Sounds fruity to me!

As I sit on my sofa this morning I can hear the contractor in our master bathroom.  We are a little over a week into a remodel and I'm already anxious to see it complete.  

Last month I went to hear one of my all time favorite speakers in Knoxville, Graham Cooke.  I've referenced him before in several blogs, but mainly this one.  

It's important for us to realize God isn't dealing in negatives, because He dealt with sin once, and for all, on the cross (I Peter 3:18.)  He doesn't see what is wrong in your life, He just sees what is missing in your encounter/experience with Him.  

How I long to see myself and others how heaven sees them!  I don't know about you, but the negative about a person is more obvious to me sometimes than the positive.  This is truly an area where we need to line up our thoughts to His and remember, His ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8.)  

Graham had us ask Holy Spirit this question, "which fruit(s) of the Spirit do You want to develop in my life right now?"

Let's take a look at the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law."

What I have come to realize is we often try to manifest the fruits of the Spirit in our own strength, by good behavior or following the rules.  We've missed the most critical aspect...they are FRUIT.  

Fruit can be defined as "anything produced or accruing; product, result or effect; return or profit."  Fruit is produced by abiding in the Spirit.  You don't go to the store and decide today you're going to purchase some love, peace and joy...no, you go to Him and ask, "Father, I want to manifest the fruit of love, peace and joy.  What am I missing in my knowledge (encounter/experience) of You that I need in order to walk in the fruit of love, peace and joy?"  Perhaps you need to experience His deep life changing love for you before you can love the unlovable?

What if your situations and circumstances were designed to develop the fruits in you?  This would certainly require you to seek God, spend time with Him and gain His perspective...requiring fellowship with Him...He wants fellowship with us, it's why He created you and me!

So, back to the question, "which fruit(s) of the Spirit do You want to develop in my life right now?"

When I asked Him this question his response was, "patience."  Not what I wanted to hear...at all.  C'mon, Father, can't we work on developing some more joy, what about love?  Patience?  Seriously?

Well, friends, He obviously knows what He is doing, because patience is definitely an area in which I need an upgrade.  Several situations in my life right now are teaching me patience, but the most obvious (and the least personal) is walking through having our master bathroom remodeled.  Admittedly, I've become accustomed to my roomy bathroom and the convenience of awakening in the night to go to the potty and not having to venture very far to do so.  Currently my toilet is sitting in the middle of the bathroom floor.  Patience.

Remodels hardly ever go off without a hitch...you encounter issues you weren't expecting (perhaps a dead rat under your shower, mold under your floor or uneven walls:/)  Patience.  

If knowing yourself is important, one thing I know about me is this, it probably wouldn't be a great plan for us to build a house or do remodeling very often:)  It's just not my cup of tea.  But, one thing I do know, I'm claiming my upgrade in the patience department...not wasting my opportunity to become more like my Daddy...He is the most patient of ALL!

So, what are you waiting for?  Ask Him the question, "Holy Spirit, which fruit of the Spirit do You want to develop in my life right now?"  He will answer...Holy Spirit is the most excellent Teacher!  Start looking at your current circumstances in light of His answer and watch how much clarity you will receive.  Instead of seeing through a lens of negativity, see through heaven's eyes and watch how He transforms you from glory to glory!

Living a life seeking more of heaven, growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ makes MY SOUL SING!

If you enjoy reading My Soul Sings, please consider following this blog and sharing it with your friends!  Many blessings!

I won't try to fix you

When I stop, seek and listen, He almost always speaks. It's the stopping and seeking part I've struggled with the last few weeks. Feeling disconnected from fellowship with my Maker is not a feeling I like, but alas, I find myself in that place from time to time. I certainly know how to get out, but it sometimes 'feels' like I'm too far gone or the problem I'm facing is too big...there it is, that word 'feels.' Just a reminder we can't navigate this Christian walk based on our feelings...they often misrepresent the truth:)

Yesterday was not a good day for me and it was Easter, so I hated all the more the yuckiness I felt in my heart. I like peace and peace was far from me. Knowing I wasn't going to magically be delivered from my pit of despair without divine intervention (and me purposing to ask Him for help) I sent a close friend a message briefly outlining my woes and asking for prayer.

My short take on Galatians 6:2 is we sometimes need a brother or sister in Christ to bear our burdens when we can't seem to carry them to Jesus on our own. We aren't meant to carry them, but give them to Him in exchange for His easy yoke...but there have been times in my life I haven't had the strength to even bring them to His feet...I have experienced someone taking (bearing) it on my behalf; truly a beautiful experience.

Back to my request for prayer...this was a friend who knows me and knows me well. She has earned the right to speak into my life and I hers. We have trust. We have relationship. She responded, as I would expect from her, with a short message of "got it."

This morning she sent me some advice about the situation. Good advice. I agreed with it, actually the same advice I had given to others in the past. I tried to ignore the fact it was bothering me, but it wasn't going away. After a blissful morning seeking the Lord, I heard Him.

"It bothers you because it feels like she is trying to fix you. You don't need fixing, you need intercession, love and support." There it was...He was right on...Holy Spirit is BRILLIANT, you know;) I made a mental note to be more clear when requesting prayer in the future to state what I need, even prefacing my request with a 'I'm not looking for advice here, I just need your prayers and love.'

Of course the revelation didn't end here! There's always the look in the mirror He seems to ask me to make. In His sweet Daddy God voice, "Amy, you've been the fixer when others needed you to just listen and pray too." Of course I have! OUCH!!!!

Many readers don't know me personally, but many of you do...so, consider this a public apology if I have ever made you feel like I was trying to fix you. It's in my DNA to want to help people. After all it's why I life coach. I have even received a prophetic word that I am a problem solver. Because of this call and strong desire to help others, I have to be diligent not to step over the line from friend/confidant to fixer:) Sometimes people come to me for advice, but many times they just want someone to listen and love them where they are; a safe place, free from judgment and criticism.

As I was pondering this revelation and application to my life personally, I kept hearing the Cold Play song Fix You over and over in my head. I finally pulled it up on YouTube and listened to it several times. I've always liked the song. I know a little of the background of why it was written. Basically, it's about a person who wants to save someone they love from pain. The lyric 'I will try to fix you' reverberated in my spirit all morning.

How many people have I tried to fix? Out of love? Sometimes. Out of a need to control? Possibly. Because I once believed it was my job? Maybe.

He wanted me to share this in a blog. Why? I'm not sure. Perhaps someone is reading this and you feel stuck trying to fix someone in your life and you are frustrated because it's not working...friend, it's not suppose to work. It's not my job, or your job, to fix anyone. Our responsibility is us. Work on you and give others the best you, you've got. Work on loving, not fixing, and remember, love listens...are you listening?

My soul is singing as I type this because now I am more free to love and listen. While I'm listening I'm going to purpose to ask others what they need and in turn communicate my needs more plainly. When people come to me with issues, I will ask them, "what do you need?" I've even asked my teen, "are you wanting advice, or for me to just listen?" Sometimes she wants advice, but many times she just wants me to listen. I can do that:)

When others come to me in times of distress I want them to encounter Jesus... because He is the only ONE capable of fixing anybody!

I am smiling as I realize my mountain that seemed larger than life yesterday doesn't seem so big now, I just needed heavenly perspective on it...which came in my quiet time this morning...and, in the process, He gave me an upgrade and revelation on a topic I wasn't even aware I needed an upgrade in...ha! Papa God, you have an amazing sense of humor...oh, how I love YOU!

Food for Life Part Two

So, if you've been waiting for this second post, you've been waiting since the end of January! My life has been FULL, FULL, FULL! I think it's been a good thing, because in the last couple of months I've gotten more information and made some adjustments to my eating habits:) I want to share some of those with you today.

If you haven't read Part One, start there, which is here.

When I first embarked on this new healthier lifestyle I was 99% vegan. Vegans don't eat anything that once had a face or came from a mom and a dad...or anything derived from something that had a face or mom or dad:) For several weeks my exception was honey. Honey isn't vegan and I consumed it several times a week.

In every aspect of my life I believe in balance. I want to steward my body the way God intended for it to be stewarded and there were some disconnects with eating a vegan lifestyle and walking in freedom. I had an inner conflict which asked the question, "if I'm not suppose to eat meat or animal products, why did God make them?" He also made our bodies with enzymes and acids that specifically are there to break down animal protein. This left me in a quandary. The science in documentaries such as Food Inc. and Forks over Knives were contradicting what I felt Holy Spirit was trying to teach me. Science should compliment faith, not talk us out of it. Which led me to some very valuable information I want to share with you today.

The problem with the Standard American Diet (SAD) isn't with our consumption of animal products...it's with how those animals are raised and fed that is the problem. For example, cows were made to consume grass. They have four stomachs to complete this process! Grass fed cows are leaner and meat from them is easily digested by humans. Hmmm....only about 3% of our beef in America is grass fed. This throws a serious wrench in the studies done in Forks Over Knives...one reliable nutritionist I follow states the statistics and study samples in FOK were all done using corn fed beef! Although I am a fan of FOK and have learned much from their program; I don't call that a balanced study.

Now, friends and readers, I'm not trying to stir the pot with this post or start an argument...I just want to present you with information with the goal of being balanced in perspective.

In talking with people I have found the whole prefers corn fed beef for taste. Yes, grass fed beef is blander...but I have never liked fatty meat, so I actually prefer it:) It is just a matter of recalibrating your taste buds...if you detox from processed food and fat, chances are, your taste buds will adjust.

With all this being said, I now have in my weekly diet grass fed beef, hormone free/antibiotic free chicken or wild caught fish. There are days I don't consume any animal protein and others where I have it with both lunch and dinner. Why? Because I believe God made them for us to eat. He never intended for our cows to be fed corn, our chickens to be injected with growth hormones and be housed in cages or our oceans to be toxic waste dumps! God also made our bodies to produce an enzyme with the sole purpose of excreting B-12 from animal protein. In a vegan lifestyle B-12 has to be obtained from a supplement. I'm pretty sure they didn't have supplements back in Bible times:)

I have opted to stay away from dairy products. Through this journey I have discovered dairy is incredibly bloating and hard to digest. It is also mucous producing. Occasionally I will have some cheese on pizza, but I always seem to regret it:) Nutritional yeast has become an excellent replacement for parmesan cheese. You can even create a vegan cheese sauce using tahini and nutritional yeast (along with a few other ingredients.)

The bulk of my food intake still consists of fresh fruits and veggies. If given choice of meat or a vegetable plate, I will go with the veggies every time.

I've lost over 20 pounds since embarking on this journey to health. People want to know what diet I'm doing. I always tell them it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. It's my desire to bust the lie the enemy has told us through the media, the latest diet trend, etc that losing weight is about counting calories, carbs or fat. If you want a temporary solution to weight loss, you can buy into that lie...but if you want a lifetime solution to health, eat nutritionally balanced!

I haven't looked into the science of what I'm about to say, but I firmly believe hunger is the body's way of telling us we need something nutritionally speaking. When we answer our body's cry of hunger with empty calories (such as a 100 calorie snack pack or rice cake) we are only temporarily appeasing it. In a couple of hours you will be hungry again because the nutritional need your body was crying out for wasn't met. Change your focus to eating nutritionally packed foods...I challenge you to try out my theory for two weeks and let me know what you think!

I hope this post has answered some questions or given you some "food" for thought...pun intended!

Good choices in all aspects of life is a goal I have. Stewarding my body is an act of obedience. Walking in complete freedom in Christ in this life He has given me is an absolute PASSION of mine...and this makes MY SOUL SING!

Food for Life-Part One

This blog post stems off of one I wrote a few months ago. If you haven't read Chunking the Junk, here is the link.

First, let me make this blatantly clear...I am NOT an expert. The information I will share with you today is the result of hours of research and practical implementation. It's one girl simply sharing with you her journey to healing, wellness and wholeness of body.

To say I have come to the final conclusion on the topic of healthy eating would be at least, ignorant; and at the most, arrogant. I will present to you some conflicting views and I invite you to do what I did, discover what works best for you and your family.

It all began with the purchase of a high speed blender, which led me to discover green smoothies. With the discovery of green smoothies I started researching different fruits, vegetables and herbs and found there truly was healing in food. Hippocrates said it best, "let thy medicine be thy food." He was on to something and it's time for America to wake up and take nutrition seriously! What we eat is killing us, literally!!!!

Many months ago I inquired of my doctor what could be done about the edema (swelling) in my ankles and fingers. His response was, "Nothing. It just comes with age and let's face it, Amy, you're almost 40." This was not okay with me!!!! Seriously, I'm fine with turning 40. I love wisdom and the wisdom that comes with maturity. 40 is alright with me:) But, I wasn't okay with being told it was just part of age.

Of course you know at some point I'm going to bring Jesus into this story, because He is the reason for my very breath. I take scripture seriously when it tells us Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly. I take it seriously when it said by His stripes we were healed. I take it seriously when it said Jesus became the curse for us and took our punishment. I take it seriously when hanging on the cross Jesus said, "It is FINISHED."

What does all that mean? To me it means I can not blame everything bad in this world to the fact it is fallen. The world might be fallen, but I have accepted the gift of salvation which means IT IS FINISHED. I call this living on this side of the cross...I'm not under the curse anymore and if you are a believer in Jesus, you aren't either. Can I get an AMEN!?!

Which leads me to choices. You and I are free to make our own choices. You have a choice what you put in your mouth. Through this journey I have realized what makes me truly free is the freedom to say no to liberties that lead me to bondage. Yes, I am free to eat cake and ice cream...but am I truly free if it leads me to obesity, diabetes and heart disease? Sounds like bondage to me!

Would you put diet coke in your car instead of gas and expect it to run? Of course not! But the average American does that everyday with their body. What we eat is our bodies' fuel. You can't put in junk and expect optimal performance.

Our bodies have the amazing ability to heal and restore, but they need the proper nutrition to do so.

So, through all this I have discovered we have it all wrong. Counting calories, carbs, fat, etc, is NOT the answer! Yes, you might loss weight using these methods, but are you healthy? I kicked dieting to the curb and made my focus good nutrition. Asking the question, am I giving my body what it needs through what I eat? Amazingly, I'm never starving and have lost about 15 pounds! I even have dessert several times a week (healthy dessert, of course.)

For those of you who exercise like it's a full time profession so you can gorge on donuts and fried chicken, more power to you. An accident in 2000 left me with nerve damage in my left leg, so exercise is more challenging for me. Don't get me wrong, exercise is GREAT and WONDERFUL...I'm just saying good nutrition should be its mate:)

After receiving multiple inquiries about my journey, I decided to write a couple of posts and outline what I've done. If you are interested in this lifestyle I advise you to take it S-L-O-W-L-Y! Make changes gradually. Cleaning out your pantry before you acquire some new options will leave you discouraged and more prone to wander back into old destructive eating habits.

Where to start? I started by eliminating soda and artificial sweeteners. Next, I eliminated processed foods. I started buying organic canned beans with no salt or sea salt. Beans are about the only item I purchase now in a can and I plan to eventually eliminate those and buy dry beans in bulk.

Replace breakfast with a green smoothie. There are other breakfast options, but I find the green smoothie to be filling and easy. Even with children you can throw in some spinach and mask it with fruit such as banana and strawberries. Spinach and romaine are the mildest greens to use.

Water, water and more water! Adding fresh lemon juice to your water is a great way to cleanse the liver and it is alkaline to the body. Having a ph balanced body is optimal for preventing disease and healing it. An acidic body makes it prone to disease!

Replace iodized processed salt with sea salt.

Fall in love with fresh produce. Eat a green salad before lunch and dinner. It's great fiber and will help facilitate digestion of heavier foods to follow. "If your salad ain't big enough for two, it ain't big enough for you!" At home I eat my salads from a serving dish:)

To avoid boredom with your salads make sure to have a variety of greens to rotate...anything but iceberg makes for a healthy, vitamin packed salad. Romaine, kale and mixed baby greens are my three favorites. I also use spinach and cabbage. Make your own salad dressing using little to no oil. My favorite right now is lemon juice, pure maple syrup and freshly grated ginger. Sometimes I add some Bragg's Liquid Aminos. Goes especially well on mixed baby greens or kale with plenty of sesame or sunflower seeds sprinkled throughout!

Organic vs Conventional. I use mostly organic greens. There are certain fruits and vegetables you want to buy organic, if possible. If using conventional and it's an item you can peel, you should do so. An example would be cucumbers and apples. The peeling holds so much nutrition, but the chemicals and wax used in conventional produce aren't worth the toxic risk. Here is a list called the dirty dozen.

Ok, so try some of these changes. I don't want to make this post too long, because nobody would want to read it:) I will come back and give you more tips...I promise not to wait too long!

In the meantime here are some great resources you should check out:

Forks Over Knives (documentary and book with recipes)

www.youngonrawfood.com (I'm not 100% raw, but her recipes are really good.)

www.kimberlysynder.net (Her book the Beauty Detox Solution is fabulous.)

Food Inc.

I, personally, have decided to eat very little meat or animal protein in general. I have an occasional piece of fish, hormone free chicken or grass fed beef. There is a study on eating by your blood type. I am type A and according to this study I do best eating a vegetarian diet. In looking at the research presented in The China Study and Forks over Knives it's hard for me to conclude that eating meat is the best for our overall health, with the statistics on heart disease, cancer, diabetes, etc and the mortality rates associated with these diseases. I'll let you decide for yourself. If you do eat meat, remember smaller portions and grass fed beef are better choices.

What have I seen as a result of these lifestyle changes? Weight loss, edema is gone and I can wear my wedding rings again, heartburn gone, no headaches, better sleep, clear head (will talk about this in a future post,) and no more constipation!!! Prior diagnosis of osteoporosis has been downgraded to osteopenia (pre stages of osteoporosis.) Yes, I have had medical treatment for this, but I'm convinced it will continue to improve with my diet changes (more on this later too.)

I found it encouraging to realize once I detoxed from sugar, salt and processed junk my taste buds awakened to the wonders of real food. This stuff simply tastes amazing! Creator God is an awesome chef, a culinary genius! Why did we ever mess with His design? Hmmm.....

Guess I should give you the surgeon general's warning before I sign off...this lifestyle is a personal choice. You can't and shouldn't force it on anyone. My older daughter has chosen to adopt it with me. My husband and younger daughter have not. That's okay! I can still present them with healthier alternatives when cooking at home without violating their right to choose:) Some people don't understand. They see it as rigid and legalistic. Each person has to come to revelation on their own. My purpose in sharing is to simply give you some tools for success should you decide to make some changes.

Because popping a pill for this and that, IS NOT OKAY WITH ME! How about you? Want to get healthy in 2012? Equipping my body to bring glory to Him through Life! It makes my soul sing!

Do you love yourself?

Wow, this blogging hiatus has been so long, blogger has changed interfaces on me!

Wanted to pop on here and talk a little about loving yourself. Papa has really been talking to me lately about love, specifically His love. He has also been showing me His goodness.

The other night I was laying in bed and couldn't sleep because of the overwhelming sense of His goodness coming over me. Basking in His love and goodness rekindled a desire in my heart (which is from Him) to tell the world (or at least those reading this blog) about His love. We complicate the gospel, making it difficult. Actually, the gospel is so simple; Jesus said we are to come as children. Children don't see life through a complicated lens, do they? Children trust and have faith. Hmmm...something to ponder, eh?

Before a person can fully give love they have to know (experience) Love. Let's follow the progression of love. God loved us first (I Jn. 4:19.) We are told to love God first and foremost, with all are being (Mark 12:30.) We are told to love one another as we love ourself (Mark 12:31.)

A few months ago I purchased a graphic tee at Old Navy. On the front, in large letters, it says, "Love Yourself." When I wear it I can count on some strange looks. I can only imagine what people assume. Perhaps they think I am conceited, arrogant, or prideful. It doesn't matter. What matters to me is I really do love myself, but that hasn't always been the case.

Sometime in my early 30s I was faced with the reality I had a huge self-hatred issue. Circumstances in my life brought this ugly fact into the light and over the last decade I have been in the healing process. Self-hatred's tentacles are tight and run deep. I didn't just wake up one day and decide I was going to love myself. No, it was most assuredly a long, tedious, at times ugly process. It began with learning who Christ made me and progressed to a radical heart experience with my Papa's love for me.

I had to dig up and toss out bad theology, replacing it with His truth. Religion had taught me to believe I was no good...the wretch the song refers to...but I now realize it was a lie. Once you have accepted Jesus as your Savior and are on this side of the cross you are no longer a wretch or a sinner. Truth is, God sees you as He sees Jesus. As He is so are we in this world! See I John 4:17.

Jesus was serious when He said, "it is finished" on the cross. Everything was done on the cross, it is a finished work. Our only part is to choose to believe and confess Him as Lord!

Sadly, the majority of the body of Christ is walking around believing they are wretched sinners. They believe they are disappointing God. They struggle with the same sin time and again, cloaked in shame and desperation. I know because I was one of them.

Once I realized I wasn't destined to be a sinner my entire life, everything changed. I know now when I do sin I have an advocate with the Father (see I John 2:1.) I've heard it said the reason we need an advocate (an attorney so to speak) is because we have no reason to sin. In the NIV translation it says "if anybody does sin." If, not when...hmmmm???? We aren't going to dissect that one today;)

It's hard to put into words how powerful the love of God is. The point I am trying to make is His love changes everything, but first you have to receive. I'm not talking about salvation. I believe one can accept Christ as Savior and not really know His love. Knowing His love comes through an intimate relationship with Him.

Many people can't get to the knowing part because they can't get past the wretched sinner part. When you believe the lie you aren't worthy of His love because of sin or your past, it's next to impossible to receive it. Friend, I'm here to tell you, YOU ARE WORTHY! You are worthy because of the sacrifice Jesus made! IT IS FINISHED!!!!

Receive His love. He is waiting for you. Love yourself because you are made in His image. Love others from the overflow that comes from abiding in the love of the Father. It's beautiful! His love is life changing!

Papa, I thank You for Your goodness. I thank You for desiring a relationship with me. I thank You for the ability to enter into Your presence knowing I am clean, righteous, holy and fully loved...and I did nothing to earn it. I thank You for Your love. Your love is so safe and so empowering my desire to sin decreases. I thank You for forgiveness when I do fail. Thank You for Your kindness leading me to repentance. I thank You for loving me as much as You love Jesus! Papa, You make my soul sing and I thank You!

Wives, let's talk about SEX!

I'm giving this blog post a MW rating for "married women." This post will contain mature content intended for women who are married, or about to get married:)

Warning, if you're a TMI* offends me type of person you might want to fore go reading this one...but you're also probably one who needs to read it the most.

As women of faith we've got to get a hold of this one, girls! Forget religiosity and let's get honest. Marriage is under fire! We don't need to be reminded of the divorce rates and the statistics showing the rates are just as high, if not higher, among believers as non-believers. The world is looking to the body of Christ for answers and solutions, but we can't give them when we are just as ensnared in the problem as the rest of the world! What's part of answer? Hey, it may be ALL of the answer...SEX, healthy, God glorifying, marriage enriching, SEX!

I could spend time talking about how God created sex for a husband and wife. I could talk about how the enemy has perverted sex or how our mindsets are skewed on the subject because of media, pop culture, music, etc. But, that's been done already and, really, is it getting us anywhere? I am a find a solution type of girl...after all, the problems have been well identified.

So for this one, let's agree to talk like close girl friends. Wives, I'm hear to tell you to give it up and give it up often! Yes, I just went there! Seriously, every three days is what experts tell us men need!

I can hear the excuses flying through cyberspace as I type this....girls, I've made them myself. I tried the "not tonight, the baby was really clingy today and I'm all touched out." Then the babies became a tween and teen and bedtimes aren't 7:00 anymore and the excuse became, "we can't do that; the girls might walk in on us."

Then, of course, there's the excuse my emotional needs weren't being met, so why meet his physical ones. If only he would...you fill in the blank. It doesn't matter the excuse, they are all rubbish. EXCUSES WON'T IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE AND THEY DEFINITELY WON'T SAVE IT!!!!!!

I don't have all the answers as to why God made men so sexual, but He did and we can either whine about it or embrace it. I'm hear to encourage you to embrace it.

Now, let's get a couple of things out in the open...as if this post wasn't open enough! First, I'm not perfect in this department. Second, I want you to know this message is to women in safe marital relationships. If you are being sexually or physically abused, get help and get help now.

My Soul Sings is a place where I get personal with you and this post is more personal than most. I must tell you, sex is the ticket to getting your needs met. Some might read that and think I am a proponent of manipulation. I am not. I detest manipulation. I would like to invite you to see it as sacrificial and unconditional.

Wait a second, Amy...you just said sex was the ticket to getting your needs met and turned around and used the words sacrificial and unconditional? The word unconditional by definition contradicts this statement. Yes, you are right, it does. Let me explain...

If you are a wife whose emotional needs aren't being met, it would be a sacrificial act of unconditional love on your part to meet the needs of your husband physically. Unconditional love is love with no strings attached.

Which brings me to what I must say next. If you want your way I'm here to tell you griping, complaining and berating your man isn't the way to get it. You're only making the gap between the two of you larger and larger. I've met some couples where the gap is so wide it takes a great commitment and hours of counseling to bridge it...sadly, many end in divorce because the gap seemed to large to bridge. After years of decay they opt out because they want relief from the pain and years of needs going unmet.

No amount of browbeating will bring about positive change in anyone. A negative on top of a negative doesn't equal a positive. That's a whole other topic for another day:)

So, what if...just what if, regular tumbling between the sheets brings out the best in your man? You'll never know, if you don't give it a try.

I'm chuckling at what I'm about to share with you. My sweet hubby gets used as an example so many times. He's good with it. I'll even read this post to him later.

This past weekend the girls weren't home. We had some things to accomplish around the house and also planned a date night. Life is incredibly busy right now and I love it when we make it a point to spend time together. If you're familiar with the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman you can probably tell quality time is one of my love languages. I also blossom with words of affirmation and acts of service.

Russell spent Saturday afternoon taking the blinds down in each room of our house. He took them outside, washed them and hung them back up. He also cleaned all the windows, from the inside and the outside. This was his idea. I hadn't asked him to do it. SCORE! This would be an act of service.

Saturday night we had dinner with some friends at a lovely restaurant overlooking the Tennessee River. SCORE! This would be quality time.

We came home, snuggled and (use your imagination here:) SCORE! This would be physical touch.

Sunday morning came and he informed me he had picked up a gerber daisy (my favorite flower) and potted it for my table on the patio where I sit in the mornings to enjoy coffee and quiet time. SCORE! This would be receiving of gifts.

Later in the morning he looked at me with loving eyes and told me how awesome I was. SCORE! This would be words of affirmation.

He was one happy pappy. His needs were met, my needs were met....and the whole family benefits from the atmosphere of love in the house. This also brings security to our children. It sends the message mom loves dad and dad loves mom...we are safe.

What I don't want you to take from this post is you can be a vixen in the bedroom tonight and expect diamonds and roses tomorrow. It takes time and consistency, but it's so worth it!

A dear friend and I were talking about sex the other day. She said, "Amy, to them (our hubbys) sex is like oxygen." It's true. Obviously we can not live without oxygen...perhaps to the male species, they can't "live" without sex. All I know is my hubby is tends to be less frustrated, more at peace and generally more pleasant when we are having sex regularly.

I may sound like a broken record, but again, you are only in control of you. You can only control how you respond to life's situations and challenges. A healthier, more fulfilled you is on the horizon as soon as you stop looking to others to meet your needs. It can start with letting your husband off the hook. Will you take the first step? Will you make the sacrifice? You might possibly end up enjoying it!

For those in sexual bondage or suffering with guilt from their sexual past, there is help and there is healing. Sexual sin is almost always the fruit of a deeper rooted issue...a way to medicate the pain or unmet need. If you struggle in any of these areas, I invite you to check out the inner healing ministries offered here.

If you've enjoyed this post and would like to read others like it go here, here, here and here.

I only issue challenges I'm willing to take myself...girls, let's do this one together! My Soul Sings because God thought it not good for man to be alone so He gave him woman. Embracing my role as wife, encourager, life giver, friend and most importantly, LOVER!

*TMI-acronym for too much information

Crisis Prevention

I have been reminded more than once this week God speaks our language. He can use the tiniest, most seemingly insignificant detail and use it to reach us. He loves us that much! I even witnessed Him use me in a ministry session to speak the language of the recipient without me being aware of it until after the fact. God speaks and walls come down!

I'm no stranger to hearing God's voice through the mundane things of life. I've even blogged about it here, here, here and here.

This week He gave me yet another picture using something ordinary...nails, my nails, more specifically my chipping, breaking, splitting nails. I recently started having my nails done with a fairly new technique called Shellac. This isn't necessarily critical for you to know, but I wanted to brag on my friend and nail tech, Bobbie Nation. Bobbie has a heart of gold. Sitting in her chair getting your nails done leaves you feeling not only pretty, but well loved:)

I wasn't scheduled to have them re-done until next week, but I was having a crisis, a nail crisis. I sent Bobbie a text saying, "I'm having a nail crisis! Can you get me in earlier?" I had to wait a few days. The thing with Shellac is even though they are your natural nails, the polish doesn't come off with regular remover. Not something I could really take of myself. It was really bothering me that my nails were looking so raggedy:)

This seemingly superficial post is going to get serious...stay with me:)

In the world of inner healing (lay men's terms, healing of the heart (emotional/spiritual) pain) we often receive requests for ministry that are URGENT. This especially happens when people find themselves in crisis mode. They call and want to be seen yesterday.

My mentor, friend and colleague, Vikki Waters, has trained me well in not allowing others' crisis to become my crisis. There will always be someone needing help and boundaries are crucial when you are involved in ministry.

What I have learned is people in crisis aren't always in a place to receive deep healing. The crisis is all they see and they want it fixed. In reality the best time to receive ministry or inner healing is when life is relatively calm...perhaps even avoiding many of the "crisis" times all together.

If I have any males that are reading this blog, which started out like a piece on "Toddlers and Tiaras," I want you to know I haven't forgotten you. Maybe you can't relate to my nail crisis analogy, but you can relate to car maintenance. Simple things like oil changes can PREVENT major vehicle issues down the road. I'm no car expert, but not changing your oil regularly can lead to some high price engine issues, among other things.

Let's put this in a real life scenario of marriage. Marriage takes work. Marriage is an investment. What can happen if you don't invest enough time and energy in your marriage? Potential boredom, loneliness, un-fulfillment (sexually and/or emotionally,) adultery and loss of relationship are just a few issues that come to mind.

How can these pitfalls be avoided? Maintenance, i.e. date nights, weekend getaways, short walks together, regular sex (very important!!!) and a safe environment in which to talk and share feelings openly without fear of being ignored, chastised or yelled at.

Bottom line and the point of this post is to encourage each of you reading this to be prudent. If you are struggling in an area don't wait for the bottom to drop out before you do something about it. Although I believe nothing is impossible for God and it's never too late for Him to redeem and restore, the truth is, when humans are involved there isn't always a willingness or desire for healing/restoration/redemption/reconciliation. Reconciliation takes both parties to be successful.

As I've said before and I will say again...on your very best day, you are only in control of YOU! Which means you can only do something about YOU! Expecting others around you to change to solve your problems will find you waiting a lifetime and will carry with it much frustration.

What are you waiting for...a crisis? I've been in several crisis times myself and they are NO fun. As far as it has to do with me, I want to maintain, prevent and go after what is broken and allow Holy Spirit to do "maintenance" on my heart and avoid crisis as much as possible! And when crisis does comes, because it will, my hope is to be able to handle it with the mind of Christ, from heaven to earth.

I am ever so thankful Papa God speaks in our language. He doesn't pass up an opportunity to minister to our hearts, but the key is, are you listening? I invite you to open the eyes and ears of your heart and look for Him in the mundane, the simple things in life. My Soul Sings because He uses it all, little and big, to bring Him glory and to bring me into a closer relationship with Him! He is so GOOD!