a shower epiphany this morning.  Now, you guys can count yourself blessed I don't share all my shower 'epiphanies' in blog posts.  The shower seems to be the place where He speaks to me the most often.  Occasionally, He will awaken me from sleep during the night, but I don't always get up and listen.  He knows me well; so, in the shower it is:)

This morning's insight was so seemingly random.  I suppose the timing might become clearer to me in the days to come, but if it doesn't, I'll just count it as an insight He wanted to show me 'just because.'  He can do that, ya know?  Just because He loves talking to us!

He took me back to the junior high lunch table and some remarks a boy a year older than me said to me, more than once.  The comments were rude, degrading, explicit, sexual and a direct assault on my physical body.

This wasn't a totally new memory for me to re-visit.  When I went through inner healing this memory surfaced and I forgave the boy for his disparaging remarks.  It's a healed memory; I can know this because the thought of it doesn't bring any pain.  It remains part of my history, but it no longer defines who I am.

As I was picturing the setting in my imagination the question struck me, "why did I continue to sit at lunch with this group of people?"  I honestly can't remember any of the other 'players,' just this one offensive (older) boy and his remarks to me.  I can only assume we had mutual friends, which placed us at the same table, because I know for certain there were no assigned seats.

It was like Jesus was showing me this picture, but He wasn't really saying anything about it.  This is when I realized I would not put myself in that situation currently.  I wouldn't continue to expose myself to someone who didn't respect me.  Would I be kind to them?  Yes.  Would I go out of my way to reach out to them?  In the words of my 16 year old, 'probs not.'  Would I sit at the lunch table with them?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I think Jesus wanted me to see how far I've come, from self-hatred and no value or respect for myself, to healthy boundaries with those who don't see me for who I really am.  From a victim mindset to one of an overcomer.

A victim doesn't see their worth.  They don't expect to be respected by others; because, quite frankly, they don't respect themselves.  I've said this many times, but it bears repeating...one sets the standard for which one can receive love/respect/honor.  To the degree you love/respect/honor yourself is the degree others will love, respect and honor you.

In the case of this boy at the lunch table, for years his remarks rang through my head and I believed them to be true.  In reality, they were quite false.  From his remarks I formed the belief of many other lies, escalating in depth from the one he spoke over me.  Do I blame him?  Nope.  You see, we choose what to believe.  Sure, as a young teenage girl I was more vulnerable to deception than I am now, but still, it was my choice.

Not really sure why I'm sharing this with you today.  It's always my prayer that what I share will bring hope to someone currently struggling with where I've been.  It's just another way I relish in trampling on the work of the enemy:)  What he (satan) meant for my harm and destruction, Papa God turned into a platform for me to share truth.  Oh, the redemption and restoration of my Papa God makes MY SOUL SING!

Crisis Prevention

I have been reminded more than once this week God speaks our language. He can use the tiniest, most seemingly insignificant detail and use it to reach us. He loves us that much! I even witnessed Him use me in a ministry session to speak the language of the recipient without me being aware of it until after the fact. God speaks and walls come down!

I'm no stranger to hearing God's voice through the mundane things of life. I've even blogged about it here, here, here and here.

This week He gave me yet another picture using something ordinary...nails, my nails, more specifically my chipping, breaking, splitting nails. I recently started having my nails done with a fairly new technique called Shellac. This isn't necessarily critical for you to know, but I wanted to brag on my friend and nail tech, Bobbie Nation. Bobbie has a heart of gold. Sitting in her chair getting your nails done leaves you feeling not only pretty, but well loved:)

I wasn't scheduled to have them re-done until next week, but I was having a crisis, a nail crisis. I sent Bobbie a text saying, "I'm having a nail crisis! Can you get me in earlier?" I had to wait a few days. The thing with Shellac is even though they are your natural nails, the polish doesn't come off with regular remover. Not something I could really take of myself. It was really bothering me that my nails were looking so raggedy:)

This seemingly superficial post is going to get serious...stay with me:)

In the world of inner healing (lay men's terms, healing of the heart (emotional/spiritual) pain) we often receive requests for ministry that are URGENT. This especially happens when people find themselves in crisis mode. They call and want to be seen yesterday.

My mentor, friend and colleague, Vikki Waters, has trained me well in not allowing others' crisis to become my crisis. There will always be someone needing help and boundaries are crucial when you are involved in ministry.

What I have learned is people in crisis aren't always in a place to receive deep healing. The crisis is all they see and they want it fixed. In reality the best time to receive ministry or inner healing is when life is relatively calm...perhaps even avoiding many of the "crisis" times all together.

If I have any males that are reading this blog, which started out like a piece on "Toddlers and Tiaras," I want you to know I haven't forgotten you. Maybe you can't relate to my nail crisis analogy, but you can relate to car maintenance. Simple things like oil changes can PREVENT major vehicle issues down the road. I'm no car expert, but not changing your oil regularly can lead to some high price engine issues, among other things.

Let's put this in a real life scenario of marriage. Marriage takes work. Marriage is an investment. What can happen if you don't invest enough time and energy in your marriage? Potential boredom, loneliness, un-fulfillment (sexually and/or emotionally,) adultery and loss of relationship are just a few issues that come to mind.

How can these pitfalls be avoided? Maintenance, i.e. date nights, weekend getaways, short walks together, regular sex (very important!!!) and a safe environment in which to talk and share feelings openly without fear of being ignored, chastised or yelled at.

Bottom line and the point of this post is to encourage each of you reading this to be prudent. If you are struggling in an area don't wait for the bottom to drop out before you do something about it. Although I believe nothing is impossible for God and it's never too late for Him to redeem and restore, the truth is, when humans are involved there isn't always a willingness or desire for healing/restoration/redemption/reconciliation. Reconciliation takes both parties to be successful.

As I've said before and I will say again...on your very best day, you are only in control of YOU! Which means you can only do something about YOU! Expecting others around you to change to solve your problems will find you waiting a lifetime and will carry with it much frustration.

What are you waiting for...a crisis? I've been in several crisis times myself and they are NO fun. As far as it has to do with me, I want to maintain, prevent and go after what is broken and allow Holy Spirit to do "maintenance" on my heart and avoid crisis as much as possible! And when crisis does comes, because it will, my hope is to be able to handle it with the mind of Christ, from heaven to earth.

I am ever so thankful Papa God speaks in our language. He doesn't pass up an opportunity to minister to our hearts, but the key is, are you listening? I invite you to open the eyes and ears of your heart and look for Him in the mundane, the simple things in life. My Soul Sings because He uses it all, little and big, to bring Him glory and to bring me into a closer relationship with Him! He is so GOOD!