When the sadness comes...

I set out when I started this blog to be real. I'm a pretty real person anyway, but there is something about being real with those you know and being real with an internet audience that takes it up a notch, eh? There is also a difference between being real about events of the past and being real in current situations. It's now time for me to be real about the here and the now. It is my desire to be HOT, honest, open and transparent...but it isn't always possible when the situation involves more than just myself. I must honor those in the story, besides myself and that is the case in this post. So forgive the lack of details, just go with me here. This will be about what to do with the sadness, not what caused it.

The last two days I have battled with some pretty intense sadness and grief over some news I received. I am a firm believer in what the enemy intended for bad, God will use for good...and this is the reason I am sharing my heart on an issue that is still very raw and current. I invite you to share this post with those grieving or battling depression and overwhelming sadness...maybe, just maybe, my journey will give them a glimpse of hope.

I spent all of yesterday mourning, grieving and processing the sadness that seemed to have overtaken me. I longed to pray, but didn't have the words. I longed to worship, but there wasn't a song in my heart. I longed for the presence of God to overwhelm me with His love...so I did what I could do and I sought Him. I spent some time reading in the gospels, chapter upon chapter, following the ministry of Jesus. I have to tell you, it felt like I was with Him and that is exactly where I wanted to be. But even then I still felt the sadness was consuming me and I didn't like it at all.

Later in the day my mentor and dear friend called to check on me. During our conversation she gave me permission to grieve. It wasn't until she said, "Amy, it's okay to grieve" that I realized I needed permission to do so. I had been beating myself up all day over what I thought was me allowing the sadness to consume me. I started questioning my strength in the Lord...was I a complete sham? Was I all talk about the joy of the Lord being my strength? When the rubber meets the road could I still maintain my joy, freedom and peace in the Lord?

Maybe you are there with me and you need to hear, "you have permission to grieve." There, I just gave it to you...permission...to cry, to weep, to wail, to mourn, to lament. If you need further permission consider Ecclesiastes 3:4, "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance."

Grieving doesn't mean you are any less of a Christian. God recognizes there is a season for grief. But, and here is where I'm going to get into your business (aren't you glad it's in the privacy of cyberspace?) Grieving should only last for a season. Now, I'm not going to define the length of a season, because, honestly, I don't know what the length of a season is. Perhaps it differs for each individual. I don't, however, feel like a season is years. If you've been grieving for years, friends that isn't healthy, nor is it God's plan for you.

I Thessalonians 4:13 tells us we aren't to grieve like the rest of men(unbelievers) who have no hope. Praise God, grieving is only for a season because of the hope offered to us in Jesus Christ!

I don't know how long this season will be for me...hopefully not too long. I gave my friend (mentioned above) permission to slap me silly if I lingered in sadness for a undue amount of time. Which brings me to my next point. We each need to be in relationship with other believers who will hold us accountable, not only in other aspects of our Christian walk, but during seasons of grief. Surface relationships who smile and tell us everything will be okay are not the kind of relationships that will pull us up from the miry pit. If you don't have people in your life who will "slap you silly" you need to get some!

Those of you reading this know which category you fall into...those needing permission to grieve or those needing to be "slapped silly." I pray whichever you are, the Holy Spirit is speaking to you. It's quite possible you are in neither category but you know someone who is and you are in the position to help them. Seek God's wisdom in the matter, He will show you if that is the case.

I love the divine exchange found in Isaiah 61:3, "and provide for those who grieve in Zion to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair."

One of my favorite authors and pastors, Bill Johnson has a quote I just love. It goes something like this, "you can possess as much of God as you are willing to jealously guard." Those of you I know personally know I am passionate about the freedom and joy found in my relationship with my Papa. I will not stay in an ungodly season of grief, because I jealously guard the JOY and FREEDOM my Jesus bought for me on the cross....it was a costly gift and I treasure it deep in my spirit...and this is why My Soul (still) Sings in the midst of the sadness!